The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| And Jennifer Love Hewitt's On To The Next Man | Top |
| That cracking sound you heard was from a dozen of Jennifer Love Hewitt's friends breaking their eye bones (YES, we have eye bones) from rolling so hard after seeing that she has called them after a year of silence. Yes, Jennifer Love Hewitt is forever that friend who isn't even trying to have contact with you while she's got a man but will stick to you like sperm on a Duggar ovary when she doesn't. Well, JLove's friends will have to pry her off with whatever you use to pry size 2 clingers off of you, because she's single again. The basic cable Jennifer Aniston has let it be known to UsWeekly that she has quit it with her boyfriend of a year Alex Beh . This is the same Alex Beh who JLove said brought her flowers every day. It's also the same Alex Beh who knew that JLove already had three Tiffany engagement rings picked out just in case he wanted to propose. And now he's the Alex Beh who's the latest member of The Exes of Jennifer Love Hewitt Club that meets once a week in the basement of a church and bowls together as a team every Sunday afternoon. We can all sit here and type that JLove needs to put the STOP in desperate, but this is just her way. She gets a man, drools nauseating love hearts all over him, proclaims to the world that he's better than nipple cream and when the relationship ends she uses her tears to stick rhinestones onto her vagina before she finds another man. Barf, rinse, repeat, etc... Ho is probably uttering out an "I love you " right now to the valet at the vajazzle salon. | |
| This Exists: Adult Man Babies | Top |
| Once you get past homegirl's chichis that look like two baby elephants lying in a hammock on a hot August day, 29-year-old Stanley Thornton will tell you all about how he lives half of his life as a diaper-wearing, bottle-sucking man baby. National Geographic's " Taboo " spent some time with Baby Stanley and learned that due to a fucked up childhood filled with abuse he started craving a normal baby life that he never had. So Stanley built a crib that can hold a 400lb baby, used his disability check to buy Legos and doesn't feel at home unless Mother Elephant Tits is wiping his butt with baby wipes (insert terrencehowardperkingup.gif here). I know you're probably thinking that is just some kinky diaper sex shit, but Stanley says that he de-stresses from baby role playing. We all have our thing that keeps us from going crazy and tying a weight to our ankles before we jump off a bridge. For instance, I sit on the toilet and pretend that Diane Sawyer is asking me about my life problems for a very special edition of 20/20. Some might label this as " weird ." So how can I judge a grown ass man who willingly cacas into an adult diaper and feels complete when wet poop leaks up his back (copyright: Tina Fey) as he lays next to Mother Elephant Tits? I cannot judge him for this, but I can judge him for talking about it on National Geographic! The mothers in his play date group who bought Mama Elephant Tits' " oh, he's just a fast grower" excuse aren't going to invite them over anymore! And if Suri doesn't put down the bottle, this might be her future. via HuffPo | |
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