The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- Gabriel Aubry Is Disappointed
- Stepford Katie's Jackie O Will See The Light Of Day!
- Halle Said, Gabriel Said
- Kristen Stewart As Lois Lane?
- Open Post: Hosted By Rod Stewart & Ronnie Wood
| Gabriel Aubry Is Disappointed | Top |
| The surprisingly nasty custody battle royale between Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry just got another statement added to its file. Gabriel has responded to Halle's claims that she's concerned about leaving their daughter Nahla with him alone . Halle made it sound like Gabriel is brushing his golden locks with a silver comb in a mother of pearl mirror while Nahla is chewing on the strange plastic toy Kim Kardashian left at his house. Or something. But Gabriel wants you to know that Halle must be me morphing back into her Jungle Fever crack whore character, because she is spewing lies and he's a loving father who would never hurt his child. Gabriel's rep said that he's not going to air his shit out to the press, and then he kept talking. The statement from Access Hollywood . "While Gabriel is disappointed in Halle's decision to falsely malign him publicly and for her own purposes, he refuses to be pulled into her dispute over a canceled film production. Gabriel also refuses to air their issues in the press as he believes this may ultimately harm their daughter. The fact is that Gabriel is a caring father who shares custody of Nahla. Gabriel fully believes that a consistent and balanced living situation and two loving parents are crucial for their child even if Ms. Berry feels otherwise. He will always defend his rights as a father and will always consider Nahla's best interest. Halle's continuing allegations in the press are untrue and irresponsible." I really have nothing more to add. But mostly because my ass is pressed against that picture on my monitor and it's getting really hard to type upside down. | |
| Stepford Katie's Jackie O Will See The Light Of Day! | Top |
| The History Channel told the 8-hour long Kennedys mini-series to eff off after Caroline Kennedy and Maria Shriver threatened to sic the NOT THE ONE spirit of Little Edie on them. The soil in Jacqueline Onassis' grave remained untilled....until now. Several networks including Showtime shut down the Kennedys biopic starring Greg Kinnear and Katie Holme s, but something called a ReelzChannel has breathed life into it and will air the $30 million series this April. Just in time for April Fool's! The CEO of this ReelzChannel place had this to say to People : "We don't enjoy controversy or want to pick a fight, but the history is the history. When you watch this, there are incredible successes and unbelievable tragedies. The family stays together and they're loyal to each other and to the country throughout the highest highs and the lowest lows. The cast put their heart and soul into this, and with great care to accuracy of circumstances and visuals. We're so thrilled and proud of being able to step up and help this story be told that they so carefully created." It was either ReelzChannel, or the producers were going to dub it in Spanish, add a few face slaps and " LAGARTES " and sell it to Telemundo for a box of chicles. And no, I still don't know what a ReelzChannel is. Maybe I stumbled onto it one night and we never exchanged names, but I have until April to find it again! | |
| Halle Said, Gabriel Said | Top |
| Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry named their kid after a character in The Lion King , but they definitely can't feel the love tonight (let me use the facilities first and then you can GONG! me). Halle's rep issued a statement last night saying that she's pulling out of a movie, because she needs to focus on a Losing Isaiah-like custody battle against Gabriel Aubry. Halle says she's not comfortable leaving Nahla in Gabriel's care, and his friends say that she's ALL-CAPS CRAZY!!! But Halle's friends slapped back and said he's the one who needs to smoke a bowl through a bong made of Xanax and settle down. In Gabriel's corner, his friends tell TMZ that when he was dating a trick last year, Halle channeled her Gothika character and brought the rage on him. Apparently, Halle doesn't want to fuck Gabriel, but she doesn't want anybody else fucking him either. Gabriel's friends also say that when they were all in South Africa while Halle was shooting a movie, she was with Olivier Martinez when she should've been taking care of Nahla. Gabriel thinks that Halle cares more about peen than her own daughter. In Halle's corner, sources close to her say that Gabriel is the shit parent who is as jealous as he is crazy. Sources went on to say that Halle has reason to believe that Gabriel's mind is elsewhere when he's taking care of Nahla and she's afraid something bad will happen. You know, if I looked like Gabriel, I'd probably spend most of my time staring in the mirror instead of making sure my kid doesn't stick her finger in the electrical socket, so I can't blame him. But seriously, this is turning into some ugly ass shit between two pretty people. I haven't seen Halle or Gabriel's mental health file, but TMZ makes both of them sound absolutely motherfucking nuts. Why don't they just leave Nahla with Simba for a few while they fight out in a padded room. | |
| Kristen Stewart As Lois Lane? | Top |
| Hasn't Margot Kidder been through enough?! I'm already cringing at the news that Kristen Stewart may play Snow White (more like Weed Green) on screen, and now here's a rumor that she's just one of the names being thrown around as a possibility for the role of Lois Lane . Shut everything down, so this doesn't get to Margot Kidder! Zack Snyder has already found a hot piece to stuff into Superman's Spandex jeggings , and now he's focused on finding the perfect Lois Lane who will hopefully have better hair than the sad mousy mop of dried shit string that was on Kate Bosworth's head. What's Playing says that Anne Hathaway was offered the role, but she pushed it off her table in order to play Catwoman in The Dark Knight Rises . Since Zack's first choice isn't into that shit, he's auditioning almost every young trick who's been on the cover of Elle, Cosmo, Vogue or whatever in the past month including Malin Akerman, Rachel McAdams, Jessica Biel, Dianna Agron, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and KRISTEN STEWART! This rumor must have originated in the brain of a Twihard before spreading all over the Internet. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think Superman ever dropped Lois Lane midair, because he could no longer take looking down and seeing her face twitch like she's getting an enema in slow motion. Kryptonite is supposed to be Superman's only deadly weakness. Unless, details got mixed up and Kristen is REALLY in talks to play a piece of Kryptonite. Now that I can see. | |
| Open Post: Hosted By Rod Stewart & Ronnie Wood | Top |
| If you're really into old lesbian Hobbit porn, stretch your jackin' hand, because here's Rod Stewart sweetly puckering up to Ronnie Wood's ear outside of The Ivy restaurant in London last night. Rod's permanently pregnant wife Penny Lancaster is probably wondering why his mole never gets that erect when he kisses on her. Sorry, Penny, it's not personal. Ronnie has that effect on moles. | |
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