The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Zsa Zsa Gabor Is Going To Lose Half Of Her Leg | Top |
| And now here's some awful news that will make every crystal in the world lose its shine and every single feather wilt like an overheated swan. Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband Prince von Anhalt tell TMZ that a private ambulance is taking her to UCLA Medical Center to have a blood clot in her leg removed. The blood clot has spread so much that doctors believe they will have to amputate some of her leg. Why didn't Zsa Zsa slap the fuck out of that blood clot when she had the chance? Sads. Zsa Zsa wanted to spend what could be her last holiday at home, so she didn't go to the hospital earlier even though doctors advised her to. Prince von Anhalt is finally taking Zsa Zsa to the hospital today, because her doctor said that she could flutter off to the great big chandelier in the sky if she didn't. Zsa Zsa has been sprinkling her glamour on the world for 93 years, so she deserves some rest and it's not right that a motherfucking blood clot had to mess that up. Hopefully, a diamond-encrusted prosthetic half leg will be waiting for her after surgery. Good thoughts in a bubble bath bubble to Zsa Zsa. | |
| Well, This Is A Shock | Top |
| David Arquette has pretty much been seven shades of DRUNK AS FUCK ever since his marriage to Courtney Cox was stabbed in the heart, so nobody's really pushing out an ounce of shock over the news that he's checked his shit into rehab on New Year's Day. To be fair to David, most of our livers probably crawled out of our assholes and took a cab to the nearest rehab clinic on New Year's Day. Yup, that's what fell out of your ass. It wasn't an old condom. Relieved, right? So anyway, they're going to wring the sweet nectar out of David's pores, take a million Biore strips to his greasy ass face and get him all cleaned up. David's spokeswhore confirms the news to People and a source added this: "He is in there for drinking and depression, not hard drugs. Rehab was inevitable. He is dealing with a broken heart. He can't handle all the changes in his life. All his inner demons came out." All his inner demons came out?! That sounds like me on the toilet after drinking well tequila and Taco Bell's $5 box. And for real, I feel for David's roommate. You know David's ass. The bitch CAN TALK about his problems! He goes on and on and on and on and on. David's poor roommate is in there trying to keep off the bad shit and he's got that loud ho crying out a river of WAH WAH WAH about all his damn problems. David's roommate will definitely learn in a quick minute how to make a mild-altering drug out of toilet rust, paint chips and carpet fibers. | |
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