| Heidi Klum Wins At Halloween Again | Top |
| Why did anybody even bother throwing a Slutty Chilean Miner costume from Rite-Aid over their bodies when Heidi Klum turns this shit into a one-woman Halloween EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAAA every damn year. At Heidi's annual Halloween party in NYC last night, she told comfort to fuck off and showed up dressed like the robotic alien leader from RiRi's home planet (the Magic 8-Ball forehead gave it away). This is a costume for a strong bitch who isn't going to cry (actually, crying in this costume is impossible) when every pore and hole starts hyperventilating and gasping for a shot of air. Heidi must've had an asthma inhaler shoved up her cooch so her crotch didn't pass out. How can Heidi Klum properly celebrate Whoreoween in this shit? No getting fucked up. No carefully choreographed " wardrobe malfunctions ." No passing out face first in a men's room urinal or on the dick of a stranger. None of that! And Heidi's digestive system and bladder must train for this day all month long since they have to keep their shit together (literally) for the entire night. You can't just go for a quick pee pee times when it takes Mike Holmes , two jaws of life, and the extra large jar of grease your grandma keeps under her kitchen sink to get you out of your costume. Here's more of the Keeper of Halloween and her husband Seal (who went as a roided-up Silver Surfer, or maybe he's one of The Silver Fox's platinum jizz balls...) at their party last night. |
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| Well, This Is Sad.... | Top |
| When I first read this over at ABC News , I thought some drunken editor stumbled in from their night of Halloween debaucheries and accidentally republished an old article, but sadly no... A rep for Lily Allen has released a sad statement of sads confirming that she has suffered a miscarriage 6 months into her pregnancy. In August, Lily Allen made the announcement that she was expecting a baby friend with her boyfriend Sam Cooper. Here's the statement from Lily's rep: "It is with great sadness that we have to confirm that Lily Allen and Sam Cooper have lost their baby. The couple ask that their privacy be respected and that they be left alone at this deeply distressing time. No further comment will be made." It was only two years ago that Lily and her boyfriend at the time Ed Simons publicly lost their baby. :( Well, you might need one of these to combat the sad, so open your eyes wide and swallow up: Actually, that probably didn't help since Pancake the cat is eating a tuna/corn mash on a plate of pancakes. I know Pancake is a cat, but he needs a taste bud transplant. I mean, corn, tuna and Bisquick? Ick. Nast. Etc. No, that definitely didn't help. |
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| The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For October 29th! | Top |
| Sadly for Prince Charming, Cinderella was sitting on his face at midnight. - starvis Runners-up: After washing off the bro-seed from their faces, Michael, Vinny, and Paulie frolic the Jersey Shore once again, while sporting a new orange glow only Snooki would be jealous of. - solx82 The tricks go for treats at the Travolta compound. - SpiceDong Big head, nekkid body, doesn't show the full peen. Enough with the Kanye posts! - OurMissC via Naked Pumpkin Run ( click here for the NSFW version) |
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| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
| Miss Mikki Nicholson , the 32-year-old pink transsexual glow stick flower who stomped her heel into her competition, and dragged all of them across the Scrabble board to win the British National Scrabble Championship with the 86-point word " obeisant " (aka the " safe word" Aretha Franklin uses with her motorboating partners)! Miss Mikki is considered somewhat of a Scrabble newbie since she only started getting serious about the game 5 years ago, but it must be her true calling because she took down Mark Nyman , a four-time British champion, a world champion and a 30-year Scrabble veteran. Not only did Miss Mikki win a luxurious crystal bowl, which looks like it was bought on lay-a-way from the Fingerhut catalog, but she was also given £1,500. Miss Mikki will use the cash to travel to Malaysia for the Causeway Scrabble Challenge. Congratulations to Miss Mikki! And I know Miss Mikki needs to kiss her teefs with an OxiClean wipe, slather her face shadow with a thick layer of NADS and show her nails some lacquer-covered love, but she has more important things to focus on. LIKE MAKING WORDS! Besides, Mikki's 150-point eyebrows came to play and that's all that matters. via The Guardian & Fark |
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