The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- Birthday Sluts
- Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess
- Sahara Davenport Died Of Heart Failure
- Afternoon Crumbs
- The CAPTION THIS Contest For October 3rd!
- Lisa Turtle Is Bipolar, So Says Her Mom
- Open Post: Hosted By Terrence Howard And Oprah
- What Happens When Cameron Diaz And Terry Richardson Get Together
- Eric Johnson Might've Cheated On Jessica Simpson With His Ex-Wife
- Richard Belzer Gives Nazi Salute To Fox News
| Birthday Sluts | Top |
Jackie Collins (75) | |
| Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess | Top |
Who is the super-hip reality star flaunting a sizzling lesbian affair with her producer and gushing to cast mates that the romance is her ticket to network sitcom? (National Enquirer via Blind Gossip)
A visitor to a film set brought their dog with them. One of the lead actors (who is very well-known) chatted briefly with the dog owner, whom he had previously met. The actor told the visitor that he actually owned a similar dog years ago, and that he really missed her. When the dog owner received a phone call requiring them to leave the set, our actor volunteered to watch the dog. The delighted dog owner accepted the offer and promised to return in about an hour. They were actually gone about twenty minutes. When they returned, they were told that the actor had gone to his trailer, and had taken the dog with him. The dog owner went to the trailer and, amused to hear the actor talking to the dog, opened the door without knocking. They found the actor naked and erect behind the dog. The actor quickly covered up, muttering some sort of excuse. The horrified dog owner grabbed the dog and left. The actor has since contacted the dog owner twice to offer compensation in exchange for their silence. (Blind Gossip)
This B list actress from a very hit cable show says everything is fine in her not very long marriage. Then, why is everything being packed up from her home while she is on a press tour? He can't handle her fame. He is insecure and jealous and has found someone else. Our actress just closes her eyes and wants it to go away and for everything to be perfect. (CDAN)
This teenage reality star has to be chaperoned when she sees her celebrity boyfriend because the last few times they have been alone together they have made it very clear they have a sexual relationship and her mom is freaked out about her getting pregnant. Way more concerned about image and brand than her daughter. She should be concerned about the photos and chats she has with her boyfriend while he is on the road. When he is not sleeping with other fans. (CDAN)
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| Sahara Davenport Died Of Heart Failure | Top |
Sahara Davenport (born name: Antoine Ashley) of RuPaul's Drag Race flew up to heaven on the wings of his wig on Monday and his mother wrote on his Facebook page that he passed away from heart failure at John Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, Maryland. Sahara's mother says he was 27 years old. Sahara's partner in glitter and everything else, Manila Luzon from RuPaul's Drag Race season 3, also released a statement on his Facebook page:
Sahara's Facebook page has information about a public memorial and where to send donation to his mother for funeral services. I hope that Sahara wore that ensemble in the picture above for her trip to heaven, because Jesus, God and all the saints need to see a tuck tool that also creates a double camel toe. They just need to see it up close. | |
| Afternoon Crumbs | Top |
Jon Hamm's peen makes an encore appearance and I hope this leads to a multi-episode arch on Mad Men - The Superficial Elizabeth Hurley >>>>>>>> Lady CaCa - Lainey Gossip Tyler Shields' photo shoots always look like the fourth place winner at a community college photography show and this shoot with the cast of Revenge is no exception - The Berry Maria Menonous is totally thinking to herself, "If I get close enough to Cynthia Nixon I might be able to smell Rojo Caliente's saliva." - Hollywood Tuna A horny DanRad looks sort of hot until I stare at it too long and start to see two lizard tails breaking into his forehead - Towleroad Well, we now know that The Lone Ranger people bought everything from the Wild, Wild West fire sale - Celebitchy Paz Vega wears an arm bra on GQ Mexico - Drunken Stepfather The Chipolte spotlight stealer wasn't shocked that Mitt Romney was actually posing with non-white people, he was just making his excited face - Buzzfeed And after Whole Foods, they drove to the free clinic so Minka Kelly could pick up some Valtrex for Chris Evans since she might've given him the gift Derek Jeter gave her - Popoholic Oh, so NOW Kelly Taylor wants her own life after stealing Brenda Walsh's? Interesting. - ICYDK David Beckham gives a bus full of star watchers a moon show (sort of) - Just Jared A trick who hasn't ever paid for her crimes wants another trick to pay for his crimes - IDLYITW Please don't tell me GOOPY wants to play Belinda Carlisle - OMG Blog So you know that friend you go to dinner with who takes FOREVER ordering and makes the server roll their eyes and shit? Mary's that friend - Videogum There's only one kind of pussy allowed in the strip club - Crunk + Disorderly This is how Xtina scrapes her make-up off every night - Cityrag | |
| The CAPTION THIS Contest For October 3rd! | Top |
via TDW | |
| Lisa Turtle Is Bipolar, So Says Her Mom | Top |
The entire Internet simultaneously shouted SANTO DIOS! this past May when Saved By The Bell's Lark Voorhies gave an interview with a whole lot of WTF smeared all over her face. It was obvious that something wasn't right and some speculated that snorting the wrong kind of illegal drug made her do herself up like a LeAnn Rimes impersonator on the white face circuit. But Lark's mother Tricia tells People (via Yahoo!) that her daughter isn't hooked on the bad shit. Lark suffers from mental health issues including bipolar disorder. Everything about that last sentence makes me want to gently chin hump a teddy bear while crying myself to sleep. Tricia says that even though Lark takes medication for her bipolar disorder, she doesn't want to get psychiatric help and hasn't exactly embraced finding the right treatment that works for her. Tricia wouldn't get into any details, but told People that Lark had a mental breakdown due to several traumatic experiences in her life. Lark's divorce from her husband in 2001 and her career not going anywhere after SBTB didn't help her mental situation. Nowadays, Lark lives with her mother in Pasadena, barely has any friends and doesn't really leave the house. People had to interview Lark twice, because the first time they talked to her she stopped talking mid-sentence, stared blankly into nothing and mumbled to herself and imaginary people. Basically, Lark went full Amanda Bynes. In the second interview, they asked Lark why she seemed out of and she said that she's very spiritual and they caught her in moments of prayer. Lark admitted to People that she hears voices in her head, but the doctors don't know what it is and can't treat it. "Over-loving" is what Lark called her mother and said that nobody needs to form a prayer circle around her, because she's fine. She's not sick and she's busy working on her music career and writing books. So let's recap: Lisa Turtle mumbles to herself, hears voices in her head, lives with her mother, never leaves the house and doesn't have any friends? Should my ass be worried, because that's basically me in two weeks. And like with most shitty things in life (including that brow situation), let's just blame all of this on Screech. Someone really needs to citizen's arrest his ass. | |
| Open Post: Hosted By Terrence Howard And Oprah | Top |
Here's Terrence Howard trying to sniff through the cigarette smoke-infused air to get to the sweet scent of Oprah's freshly baby wiped butt. There's a good reason for why Terrence Howard is making a sexy "Oh, I just wanna wipe up that butt baby-style" face and that's because he's shooting a love scene with The Mighty O. Oprah Instagram'd this picture of her and Terry on their last day of shooting Lee Daniels' The Butler. Oprah said that this was their "goodbye love scene." A tramped up Oprah and a slicked back Terry Howard getting on each other like that? Let's all join a weeping Gayle King in the corner, because this scares and hurts me too. via WOW Report | |
| What Happens When Cameron Diaz And Terry Richardson Get Together | Top |
Cameron Diaz tells Esquire UK (via Daily Mail) what every actress tells magazines: she LOVES getting older and she's never felt this good in her life and feels better at 40 than she did at 25. BLAH BLAH BLAH. If you don't believe Cameron, then spend some time with the exquisite portraits of subtle elegance that Terry Richardson took of her for the magazine. Nothing says confidence like squatting out an invisible turd while looking like a truck stop morning-shift stripper who gives her customers a handy behind the dumpster for a half pack of Kools. That last sentence was delivered with zero sarcasm, because a jean jacket paired with black garters is the perfect picture of class and confidence. Cameron also said a bunch of other things and I'd like to think she said them out loud while Terry Richardson was telling her to pop that pussy for his camera: Cameron says this about being 40: "For the first time in my life I'm content. I'm so excited. Getting older is the best part of life. Like, I know more than I've ever known." The pictures say: "Look at my ass! I'm 40!" Cameron says this about being 40. Yes, she's still talking about being 40: "I have gratitude. I know myself better. I feel more capable than ever. And as far as the physicality of it, I feel better at 40 than I did at 25." The pictures say: "You know you still want to fuck me! I'm 40!" Cameron says this about having kids: "There's still a possibility of that, I ain't that old. Believe it or not, I'm feeling very... capable." The pictures say: "You know you want to fuck a baby out of me! I'm 40!" Cameron says this about never getting married: "I'm smart! No, it's hard to say. It just wasn't the thing I was drawn to. I certainly didn't want it in my 20s. Or my 30s. So we'll see. I'd always wanted to get hitched in Vegas at least three times." The pictures say: "You know you want to fuck me three times in Vegas! I'm 40!" Cameron says this about being all-natural: "There's no such thing as anti-aging. You can't go back in time. So for me, it's about living in this moment, the best that I can. Contentment is about coming to terms with life as it is." The pictures say: "Look at my hot, sexy plastic titty balls! I'm 40!" So in case you didn't get the message: Cameron Diaz is still hot and she's such a lady that she farts out the words "style & substance." We get it, Cameron. | |
| Eric Johnson Might've Cheated On Jessica Simpson With His Ex-Wife | Top |
Long before Eric Johnson's sole job was to wrap cooked corndog breading around his peen and let Jessica Simpson eat it off, he was a pro football player who was married to Keri Johnson. After Eric's NFL career ended and his marriage to Keri started circling the drain, he instantly won the gold digger lottery when Jessica Simpson decided she wanted to eat his big sausage pizza all day, every day. When life hands a gold digger lemons, that gold digger needs to turns those lemons in MONAAAAAY. The gold digger needs to focus on his mark and shoo away any coochies that may keep him away from his goal. But that's not what Eric Johnson's skeezy dumb ass did. A source tells Radar that when Eric was with Jessica, he was still laying his peen on his ex-wife's vagine. Keri thought that their break would make their marriage stronger, but Eric was only interested in making his checking account stronger by humping on Jessica. The source thinks that he'll step out on Jessica again:
Bitch better not do it again. That would be a terrible gold digger fail. If you blindfolded Jessica and made her sniff a can of Chicken of the Sea and a can of StarKist, she wouldn't smell the difference. That's a good thing for Eric, because Jessica will never be able to smell the difference between her cooch juices and some random cooch juices, but still. If it wasn't for Jessica, Eric probably would've had to drop out of Wharton, because he couldn't afford it and he'd be working as a stock boy at a sporting goods store. Eric has it good and in the wise words of RuPaul, "Don't fuck it up." | |
| Richard Belzer Gives Nazi Salute To Fox News | Top |
| Actor, foolery maker and comedian Richard Belzer was on Fox 5's Good Day New York today, which is sort of surprising since I can't believe they have time to interview guests in between giving us the weather every 3 seconds. But anyway, they had Richard Belzer on to talk about Law & Order: SVU and stuff, and who ever is in charge of hitting the bleep button nearly had an aneurysm in their censorin' finger when he started making jokes about ass rape. Richard also topped his ass rape joke by giving out a special "Heil, gurl, Heil" to Fox News. The ridiculousness started when one viewer said that Good Day New York's co-host Dave Price looks like a clone of Richard Belzer. (Side note: I definitely have different eyeballs than that viewer, because I don't see it at all. Richard Belzer looks more like a mix of white Obama and a scholarly Galapagos turtle to me.) Co-host Rosanna Scotto said that Dave should play Richard's brother on SVU and Richard responded with: "If he gets molested and banged in the ass." The side-eyes and nervous laughs from the hosts was Richard Belzer's cue to say goodbye, so he did it by making the Nazi salute for Dave and Rosanna's colleagues at the other Fox division. Richard's rep told TMZ that it was all just a joke: "[It was] satirical gesture toward Fox News ... whose ideology he is opposed to. The other portion was a joke pertaining to the material of Richard's TV show, which he tweaked at the last minute to make about furniture. A joke is a joke." What an irresponsible, stupid and dangerous thing to do! If Mad Mel Gibson was watching with the sound off and didn't know Richard Belzer was Jewish, he'd want to bang Richard in the ass before Jacuzzi. In this day and age, the Nazi salute is also sign language for "Please bang me in the ass before Jacuzzi, Mel Gibson." Richard should know better. For shame. | |
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