Monday, June 8, 2009

Y! Alert: Dlisted - Be Very Afraid

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The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid


A Do And A Don't Top
Unless Jessica Lange is starring in an Oxygen movie based on the life of Jocelyn Wildenstein , she has no business wearing that face. Jessica insists that she's never had any kind of work, but come on. Humans don't ripen like that. You don't wake up one day with a face like Heathcliff's girlfriend. Jessica needs to gaze at Jane Fonda some more. That's what her face should look like! If Jessica effs with her face anymore she's really going to look like a creature who meows when they're hungry. Then Apple is going to name their next operating system after her face. Here's Jessica and Jane at the Tony Awards last night. I also threw in some pictures of Liza and Dolly , because it was the right thing to do. And that plastic surgery comment doesn't apply to Dolly. She's a completely organic beauty. The Tennessee mountain air keeps her looking as fresh as baby's breath.
 
The Gosselin Dogs Are Not Being Abused, So Says Jon Top
The Humane Society near the Gosselin house in Pennsylvania has received a dozen complaints from hos after Jon's dumb dumb ass said this shit to People about the family dogs: "Those kids beat them up, climb on them, pull their tails, bite at them, drag them around and everything you can imagine not to do to an animal, they've done." After the Human Society contacted the Gosselins and Kate yelled at Jon for being so stupido in the brains, he issued this statement: " I'd like to set the record straight. I'm stupid in the brains. " No, that's what Kate wanted him to say. He really said: " We understand the responsibilities of being good dog owners. Whenever my kids are with Shoka and Nala, everyone is carefully supervised to ensure that no one – dog or child – is injured. Shoka and Nala are loyal companions who we consider members of our family. We would never do anything to hurt them, and treat them with the respect and love that they deserve. " The Humane Society said they didn't visit the Gosselin house, because there is "no credible reason to believe in any way that there is cruelty going on. " What they really meant to say is that they just don't have the time to look into the complaints right now. All of their staff members are busy investigating the possible abuse of the maimed possum on top of Kate's head. That tortured creature on her head has definitely been dragged, stabbed, bleached, electrocuted, burned, bit and beat. Here's pictures of the beast on Kate's head pleading for help as she runs errands near her house today.
 

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