The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess
- Lady Gaga Cancelled Her Show In Indonesia
- You Might Want To Log Out Of Twitter: Ashton And Demi Possibly Back Together
- Amanda Bynes: Bitch Can't Drive
- Hot Slut Of The Day!
- Birthday Sluts
- Michael Lohan Says Lindsay Was On Pharmaceuticals When She Hosted "SNL"
- Jenny McCarthy Better WATCH Her Child-Killin' Ass!
- Even A Bright Red Titty Escape Dress Can't Make Kristen Stewart Happy
- Hot Slut Of The Day!
| Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess | Top |
This very clean-cut, and religious television actress might be highly opinionated about morality, but we shouldn't judge her too harshly. She has a terrible pain-killer addiction she is struggling with. (BuzzFoto)
This A-list star was having a boys-only gay bash in the late '90s at his Hollywood Hills home when his then-wife (she's now his ex) unexpectedly showed up at the front door. The actor's bodyguard turned the Oscar-winning actress away because her hubby was busy hosting a slew of sexy young men! (National Enquirer via Blind Gossip)
So, this actress was A list. She was on top of the world and then got sucked into the lies of an A list movie actor and lost it all. Why? Because he was bored and placed a bet with crew members that he could get her to have sex with him. The bet was that he could get her to have sex in 10 different locations before the end of the movie. He won easily. She was always a bed and lights off person, but she did everything for him and anything he wanted. She was married at the time and had some on set flirtations but nothing beyond that even though her husband cheated on her frequently. She was going to be the good one in the relationship. She liked her martyr role. She liked being able to throw it into her husband's face whenever they argued which was often. There was no joy, but she was faithful at least until she met the A list actor that would change her life forever. He was bored. He was in the middle of nowhere and the drinking options were limited. He did like the crew though. He always got on with the crew. he also like getting it on with local women and extras and any other woman who was willing. The problem was there just weren't that many. So, one night when he was drinking he made a bet with the crew that he could get his co-star to have sex with him. The crew didn't think it was much of a challenge so the ten locations was added. The actor started the next day and it took entire days of talking to her and wearing her down. He gave up drinking for three days just so he could talk to her into the night. He turned on that A list actor charm and finally wore her down. They hooked up. All the time and everywhere. She was not just in this for the sex though, she had fallen in love with the actor. When she told him she was going to leave her husband, he was not even paying attention or it didn't register, but she did that and when she did, that was the end. Her A listness was over permanently. His A listness took a huge hit and took years and years to even come close to coming back. When he told her that he just was not interested in her that way and didn't want to be with her forever, it crushed her. It took her a few years to just get over that. She had given up everything and all he wanted was sex. (CDAN)
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| Lady Gaga Cancelled Her Show In Indonesia | Top |
She ain't dumb. If someone starts shooting, the ridiculous shit she wears will prevent her from running or diving to save her own ass. Lady Gaga has cancelled her big June 3rd show in Indonesia due to Islamic extremists thinking she's there to corrupt the children. The Indonesian police refused to grant her show a permit despite having already sold 52,000 tickets. Cowards! How could you do this to Mother Monster?!?! She must spread her message before people figure out she ripped off Róisín Murphy's entire career! "I'm so very sorry to the fans and just as devastated as you if not more. You are everything to me. I will try to put together something special for you. My love for Indonesia has only grown," she said via Twitter. I'm sure she'll recover and sleep peacefully on her giant pillow filled with money and ego. It's always amusing to see an American pop star just roll up on a foreign land thinking they're going to "rebel" because the "kids" need her. Call her Mrs. Birdseye - the show is frozen (God, I need to watch Medusa: Dare To Be Truthful again)! America is not the world, honey. I'm not saying censorship is the thing, but Sex And The City 2 shouldn't be your compass when it comes to international relations. Fuck, was that awful or what? Oppressed Muslim women were wrapping their niqabs tighter around their faces in embarrassment. Check out some more pics of Stefani at the Narita airport in Japan on the 16th of this month. I thought Chanel was supposed to look classy? Can you imagine sitting on a fucking airline flight in that get-up? I'd be clawing at myself trying to get comfortable. Then again, I'm writing from the perspective of a brokedown bitch in coach. | |
| You Might Want To Log Out Of Twitter: Ashton And Demi Possibly Back Together | Top |
Demi Moore recovered from her Whip-Its overdose. Ashton Kutcher realized he made mistakes. They both privately realized that the interest over his cheating, their split, and her meltdown had faded AND SOMETHING NEEDED TO BE DONE. So they're giving off signs that they're getting back together. Hopefully Twitter knows enough to slit UP its wrists and not across. Radar says that @aplusk and the former @mrskutcher attended the birthday party of one of their Kabbalah leaders, Rabbi Yehuda Berg. While there, they shared an "emotional 60-second embrace". Come now. Demi was just searching his pockets to see if he was holding, and Ashton was just dry-humping. Dude will stick his goofy dick anywhere. Apparently, they chatted for awhile and Demi was said to be staring at him like "a love-sick puppy". We can all sign off on the "sick" part. During the party, guests stood up to speak about how awesome the rabbi is (sounds like a good time) and Ashton is said to have started regretting shit when he got up. Ashton gave a speech at Kabbalah Rabbi Yehuda Berg's 40th birthday party and teared up when he said "I've made all these horrendous mistakes in the last year." A guest at the party said "Ashton's voice started to break as he spoke. He just fell into tears. He sat down to a round of applause while Demi just looked frozen." The "mistakes" he was talking about include fucking a slut on his sixth anniversary without having her sign a NDA first, and not being there to Tweet pics of Demi seizing after Redi-Whip overpowered her. Demi wasn't "frozen", that's just her face. If they DO get back together, can Ashton handle the bathroom bikini photoshoot duties this time? Sit down, Ma. | |
| Amanda Bynes: Bitch Can't Drive | Top |
Amanda Bynes was reportedly involved in ANOTHER vehicular hit-n-run. The victim claims Amanda clipped her on the 101 in the San Fernando Valley on April 10th and then sped off. The person she massaged bumpers with gave chase after recording the license plate number and noting who she was. Amanda and her BMW ran a red light and escaped. Fuck, once she hits something and gets her smartphone knocked out of her hand - bitch is suddenly The Driver. She needs to start taking the driver's ed car, complete with a passenger-side set of brakes and a cantankerous-ass driver's ed teacher willing to use them. This crazy bitch. You know the reason why she's taking out cars left and right is because she's always texting or she discovers tiny spots on her big mug in her mirror that the spray tan cannon somehow missed. And panics. Also, she compounds her idiocy by driving off like they won't find her. It's 2012. The only people who commit crimes anymore are fools. There are cameras everywhere, every move you make is recorded on someone's server, you leave DNA wherever you go, and people want to get on TV so they'll totally sell your ass out. The victim of Amanda's shitty driving tracked her fool ass down! From TMZ: CHP showed up, ran the plate and determined it was a rental vehicle. Officers told the victim the culprit was driving an Enterprise rental car. The victim then contacted Enterprise, who told her the person who had rented the car was Amanda Bynes. The victim then showed up at a CHP substation and ID'd Amanda from a photo lineup. And get this ... the photo of Amanda was taken just 4 days earlier -- it was her mug shot from a DUI arrest. Amanda was driving in West Hollywood on April 6 when she clipped a cop car and was immediately popped for DUI. This doesn't end well. For pedestrians. No charges have been filed against Penny Pingleton because they need another independent witness. It's LA, if you've used a craft services table, you can behead a nun and only do a couple of days. This means Bynes is still out on the streets. Out on the streets, with no job prospects (her show and She's The Man were a long time ago) and thinking she's on the bumper cars. Look both ways, everyone. Brandy needs to visit Ms. Bynes and explain what it means to kill someone with your car. | |
| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
| Baku, Azerbaijan became Ground Zero Fuckery last night when the Eurovision finals covered the air with broken mirror ball shards, exhaust pipe fumes from the most messed up acid trip ever and glow stick innards. Sweden was crowned the Grand Masters of Musical Foolery, which means that the come-to-life Russian nesting dolls known as Buranovskiye Babushki were ROBBED right to their faces. Every trick who voted against them needs to get a slap to the hands with a lapti (that's Russian for chancleta!). Not only were the Babushkis' dreams crushed by a professional arm waver from Sweden, but my third favorite Eurovision mess (after the Russian memaws and Conchita Wurst) didn't even make the finals. Montenegro's Rambo Amadeus should've been the top 3 for his name alone (Rambo Amadeus sounds like the name of Penn Jillette's next kid or the name of the dog mascot of the nerdiest fraternity at the nerdiest classical music school). The voters obviously don't appreciate a rhyme spitter whose rap skills make Skat Kat seem like the second coming of B.I.G. and who looks like a strung out Chris Gaines. I mean, before last night's performance, Rambo Amadeus obviously spent 8 hours inhaling the shower steam in a rent-by-the-hour motel room's bathroom to try to rid the coke toxins from his body, and he still slayed his competition! Dude even had ZZ Top and a Trace Cyrus Monument on his stage? What more did these voters want? RECOUNT: We need one! | |
| Birthday Sluts | Top |
Siouxsie Sioux (55) | |
| Michael Lohan Says Lindsay Was On Pharmaceuticals When She Hosted "SNL" | Top |
Lindsay Lohan's crazy hammerhead of a father says that the absolute embodiment of Liz Taylor (if Liz Taylor had looked anything like a cokey scarecrow disguised as a sheepdog) was beaned out on pills during her SNL appearance in March. Join me now in a boisterous "and?". In an "exclusive" interview with Celebrity VIP Lounge, the tree-jumpin' and pussy-kickin' Michael Lohan says that Lindsay was on prescription drugs that she "doesn't need" while playing a Disney princess and....I stopped watching after that. Sometimes Kristen Wiig can't even keep me watching that mess. And now she's gone. They're fucked. The reason why we have Father's Day says: "I have to say this…on SNL, Lindsay was not using any illicit drugs or drinking but she still is on prescription drugs that they gave her. And the meds that they give her are meds that they say she needs, but she doesn't need them. But they kind of make her flat. She's not acting at a full potential. It's like the screen is down over her." I didn't know if you knew this or not, but the Lohan family has more talent in it than just Lindsay (*chortle*) and Nana Lohan's frosted bundt cake with sprinkles recipe. Dina Lohan was a Rockette, Ali Lohan turned her progeria into a "modeling career", and Lee Strasberg is teaching the remedial acting class for extras in a car dealership commercial compared to Michael Lohan. Witness: "And now when she did Glee I said, 'Linds, get off the damn medication and let people see who you really are.' And for a couple days before Glee, she went off this stuff. And there were tears in my eyes when I watched Glee. THAT was Lindsay. Yeah that was her acting. That is Lindsay Lohan at The Parent Trap, Freaky Friday and Mean Girls potential. That is what she was." The tears were from the possibility that she might have made a couple chickens that he can siphon off her high ass. Look, if Lindsay Lohan had detoxed before filming Glee, TMZ would have bloody footage of her Trainspotting ass trying to eat Lea Michele's nose. Michael Lohan needs a job. And creating a website called "VIP Celebrity Lounge" isn't it! Can that bus make a return trip? | |
| Jenny McCarthy Better WATCH Her Child-Killin' Ass! | Top |
I kid, I kid! Despite having a website devoted to her which lists how many children have died due to lack of vaccinations, I know she didn't mean to lead people astray. She claims to have cured her son, and blames his autism on vaccines. The problem is that the famed medical expert (whose qualifications include having been the former "flirtatious boob shaker" on MTV's Singled Out) then wrote a book about it to share her wisdom. And then she went on Oprah. Oh dear. Cuz' no one was ever influenced by Oprah's show. Shit, I'm shocked this bitch didn't accidentally bring polio back to us. And now she goes and gets with HOT PIECE OF CAVEMAN ASS CHICAGO CUB BRIAN URLACHER? Strike two, ho. Urlacher is one of my many dream husbands. Michael K. has Mah Boo, I have any dude in the "linebacker ass" category (you thought MK was slutty...). E! sez the two have been spotted out and about in Chicago, and her person confirmed they're dating. "I'm outta fucks, here. Why is this a post?" Oh, it's not a post! It's a fucking warning! I've been gathering my resolve and the next time the Pats play the Cubs at Gilette, I'm storming the field and planting my face directly in Brian's sweaty ass. They're gonna need a Taser (or one of those Dunkin' Donuts limited time only Men In Black 3 star donuts with the brownie-batter filling) to draw me out!. And if I have to snatch at Jenny's cheap ass as I fly by, SO BE IT. It won't last. Once Jenny finds out that his three kids from previous relationships have been vaccinated, she'll bounce. Those children have been tainted by life-saving science! Gross. | |
| Even A Bright Red Titty Escape Dress Can't Make Kristen Stewart Happy | Top |
The always effervescent Kristen Stewart has three facial expression modes for the world - "Sullen," "Sneering," and "Stoned." Last night at the Cannes premiere of boyfriend Robert Pattinson's Cosmopolis, it was the first two on the menu. You'd be sullen, too, if you borrowed Jessie J.'s stylist and the wacky queen chose a dress that made your titty buds look like they're fighting over who gets the B cup status tonight. And that nipple! It's almost there! Just let it be great, K. Stew! After much deliberation, I've determined there could be three possible reasons for why Kristen Stewart is so stank-looking all the time: 1. She thinks she might have something on her teeth. You know people get OCD about something in particular? A former co-worker was always asking people to check "her grille" for stray food particles and her nostrils to make sure there were no "bats in the cave". Or, all the finger-sucking has fucked with her teeth and she's hiding them. 2. She thinks that all of this publicity is silly, and just wants people to let her practice her craft. Bella just wants to achieve true artistry! The problem is that she hasn't given a good performance since playing Jodie Foster's transgender daughter in Panic Room. The artistry ain't coming! 3. She's a cunt. It could be #3. Seriously, if being rich and famous is such a burden, step aside. I'll take over. J. Harvey can play an ineffectual girl in the woods in love with sparklepires. I'll squeeze my moobs into that dress. Shit, I'll make Christina Hendricks feel deficient. | |
| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
This luxurious bachelor of opulence who will sweep you off your feet with a gold broom and cover your with his mink-lined arms. He is so sumptuousness that he's like human Viennetta! Not much is known about your future husband, but Glasstire (via Buzzfeed) says these gold-plated pictures starring him have been making the rounds in Eastern European blogs for years and have finally swept onto the shores of American blogs in a gilded swan. They come with this (very loosely translated) note:
Did you just feel a tingle? Get up out of your chair and you should find the miniature gold Fabergé egg decorated with beluga sturgeon sperm that your b-hole pushed out after reading that decadent note. Your new husband could be some Serbian mobster or a Celine Dion's Russian interior decorate, but then again he could be the butler fronting for his Craigslist Moscow dating ad. It doesn't matter, though. It takes a certain king penguin-faced man to pull off dressing like a male Alexis Carrington while posing next to an heirloom passed down from the Grand Prospect Hall Dynasty, and your husband pulls it off. That's the only thing that matters. Melania Trump is probably kicking herself in the taint for marrying simple, homely Donald Trump instead of this master of decadence. Excuse me, master of plastic-wrapped decadence. | |
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