The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| No, They Are Not Licking On Each Other's Parts | Top |
| Orlando Bloom and Jennifer Aniston were on the same flight from LAX to Heathrow the other day, and when they landed they sped off in the same van. Orlando doesn't have to worry about Aniston showing up to his house in the middle of the night wearing a wedding dress and carrying a cat dressed as a priest (Father Meow Meow), because the two are just fweeeends. They were both making their way to Morocco to attend the re-opening of some hotel on Thanksgiving. Orlando met Miranda Kerr , his current taint bumper, there. So Bloomiston doesn't exist for now. Fishsticks Paltrow (sans her cunt of a husband) was also in Morroco to ruin the party for everyone by looking like a flaccid penis with a long foreskin problem. | |
| Cheating Tiger, Hidden Whore? | Top |
| Remember Rachel Uchitel ? She's the one that Star Magazine said was doing illegal fucky times with the very-married David Boreanaz ? Well, it looks like Rachel's bull dozer vagina is now wreaking havoc on Tiger Wood's picture perfect home. According to the National Enquirer (insert obligatory side-eye here), Tiger has been stepping out on his wife of six years and his two children. Sources say that Tiger is knocked balls into Rachel Uchitel's hole. Rachel's friends say that she's met up with him in Australia, Los Angeles and Las Vegas. When they aren't screwing on the down low, they are humping each other through text messages. One friend added, "Rachel told me, 'I'm having an affair with Tiger Woods. We're in love!' She even read me text messages Tiger sent her that said 'I love you, babe. It's always going to be just you and me. They were constantly sexting. Tiger asked what she was wearing, what did she want him to do to her, what did she want to do to him. I reminded Rachel that he was married, and she said 'Big fucking deal! It's Tiger Woods! I don't care about his wife! We're in love.' Her nickname for Tiger is Bear. " The Enquirer followed Rachel to a hotel in Australia where Tiger was staying. Apparently, they watched her take the elevator up to Tiger's VIP suite in the sky. When they asked Rachel about it, she lied at first, but then she said she was there " on business. " Yeah, ho business. Tiger's lawyer denied the affair, but did say that the two have met before at a club or something. This Rachel trick is no joke! Does homegirl have Star Maps tattooed on her labia lips? Bitch is turning star fucking into a full-time job and she's determined to be Employee of the Year. Seriously, it looks like Sienna Miller has just been replaced as every wife's pubic (typo and it fits) enemy #1! via Celebitchy | |
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