The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Lady Gaga Is Prejudiced Against Drunks! | Top |
| Lady Gaga celebrated the 25th anniversary of the day music industry witch doctors successfully brought her to life using one of Madonna's hemorrhoids by throwing herself a party at La Cita Bar in Los Angeles. For whatever reason, she didn't put Adam Lambert's name on the guest list. But UsWeekly says that didn't stop Glamberace and his Swedish piece Sauli Koskinen (seen below struttin' their asses down the boulevard) from crashing that shit so hard that Lady Gargamel's tuck came undone and delivered a wave of hisses his way. The Shel Silverstein of our time Perez Hilton, who was there, told Morning Dish that Glamberace was already Amish teen drunk when he arrived as a guest of the Scissor Sisters. Drunkerace immediately annoyed everyone by fist-pumping into an imaginary anus in the air and jumping on tables. At one point, he punched a hole into the ceiling. One witness type who was also there added, " Adam acted like an animal. He kept jumping up on the tables and chairs and screaming. When they brought the cake out he tried to smear it in Gaga's face and put a doll from the cake in her mouth! " Caca smears grenadine blood on her body and bites off Barbie heads in her show, but she doesn't get into that shit off stage so she ordered security to put Glamberace on the curb, which they did. This is the first time I've ever been sexually attracted to Adam Lambert. Who knew it would take him ruining Caca's party. This also leaves me disappointed in Caca. She's always preaching about accepting others who are different than you no matter. Cholas, oriental rugs, Klingons, etc... We're all in this together. But what about the drunks?! We can't help that we were #drunkthisway and sometimes punch holes in ceilings and act the fool. It's in our nature! You'd think out of everyone on this planet, Caca would be the one who would accept us. Sad. The only way she can right this wrong is by releasing a drunk bitch version of " Born This Way " and donate all proceeds to the drunks of the world. E-mail your PayPal information to Lady Gaga NOW! | |
| Lindsay Lohan Is A Sober Klutz | Top |
| You've been waiting for it (not really) and it's finally here: Lindsay Lohan's excuse for why she hit the sidewalk in front of NYC's Motor City Bar at 2:30 in the morning . LiLo, whose everyday is April Fool's, didn't say that she has found Allah and was simply praying right there on the sidewalk. LiLo also didn't say that Michael Lohan must've rubbed his voodoo tits together sending an evil spirit to push her on the street. And she didn't says somebody slipped a weight into her coat. Nope. LiLo announced through Twitter , Facebook and TMZ that Jack Daniels didn't push her off the wagon, because she didn't drink. LiLo is simply a klutz. A tornado of whiskey-scented delusion rose above LiLo when she quivered the fat colon tubes on her mouth about how the media continues to twist things around to make her look like a messy messy drunk. LiLo started her " I don't even know what liquor smells like " tour by typing this out on Twitter: " funny how making a joke can turn into.... well, me falling and a story.. #twisted." Then she went over to TMZ and said this: " I was NOT drinking, nor do I drink! I was with my brother, sister and friends. I was making a joke. They're trying to make something out of nothing. Just because I'm out doesn't mean I'm drinking ." Yes, I'm jealous that 17-year-old Ali Lohan is partying in a NYC bar at 2 in the morning on a homeschool night. And yes, I believe LiLo (no, I don't). If your lips were stuffed with 50lbs of delusion gel, you'd lose your balance and bust a BAM on the sidewalk too. Here's a few pictures of Lindsay Soberhan at a screening for Source Code in NYC last night. I see that Butch Crackidy is back to her hold thieving tricks! I'm talking about that fur she's wearing. A fur that rightfully belongs to Kingston Rossdale ! Taking fur from a baby? A new low...han. | |
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