The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- Open Post: Hosted By Soy Jizzum
- Two Gorgeous Rich People Broke Up
- XXXtina's Ho Shit Extravaganza
- The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For April 29th!
- Hot Slut Of The Day!
| Open Post: Hosted By Soy Jizzum | Top |
| Thanks to Rosanna Scotto of Fox5 in NYC, today's phrase that pays is: SOY JIZZUM ! Try using it in a sentence today. Example: When your abuelita asks you how you're doing, simply say, " SOY JIZZUM! " Or don't. That might be awkward. In other news, the open post is going up early today because I have to run my dog to the vet. Dude has got the ills. He didn't eat anything yesterday and that is saying everything. Unlike me, he will eat a vegetable if I put it under his mouth. But when I tried to give him a piece of turkey last night, he threw me shade. And he's been crying in pain all morning. I shouldn't have read him that story about the memaw fucking on her grandson . He will never be the same again. Anyway, I'll be back! (Thanks to everyone who sent this in) | |
| Two Gorgeous Rich People Broke Up | Top |
| Halle Berry has reportedly been ejected from the 24-hour hot piece ride named Gabriel Aubry . Radar has it on good authority that Gabriel pink-slipped Halle after 5 years, because he didn't feel the relationship was working anymore. A source says that Halle and Gabriel have already worked out a custody deal. They will share custody of their 2-year-old daughter Nahla and Gabriel will walk away without a cent from Halle. Uh huh. The source says that they broke up months ago, because Gabriel's peen started to get the fever for other women. The source explains, " When they were first together the 9-year age difference between them didn't phase him, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever dated and he was totally in love. But as time went on he started feeling it more and more. Also, Gabriel started noticing other women, and being attracted to other, and he felt it just wasn't right to stay with Halle in those circumstances. Gabriel is a really nice, decent guy and he would never cheat on her, but I suspect that he had become attracted to someone and that he felt he needed to break it off with Halle before anything developed any further. " Gabriel has a face and body that can launch a thousand genitals into a sea of crotch milk, but he's kind of simple in the brains, right? Just because your dick gets a craving for a different flavor of snatch doesn't mean you're a cheater. It means you're fucking human! Even if I was Mr. Mah Boo Anderson Cooper, I would still perk up when a hot piece strolled by. Did I just type that out loud? I didn't mean that, Mah Boo! I would never wink at another. Well, unless Rojo Caliente and Carrot Top merged into one person. But only then! However, at least Gabriel told Halle to git gone before his peen joined the manwhore parade. If you're going to do it, that is how you do it (I'm staring at you Vanilla Gorilla and Tiger). | |
| XXXtina's Ho Shit Extravaganza | Top |
| If Vadge's " Express Yourself" video and a remake of her " Human Nature " video done by round-the-way trannies borrowed Lady Caca's prosthetic penis to fuck each other in the Showgirls costume closet, it would look just like Xtina's " Not Myself Tonight " video. Watch as Xtina thumps, bumps and sluts her way to the middle! It's a good thing MTV doesn't play music videos anymore, because if they did they could never show this. On the other hand, Spice Xcess TV will be playing this video on a loop. So will Vanilla Gorilla. Although, he's going to watch it while blasting " Heil Hitler Marschlied. " Since Xtina is parading around like a foolish skank ho who will hump on anything but dignity....I LOVE THIS! When all else fails, do ho shit in a church. This is Pope Eggs Benedict approved! | |
| The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For April 29th! | Top |
| Do you Mr. McGee take Ms. Bombshell to be your lawfully wedded bitch ho? - " Heil" And do you Ms. Bombsell take Mr. Neo Nazi to be your lawfully wedded hate monger? - "Heil" You may slap the bride........ - fleawatch Runners-up: Vanilla Gorilla decided it's not so bad if he marries all his hos. - moistiest What happens at Seth Green's Wedding, Stays at Seth Green's Wedding - nclgemini With record sales at an all-time low, Xtina moonlights as a wedding planner. - sonah22 Thanks Tenley | |
| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
| La Duquesa de Alba or as her close friends call her, Doña Maria del Rosario Cayetana Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Francisca Fitz-James Stuart y Silv! Curtsy, motherfuckers! Because you are in the presence of true Spanish royalty! Doña Maria is the current reigning Duchess of Alba and head of the House of Alba. No wonder Jessica Alba always looks like Oscar the Grouch farted in her face. It's because she knows that there's a hotter Alba on this planet that she will never EVER be able to touch. Stay mad, Jessica. Anybody who has " James Stuart (close enough to Stewart)" in their full name is a wonderful guardian angel! Every time a bell rings, La Duquesa de Alba just queefed. Here's more pictures of the gloriously radiant Doña Maria. If Baby Jane was a Klingon..... | |
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