The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Worst Trip Of All Time | Top |
| When you're tripping out on shrooms, you're supposed to hold long deep conversations with potted plants about the meaning of life and spend hours petting an imaginary purple kitten in the sky. You're not supposed to do what MMA fighter Jarrod Wyatt did to his sparring partner. The NYDN reports that on March 21st, 26-year-old Jarrod allegedly cut an 18-inch hole into Taylor Powell's chest, pulled out his heart and then cut up his tongue and face. Both Jarrod and Taylor were high on shroom tea at the time. And I thought my hallucination about tiny chickens invading my brain through my ear holes was a bad trip. When the police showed up to the home in Klamath, CA and found Taylor's body, Jarrod told them that he saw the devil in his face. Jarrod thought that the world was about to end and he needed to murder the evil. Jarrod also admitted to cooking up Taylor's body parts in a wood stove, because he believed it was the only way to " stop the devil. " At one point, Jarrod asked the police if they were God coming to save him. Jarrod was charged with aggravated mayhem, torture and first-degree murder. Jarrod's lawyer is fighting the charges, because he argued this his client was having a psychotic breakdown. His lawyer added, " My client was trying to silence the devil ." Anybody who has heard a Ke$ha song knows what the devil's cackle sounds like, but you don't cut out someone's heart over it. Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other). And it's unclear whether or not he was on shrooms at the time he got that haircut. | |
| Al & Tipper Gore Broke Up! | Top |
| Al & Tipper Gore , who practically dry humped each other throughout his campaign, have announced that they are going their separate ways after 40 years together. Those of you who had all your money on Hillary putting Bill on the curb first just lost! Politico says that Al and Tipper announced they were quitting each other via this e-mail: "We are announcing today that after a great deal of thought and discussion, we have decided to separate. This is very much a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together following a process of long and careful consideration. We ask for respect for our privacy and that of our family, and we do not intend to comment further." Tipper was probably sick of lying in bed alone at home while Al was off masturbating all over his whores (aka Global Warming, the Internet, Gaia, etc...). It won't be long before that homewrecking whore Global Warming is on The Insider crying about how she didn't intend to hurt anyone. And don't be surprised when you read about Al's sext messages to Gaia in Life & Style. The silver lining is that Al Gore can now shake his ass to 2 Live Crew in peace. | |
CREATE MORE ALERTS:
Auctions - Find out when new auctions are posted
Horoscopes - Receive your daily horoscope
Music - Get the newest Album Releases, Playlists and more
News - Only the news you want, delivered!
Stocks - Stay connected to the market with price quotes and more
Weather - Get today's weather conditions
| You received this email because you subscribed to Yahoo! Alerts. Use this link to unsubscribe from this alert. To change your communications preferences for other Yahoo! business lines, please visit your Marketing Preferences. To learn more about Yahoo!'s use of personal information, including the use of web beacons in HTML-based email, please read our Privacy Policy. Yahoo! is located at 701 First Avenue, Sunnyvale, CA 94089. |
No comments:
Post a Comment