The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Jason Sudeikis Isn't The Father | Top |
| Here's January Jones at the Lakers playoffs last night with a tiny fetus gut (I just can't type " baby bump " anymore. Oh, I just did) that doesn't look that much different from the one I sport every single day even though I do at least a dozen crunches before bed time every night. And by that I mean I take a dozen bites of a Crunch bar every night. But I digress... The other night, Jason Sudeikis nearly bit pieces of his tongue off and stuffed them into his ear holes so he wouldn't have to hear anymore questions about whether or not a resident of his ball sack had a part in making the fetus that is growing in January Jones' uterus. A SIGN OF GUILT! However, a source type tells UsWeekly that Jason Sudeikis is most likely not the father. The source says that one of the reasons why Jason tiptoed away from the relationship is because January started to get an itch in her ovaries and she wanted his sperm fish to scratch it. Jason is not ready to deal with massive amounts of baby diarrhea just yet. The source put it like this: "She told him she wanted kids and it turned him off. Jason was bummed out she was on the mommy track." There you have it! This proves that Jason Sudeikis is NOT THE FATHER (not really). You can scratch out his name with a pencil and get yourself ready, because it seems likely that this is what January is going to birth out in a few months: FYI: Baby Flay made that fedora himself using the placenta and the umbilical cord. | |
| Afternoon Crumbs | Top |
| If the Louisiana trailer park flower named Brit Brit Spears was invited to the MET Costume Gala, this is exactly what she would've worn and she would've definitely been my best dressed - The Superficial To say Kiki Dunst's dress looks like a memaw's floor moppin' dress is offensive to floor moppin' memaws - Lainey Gossip Karissa Shannon already has the perfect outfit when she has to peddle her pussy on the train tracks for cigarette money in a couple of years - Hollywood Tuna How can there be a 2011 Tony Award ceremony without a DanRad nomination?! Voldemort totally stuffed the box! - Towleroad Emma Watson's stylist wins her the best dressed woman award - The Berry Either Kat Dennings is smuggling two white baby heads in her dress or that's a for real push-up bra (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather Vanilla Gorilla needs to give the Heil Hitler salute right up his own ass - Celebitchy This is normal for Chloe Sevigny - Just Jared Ke$ha (behind Evan Rachel Wood ) dressed up last night - ICYDK Hipsters do not chant or cheer on the L train - NYC Barstool Sports WHY? is right - Popoholic With an outfit like that, Kingston Rossdale really should've been in the cast of H.R. Pufnstuf - Popsugar A scene from West Virginia's biggest " Osama Be Dead " parade - The Daily What I just love a good tell-all from a tranny hooker - Crunk + Disorderly The President's Speech the movie - Hollywood Rag Meanwhile, those are some fugly busted kitchen countertops - I'm Not Obsessed Make way for duckling - Cityrag Oh, one of Parasite Hilton's crotch crustaceans just crawled up her cleavage to say hi - Celebslam | |
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