The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- Drew Barrymore's Baby Makes Her Magazine Cover Debut
- Anne Hathaway Is Sad About The Paps Taking A Picture Of Her Crotch
- Hef Gave Crystal Harris Another Diamond Ring She Can Pawn Later For Rent Money
- The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For December 11th!
- Hot Slut Of The Day!
- Birthday Sluts
- Justin Bieber Is A Squirter
- Mimi And Nick Cannon Do Each Other While Listening To Her Songs
- Afternoon Crumbs
- Open Post: Hosted By The Spice Girls (Minus Posh)
| Drew Barrymore's Baby Makes Her Magazine Cover Debut | Top |
Thank our current reigning God, Bea Arthur, that the celebrity trend of debuting their baby's face on InstaWitter, FaceGram or TwitBook FOR FREE is temporarily over and celebrities are back to showing off their baby on the cover of a weekly magazine. Drew Barrymore waited 9 weeks until she put her daughter Olive in front of People's cameras, because that's usually when a newborn baby doesn't look like an adorable bag of wet yams anymore. Drew also talked to People and said stuff about being a mom for the first time: On how being a new mom made her so nervous that she went on the Anne Hathaway Oscar diet for two weeks: "I couldn't eat or sleep for two weeks, I was just so nervous!" On how she's obsessed with her baby and is pretty much stalking her: "It's like the biggest crush I've ever had in my life!" On how raising a baby is a helluva drug: "You have the highest highs and yet you're facing the biggest fear of, 'How do I keep someone alive?'" Drew Barrymore brings up a seriously good point that I've never thought about. I'm afraid of having chirruns, because most of them are greedy, shifty and it's all about them. I mean, some nights you just want to be left alone with your bottle of vodka and they're crying for food, love and human attention and all that. But I never thought about it the way Drew thinks about it. You have to keep them alive too! Babies are like a real-life Tamagotchi. You have to give them food and attention AND you have to keep them alive. Raising a baby IS hard. | |
| Anne Hathaway Is Sad About The Paps Taking A Picture Of Her Crotch | Top |
At the NYC premiere of Les Miserables on Monday night, Anne Hathaway accidentally gave the paps a pubic hair show (Side note: Bronner Brothers should really do an International Pubic Hair Show) when she had a wardrobe malfunction while slipping out of her SUV. The pictures ended up everywhere. They even ended up in Matt Lauer's inbox, but that's mostly because he has a Google Alert set up for "Anne Hathaway coochie pictures." Anne was on Today (via Jezebel) this morning to talk about Les Miserables, and Matt Lauer started their interview by saying, "We've seen a lot of you lately..." Matt then asked Anne about those SANS CHONIES pictures and I thought she was going to say that she was actually wearing custom-made Tom Ford pubic hair panties, but instead she said that it makes her sad knowing that we live in a world where pieces of trash sell pictures like that and bigger pieces of trash post them on their piece of trash websites (Why is everyone looking at me?!). Here's Anne's response:
Anne also told The NY Daily News that her dress was so tight and she was so busy with trying to get out of the SUV that she didn't realize half of her crotch fluff was showing. Anne said, "It was devastating. They saw everything. I might as well have lifted up my skirt for them." You know, if none of us wore panties then we'd all flash each other all the time and it wouldn't be such a scandal or shock anytime someone's genital bush made an appearance out in public. We should all unite with Anne Hathaway by burning all of our chonies and we should all go panty-less in public all the time. That's what we should do! You go first, Hugh Jackman.... Here's Anne and Hugh (wearing way too much underwear) at The Museum of Moving Images Salute to Hugh Jackman in NYC last night. | |
| Hef Gave Crystal Harris Another Diamond Ring She Can Pawn Later For Rent Money | Top |
Crystal Harris' last diamond engagement ring that Hugh Hefner gave her ended up on someone else's finger after she auctioned it off for $38,000 (it cost $90,000) and now here's the latest diamond ring that'll end up in a pawn shop dealer's hand in a few months when her marriage ends and she can't make the payment on her leased Mercedes. Since Hef can barely remember what flavor of Snack Pack pudding he had for breakfast, he doesn't remember that Crystal left him sitting on his Hoveround at the altar and then sold her engagement ring to Christie's. He probably thinks she's new here. So they're getting married on New Year's Eve and she flaunted her new gold digger prize on Twitter yesterday! ROMANCE! The ring is as tacky as her white and pink French manicure, but at least it's big and shiny. It gives Crystal something to ooooh and aaaaah at when Hef's comatose caterpillar dick slips out of her and two nurses have to resuscitate it with two tiny defibrillator pads before shoving it back in her coochie. I've thrown hate at Crystal before for being a failure of a gold digger, but maybe I was wrong and she's really pulling a genius scheme. Hef is notorious for giving his whores only two confederate coins for allowance and the last time he was going to marry Crystal, he made her sign a serious prenup, so a gold digger has to get that money one way or another. So maybe Crystal won't show up to the wedding AGAIN and in a couple of months, she'll sashay back into the Playboy Mansion. By that time Hef would've forgotten about their last engagement, so he'll propose again and give her another diamond ring. Crystal will keep doing that until she's got half of Hef's fortune in her gold digger wheelbarrow. Crystal should open up her own pawn shop, so she can cut out the middle man. #getthoseengagementringsbitch via People | |
| The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For December 11th! | Top |
Please consult your physician or snake charmer if you have an erection that has not been seen in over 30 years. - dmoney Runners-up: ......said no one, ever. - SANS FARDS Unintended side effect: May summon a Courtney Stodden to your bed instead of awaking your trouser snake. - skabazzle via Izismile | |
| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
The huge ass duck that terrorized the Thamesin London. Jackpotyjoy.com, an online casino based in the UK, started a foundation called the FUNdation, which gives money to people who have good ideas to make hos laugh. To launch FUNdation they sent a gigantic rubber ducky down the river. It took 8 people 800 hours to cut and wield parts for the floating rubber ducky. The managing director of Jackpotyjoy says that British people laugh an average of 7.2 times a day and psychologists think that one of the keys to staying healthy and sane is to laugh at least 15 times a day. Jackpotyjoy could've just paid Lindsay Lohan a pack of Reds and a half-bottle of Jack to make people HAHA out of their minds by telling one of her signature excuses of delusion, but they went with a floating ducky instead. The managing director of Jackpoytjoy explained it like this to The Daily Mail:
You know what would really make me laugh? If Prince Hot Ginge tickled my armpit with his royal peen. Make this happen, FUNdation! And I don't know if I'd laugh if I saw a Khloe Kardashian-sized rubbery ducky floating down the river, but I would wonder if I accidentally swallowed a tab of acid instead of my daily Vitamin C pill. Again. | |
| Birthday Sluts | Top |
Mayim Bialik (37) | |
| Justin Bieber Is A Squirter | Top |
Justin Bieber kept collecting credits toward his degree in douchebaggery yesterday when he left a store in Miami and launched a premeditated water bottle attack on the paparazzi. Now the paparazzi know how Selena Gomez felt when she changed Justin Bieber's nappy and he pissed out a diaper geyser right into her face. It's hard out there for a millionaire toddler, so right before he came out of the store, Justin unscrewed a water bottle and then threw all of it at the paps. LITTER BITCH! Why didn't Bette Middler pop out of a nearby recycling can, chase Justin down and spank the toddler snot out of him for littering? Then she should've kept spanking his ass for sticking his legs in the sleeves of an upside down sweater and wearing that shit like it's pants. The sad thing is, Justin really thinks he's the hardest gangbanger baby in the game. Will somebody please throw him in a playpen with Latarian Milton so he can learn once and for all who the true Hood Rat Stuff leader is. | |
| Mimi And Nick Cannon Do Each Other While Listening To Her Songs | Top |
Nick Cannon was on Howard Stern's Sirius show this morning and this is what we learned about his fuck life with the butterfly rainbow queen of the lambs herself Mimi: - Nick Cannon and Mimi kept their panties on while dating. Mimi never hit that shit before they got married. The furthest they got was second base. Nick never fingered her butterfly box and she never took his peen for a test drive. When Howard asked Nick how could he marry Mariah Carey without knowing if she's good at giving blow jobs, he said something like, "She's Mariah Carey! I just knew she's good!" I don't know what that means. Porn star Mary Carey is known for sucking dick the right way, but I didn't know Mariah Carey was too. Maybe what Nick Cannon means is that since Mimi is a champion yodeler, she must be a champion beej giver too. When she puts a peen in her mouth and lets out one of her garage door-opening yodels, the vibrations hit the right spot so hard that the dude cums his ballsack out. That's probably what he means. - Nick Cannon and Mimi bump genitals to her songs all the time. Nick told Howard that his sex time soundtrack of choice is filled with nothing but Mimi songs. This actually isn't surprising. What Nick didn't tell Howard is that Mimi also makes him wear a Mariah Carey mask and they do it on a bedspread with her face airbrushed on it. There's mirrors covering every wall in the room and right before they get it on, she sticks a multi-colored glitter pill in his peen hole so that he cums a sparkly rainbow. And I don't even want to get into what they do with the hoards of butterflies she keeps in cages down in the basement. - Nick Cannon is so excited about being married to Mariah Carey that when she's gone, he faps to her songs. Nick's favorite song to hand hug his dick to is "Hero." That actually makes sense. Because every time Nick listens to a Mariah Carey song, he thinks of all the millions she's made from that song and then he thinks about all the millions that's in their joint bank account. When you listen to "Hero," you hear "AHAHAHAAAAOOOOOHA HAOHAHAAAAOOORRRHHAA" and Nick hears, "cha-ching cha-ching cha-ching." That's definitely a sound to fap to. And can we retire "Hero" forever now that we have the image of Nick Cannon fingering his b-hole and squeezing his foreskin to the lyric "look inside you and be strong"? Here's a clip from TMZ of Nick telling Howard all about his and Mimi's kinky fetishes: | |
| Afternoon Crumbs | Top |
It only took the help of a few animals wranglers, but Tom Hardy finally tamed and manicured the wild beast on his face - Lainey Gossip Judging by the trailer for Man of Steel, I'm guessing you're supposed to watch the new emo-esque Superman movie while listening to the Morrissey album of your choice - The Superficial Factice Magazine didn't get any shot of Kim Kardashian's ass, because they couldn't afford to Photoshop the "Made in Indonesia by Mattel" stamp she's got on her butt cheek - Hollywood Tuna Doogie Howser is allergic to beaver - Towleroad Too much beige, too much boring and too much camel toe for one cover - Celebitchy Erin Heatherton seems really excited about being in a bikini - Drunken Stepfather If Hilary Duff walks to her car and the paps aren't there to capture the moment, did Hilary Duff really walk to her car? - Popoholic Lindsay Lohan gets more money from Charlie Sheen than little girls with cancer do - IDLYITW It's nice to see that the Jackson 5's old costumes were put to good use - OMG Blog Speaking of stealing the Jackson 5's old costumes.... - Just Jared Ashley Olsen almost DIED the other day, or something - Popsugar Meet the newest and most talented Tampa Bay Buccaneers cheerleader - The Berry Hopefully The Longer Ranger is the last nail in the coffin holding all of Johnny Depp's makeup, so he'll never paint his face white for a movie again - SOW Kate Upton is everywhere else so she might as well be on Vogue - Hollywood Rag Wonky McValtrex should be fed to Mama June's chins for wearing a slutty Honey Boo Boo costume - Cityrag The time I mistook Cher for Pete Burns - I'm Not Obsessed Burrito Surprise sounds like the name of a sex act I don't want to know about - Videogum Pamela Anderson needs to hit Charlie Sheen up - Celebslam | |
| Open Post: Hosted By The Spice Girls (Minus Posh) | Top |
Musicals on the West End in London are usually better than musicals on Broadway. First case in point: I paid 25 pounds to see Desperately Seeking the Musical, which used the songs of Blondie. It was a disaster. It was like watching shit dry on a strobe light and I'd pay 250 pounds to watch it again. Second case in point: Tonight on the West End, the Spice Girls musical Viva Forever! opened. Edina Monsoon wrote the book for Viva Forever! and it uses a bunch of Spice Girls songs to tell the story of a girl named Viva (HAHAHA) and her best friends "who get swept up in the obsession of today's TV celebrity culture." This needs to come to America now! But since I live in L.A. now, I'll be lucky if Viva Forever! comes to a community theater in Thousand Oaks in 2026. Anyway, Viva Forever! opened tonight and Scary, Ginger, Baby and Sporty all posed on the red carpet together. Posh let the lessers of the group have their cute moment in front of the cameras before she showed up late and posed with her family and her fan instead. I love how Posh looks like she just came from her office job and the other Spice Girls look like they've been waiting for this forever. Posh being underdressed is her way of letting you know that she doesn't give a shit shit (not that she does shit) and she's just there because the contract she signed told her she had to be. | |
CREATE MORE ALERTS:
Auctions - Find out when new auctions are posted
Horoscopes - Receive your daily horoscope
Music - Get the newest Album Releases, Playlists and more
News - Only the news you want, delivered!
Stocks - Stay connected to the market with price quotes and more
Weather - Get today's weather conditions
| You received this email because you subscribed to Yahoo! Alerts. Use this link to unsubscribe from this alert. To change your communications preferences for other Yahoo! business lines, please visit your Marketing Preferences. To learn more about Yahoo!'s use of personal information, including the use of web beacons in HTML-based email, please read our Privacy Policy. Yahoo! is located at 701 First Avenue, Sunnyvale, CA 94089. |
No comments:
Post a Comment