The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- Get It Together, TVGuide!
- The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For October 2nd!
- Hot Slut Of The Day!
- Birthday Sluts
- And So The Wig Yanking Begins!
- The Parental Controls On Brit Brit's Computer Are Always On
- Blind Items: The All Gay Edition
- Afternoon Crumbs
- Open Post: Hosted By Basement Baby's New Video
- George Clooney Is Totally Over Stacy Keibler
| Get It Together, TVGuide! | Top |
Sheree Whitfield of The Real Housewives of Atlanta took a little time out from installing a bidet (aka a garden hose) in the master bathroom (aka an empty coffee can) of her luxurious estate Chateau Sheree (aka plywood walls on a dirt hill) to tweet a few words about the passing of RuPaul's Drag Race queen Sahara Davenport and to also check TVGuide for mistaking her for Sahara. Damn you, TVGuide! Not all drag queens look the same. Sheree only wishes she looked as good as Sahara. The shade of it all, indeed! via Major TV Junkie (Thanks, Lahoma) | |
| The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For October 2nd! | Top |
Jim at Petco sighed and got out the big gloves. These were the most inflamed dog anal glands he'd ever seen. - upstatestruggler Runners-up: Muffy could hear the flat irons sizzling in the background and knew it was just a matter of time before she went from poodle to afghan hound, just like her owners. - MeowMeow via Splash | |
| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
| Something called the inaugural Raks Geek Sci Fi Bellydance competition exists in Chicago every year and at this year's contest this is what happened when a band of Klingons and a bellydancing Wookie made beautiful fuckery together. If you're a Star Wars nerd, then we'll leave you, this video and the furry sock you use as a Wookie fleshlight ALONE. If you're not a Star Wars nerd, then I'm pretty sure watching a Wookie gently hump the air allows you to take a mental health day. And if you're Lamar Odom, then I should tell your ass that this hot lady Wookie's name is Deserae and your lawyers are already drafting those divorce papers. Because Khloe Kardashian is no longer the sexiest Wookie on planet Earth. via Vulture | |
| Birthday Sluts | Top |
Tommy Lee (50) | |
| And So The Wig Yanking Begins! | Top |
| Keith Urban's got wig burns all over his face today and it's all because he was in the middle of two diva bitches dragging each other back and forth. The producers of American Idol have finally figured out that we don't want to see a bunch of fresh-faced, sappy ass kids sing some dumb Carrie Underwood song in between crying about how hard their life has been. We want to see WEAVES FLYING, which is sort of what happened during auditions in Charlotte, North Carolina today. TMZ got a hold of a video of Nicki making Hello Kitty her #1 enemy by cursing Mimi out as Keith Urban contemplated whether or not he should just throw himself out that window behind him. The producers had to press the stop button for the day after the toilet baby of Effie from the Hunger Games and Trash Heap nearly punched the rainbows out of the queen of the lambs. I speak fluent cunt, so this is what I heard in that video: Nicki: "And if you've got a fucking problem, handle it. I told them I'm not fucking putting up with your fucking highness over there." Mimi: "Oh why, why do I have a three year old sitting around me?" Nicki "I'm not sitting here for 20 minutes and have you run down your resume everyday." Mimi: "I can't see my kids, because you decided to act like a little crazy bitch and go all around the stage." Nicki: "Go see them now, go. You're boring as shit!" Apparently, after this, Nicki threatened to knock Mimi out. If this is some STUNT QUEEN shit, then slow clap for the producers for finally giving us a show. If this isn't some STUNT QUEEN shit, then slow clap for the producers for fully knowing that putting those two egos together would end with them scalping each other with their acrylic claws. Mimi responded to this mess on Twitter with a simple: whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy And I'm responding to this mess right here with a simple: YAAAAASSSSSSSS!!! UPDATE: And here's TMZ's transcript of this beautiful wreck: Nicki: Get this shit in self control. Get in control. Get in control. | |
| The Parental Controls On Brit Brit's Computer Are Always On | Top |
Remember Sam Lutfi from the pink wig days? Sam Lutfi's that butt leach with a pussy strip on his chin (No, not THAT butt leach with a pussy strip on his chin. THIS butt leach with a pussy strip on his chin.) who switched out Brit Brit's meds for mounds of Adderall and led her on a gas station tour of destruction? Well, Sam's still trying to sue Daddy Spears for breach of contract and apparently he's still trying to lure Brit Brit back in by calling her. So that is why Daddy Spears and Brit Brit's court-appointed fiance Jason Trawick keep all eyes on her Internet and phone use. Whenever Brit Brit wants to use the phone, they give her an empty soup can with a string attached and whenever she wants to go on the Internet, they give her one of those plastic laptops from the Ikea showroom. A source tells Radar that Brit Brit and Jason share a cell phone, so he knows every number that calls and blocks a bitch whenever Sam Lutfi tries to get through. Jason and Daddy Spears also block certain websites, because they don't want her to read any shit that crusty bitches write about her. (WHO, ME?!) The source said this:
The cell phone thing wouldn't bother me that much, because telemarketers have somehow found a way to infect my cell phone, so it'd be nice to have a ho who weed that out. But the Internet shit?! No. One of the best parts of being an adult is being able to look at porn without having to empty any cookies or wipe down your laptop after. I know Brit Brit can barely change her tampon brand without her conservators having a meeting about it, but she made them $58 million last year. The least they can do is give her some alone time with Internet porn and a tub of Cheetos body butter. You know that plug-in that blocks all Justin Bieber shit from your browser? Daddy Spears should install a plug-in like that on Brit Brit's laptop. Every time she goes to a site that has a story about her, a leavebritneyalone.gif will pop up. Crockerize her Internet! | |
| Blind Items: The All Gay Edition | Top |
Although this famous actor is now over the age of 50, he is instantly recognizable as the star of at least one television series and many movies. At his prime, every woman wanted to date him and every man wanted to be him. He has a wonderful vacation home that is not located on either coast. When his wife is not with him, he likes to invite young men to party with him at this house. Boys only. Yes, he is gay (although he has always vehemently denied it). He is especially partial to young, burly bears. Yes, he likes them hairy. (Blind Gossip)
These two very attractive actresses were both stars of multiple television series, although they have not starred on the same show. Both are intelligent and well-educated. Both have been nominated for multiple awards, although neither has won any big awards. What few people know is that the two actresses were in a very happy lesbian relationship with each other for several years. One of them was ready to come out of the closet, but her team talked her out of it at the last minute. They told her that it would hurt the ratings for the very successful show she was on at the time, and that it would also potentially hurt the career of her partner if they were publicly seen together. The two women have since broken up, but it certainly would have been quite a shock to the fans if they had come out as a couple at the time! BTW, one actress got married and had children. The other has remained single, but has "dated" several famous men, and is now linked to her costar. (Blind Gossip)
This A list model and D list actress at least in regards to ability has been dating this A list actor for quite some time. He had her convinced that all the rumors about him and his sexuality were untrue. At first when they started dating they would have passionate sex every night. She was used to three or four times a day or at least guys wanting it that often with her, but she still put it down to his age and his work schedule. Then, after a few months it reduced to a few times a week and then to about once a month and then, as she discovered it was just with the help of several Viagra pills. No man had ever needed Viagra with her before. When she confronted him about it he would say it was because he was tired or sore from working out or jet lagged. He would then take her shopping or on a trip and she would let it slide. When she started talking about marriage and kids though, this action star admitted that he prefers men over women. (CDAN)
This singer was almost A list at one point. When she was in a group she was A++ list with that group. Solo? Almost hit A list. Was thisclose. She has also been a sex symbol for lots of guys over the years. Over the past couple of months she has started coming out to many of her friends and family and the person she was most scared of not being supportive was actually really great and shows that person does have kind spot after all. (CDAN)
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| Afternoon Crumbs | Top |
Who needs panties when you can use Daniel Craig's head as a coochie cover? - Popsugar THE LOOK is Winona Ryder as a trashy biker skank - Lainey Gossip Lady CaCa can finally retire and let Rebel Wilson sing all of her songs for her from now on - Towleroad Chestica Simpson keeps it demure and classy in shorty shorts and platform stilts - Hollywood Tuna ScarJo dressed like she's about to have a quickie wedding at City Hall - Popoholic Dear LeAnn Rimes, all of your pain and so-called anguish will go away if you put your Falcor finger on something called the DELETE button - Celebitchy That River Viiperi dude should punch himself for boning Parasite Hilton - The Superficial Lea Michele needs to give that tutu back to the baby ballerina she stole it from, because it's not a titty cover and it's not a good look - Drunken Stepfather I hope Khloe Kardashian hosts X-Factor while bench pressing Mario Lopez the entire time - The Berry Panty Creamer of the Day: Football-playing gay rights advocate Chris Kluwe in Out Magazine - Just Jared Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry shared the same air and managed to not beat each other with pumpkins while doing so - ICYDK They should've went for ONE more drink - OMG Blog South Park perfectly captures the divine grace of Honey Boo Boo Chile and Mama June - SOW AJ Johnson should replace that cap with a helmet if she knows what's good for her - Crunk + Disordelry JLo's forehead rises - I'm Not Obsessed Okay, whatever, but for why does Scott Stapp look like he just fell off the face of a Garbage Pail Kids card? - Videogum The other day I was watching some crap on the local news about how iPhone theft is on the rise and then I see this story about how Lindsay Lohan is snatching away people's phones for taking pictures of her. A total coincidence I'm sure. - I'm Not Obsessed | |
| Open Post: Hosted By Basement Baby's New Video | Top |
| Beyonce is too busy supervising the making of a dozen unicorn mane lace fronts for baby Cerulean Bougainvillea that she doesn't have time to entertain the masses, so she accidentally left open the basement door and this is what happened after. Solange ran away to Cape Town to make a video for her new song "Losing You" which sort of sounds like a Stacey Q b-side from the late 80s. I tried to get into this, but I had to stop, drop and roll out of the room at the 1:15 mark when Basement Baby did a lukewarm version of the Girl, You Know It's True dance. Girl, you know I CAN'T! I'm done with this for the day and will try to watch all of this again tomorrow. Hopefully, they will scrub away those moves by then. via Gawker | |
| George Clooney Is Totally Over Stacy Keibler | Top |
Above is George Clooney making the same "Take your final bow, ho, because the curtain's coming down" pose he will make when he officially dumps Stacy Keibler any day now. Last month, George Clooney's rep let out a bunch of no no nos on the rumor that a bunch of workers barged into Stacy's bedroom at his Italian villa, picked her up, threw her into one of those portable moving PODS and shipped her ass back to Los Angeles. But George's rep could've just been pulling our dicks (which would be SHOCKING since publicists never do that), because the NYDN says that Stacy is just days away from waking up to find a pink slip on the pillow next to her. A source type says that Stacy still shows up to events, but she keeps her lips shut about all things Clooney and she constantly checks her phone to see if he's texted or called her. Stacy's got the nervous shakes most bitches get when they know they're about to get dumped. The source put it like this:
Now I know how a carton of milk feels when I open up the refrigerator door and peek at its expiration date. Stacy should've seen this coming. Just a few weeks ago she was trying on engagement rings. ENGAGEMENT RINGS! Nothing breaks George Clooney's boner like the m word, engagement rings and going straight to voicemail when he calls his soulmate Brad Pitt. When you're humping on George Clooney full-time and you do anything wedding related, you should know that on the next Friday morning (they always fire you on a Friday morning), you'll be called into his office manager's cubicle and told that it's just not working out. You'll have to hand over the copy of the key he gave you to his dildo closet and you'll be given a fair severance package before the office manager hands you a Kleenex, because your chocha will cry thinking about how the next dick it touches might belong to Steve-O. | |
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