The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| David Walliams Makes Mark Ronson The Butt Of The Joke | Top |
| I'm sure most of us would love to rip the pants off of Mark Ronson , but you have to ask first and provide him with a hot meal beforehand. You can't just go exposing his gerbil hole to everyone. Which exactly what David Walliams did to him the other night. At a charity event in London, David (performing as one of his Little Britain characters Des Kaye ) decided to have a little fun with SamRo's brother by grabbing at his peen and plums. When Mark shooed him away, David came harder and the two hit the ground. They looked like they were re-enacting a playdate between Tommy Girl and Becks . In the end, David showed off Mark's hairy end to 3,000 people in the audience. Not only did Mark not appreciate getting molested by David, but he also didn't seem happy that his fancy suit got ripped. Or maybe he was just doing that thing called " acting " since he might have already know that this is part of Des' act. Des is known for pantsing a bitch in front of everyone. If Des came at me like that, I'd whip out the Vaseline and drop it down low. A still of Mark Ronson's furry pancakes is after the jump. Take off your own pants and JUMP! read more | |
| How To Massage Your Dog | Top |
| Remember the lady who taught us how to give our pussies a rub down ? She has returned and this time she's brought a dog friend names Henry Wrinkler (!!!) with her. Yes, she's teaching us how to massage our dogs. While watching this I started to take notes so that I can give my own dog a massage later on, but then I thought to myself, " Why in anal gland hell should I massage that ho?!" I mean, I already put food in his bowl every day. I even have to heat it up a little bit, because he likes it warm. AND I pick up his shit out in public while he secretly laughs at me. AND I'm even extra quiet in the morning while he's sleeping so I won't wake his lazy ass. AND now this lady is asking me to massage him?! Where is the video that teaches dogs how to massage humans? I could use a massage. Better yet, if my dog learned how to massage people he could get licensed and then go out get himself a job. That way he could contribute to this household. Barking, burrowing and ass sniffing doesn't pay the bills ( Ryan Gaycrest doesn't count). And after all that ranting, you know I'll be massaging my dog's head tonight while singing him rhymey songs. A sucker IS me. VIA Everything Is Terrible | |
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