The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Gabriel Aubry Has The Sads | Top |
| Gabriel Aubry issued a statement last night confirming that he is no longer doing the nekkid Halle Berry dance on Halle Berry. Sad, right? It's sad because he didn't issue the statement in front of a video camera while lounging nekkid ass nekkid on a bear rug in front of a roaring fire with a rose between his peen lips. That's the saddest part of all. Here's Gabriel's statement : "While I will not comment on all of the wild inaccuracies being speculated about in the media, I am sad to say that Halle and I have decided together to separate at this time. She is, and will forever be, one of the most special and beautiful people that I have ever known, and I am certain that we will continue to have only love and respect for one another." What he's really trying to say is that their relationship could've been saved if only they knew about the Better Marriage Blanket months ago. Pretty people always cut the deadliest ass queefs. Anyway, here's Halle Berry mending her broken heart while holding on to the hand a hot piece in NYC last night. Dude could be her bodyguard, but she has a look on her face like she can't wait to get home and open up her present. Nothing seals the cracks of a broken heart like peen glue. | |
| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
| The Better Marriage Blanket ! Are the flatulence molecules from your partner's farts eating away at your marriage and causing you to reach for divorce papers? Well, you might as well draw up those papers, because your ass deserves to be alone if you can't handle a little heat under your nostrils. But before you do that, there might be answer to all your problems. It's The Better Marriage Blanket! From their " official " website: The Better Marriage Blanket is made using the same kind of activated carbon fabric found in Military Chemical Suits. As a science teacher, I had used activated carbon in my laboratory lessons and was aware that chemicals and gasses are absorbed in millions of microscopic pores in each tiny particle of activated carbon. (See "The Blanket"). This principal is what makes The Blanket so effective! Activated Carbon is well known in Science and Industry for its odor absorbing properties. It is safe and non-allergenic. Somebody throw a Better Marriage Blanket over that description, because it reeks like bullshit in a sauna. But let's play along anyways! So basically, the BM Blanket is kind of like a Snuggie, but instead of keeping you warm, it hugs a fart and smothers that shit air until its dead. That way you won't murder your fuck partner's asshole in the middle of the night. If only they made a version for dogs, because that is the real dark-sided shit right there. via Videogum ( Thanks Nancy ) | |
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