The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Now This Is A Fucking Acceptance Speech | Top |
| Mickey Rourke's acceptance speech at yesterday's Independent Spirit Awards was made of gold. The speech sparkled more than his silver bullet toof! This is exactly why he needs to win the Oscar tonight. If this is the kind of shit he delivered at the Spirit Awards, I can't even imagine what fuck word covered gems will fall out of his mouth tonight. Of course, Mickey dedicated the award to his beloved Loki who might not have been watching form heaven since I don't know if they get IFC in heaven. Mickey also wore a little locket with Loki's precious face on it. The Milo & Otis of our time: Mickey & Loki. During the rest of his fuck bomb-filled speech, Mickey made a plea to Hollywood to give the amazing Eric Roberts a fucking job. Mickey also thanked the girl he calls " Gap Tooth " and said " Melissa-Marisa Tomei " can climb the pole and did it well. Seriously, this is how a bitch gives an acceptance speech. Every whore in Hollywood from here on out needs to watch this shit so they know how it's done. Why can't Mickey accept every damn award at the Oscars tonight? Shit, he should host and present every award too. Just change it to The Mickey Rourke Show . I could probably even watch it sober! Okay, probably not. Mickey's speech is below: | |
| HAHAHAHA! | Top |
| It looks like Kim Zolciak's website fell off the damn tightrope. If you put your ear to the window, you can hear NeNe screaming, " Now who is the low budget bitch?! " Seriously, Bravo needs to officially change the title to The Really Broke Houswives of Atlanta , because these hos can't pay their bills! I mean, couldn't Kim shake out her kitchen ass wig. There has to be a few confederate coins, Jimmy Hoffa's wallet and the master key to DeShawn's lock jaw hiding up in there. Some of that shit has to be worth something. And if it's not, it's time for her road kill wig to stop laying around and get a damn job! Kim's mangy dog wig can star in a remake of Benji . | |
| Nicole Richie Is Knocked Up Again | Top |
| That was fast. Joel Madden wrote on Good Charlotte's website that Sad Clown Baby is going to be a big sister! And this means Nicole Richie is going to get so fucking fat! And by "so fucking fat, " I mean more than 75lbs. Lard Ass Richie! Here's what Joel wrote: What's better than winning an Oscar? I am so happy to tell everyone that Harlow is going to be a big sister! God has truly blessed my family. Hope your all feeling as good as i am right now......... Better than an Oscar? Let me see. Oscars are gold-plated and shiny. They don't accidentally (or purposely) go pee times in your face. They don't interrupt your beauty sleep in the middle of the damn night with their moaning. And they don't squirt out poopy pea soup. Yeah, waaaay better. | |
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