The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Sandy From Melrose Place Is Probably Going To Prison | Top |
| Remember Sandy from the first season of the original Melrose Place (eff me in my colostomy bag hole, I'm old)? Sandy was the Southern trick who was trying to be an actress when she wasn't trying to get a piece of Jake's crotch? Sandy was replaced by that lesbian (you know she was and still is) Jo after only 13 episodes. Amy Locane, the actress who played Sandy and was also in Cry Baby , went to act in a bunch of movies you've never heard of well. Well, Amy is under the spotlight once again! Specifically, under a spotlight in the interrogation room at the Somerset County Police Department in New Jersey. You see, Amy was arrested last night in Montgomery, N.J. and charged with second-degree vehicular homicide. The L.A. Times reports that Amy's Chevy Tahoe crashed into the side of another car as it was trying to turn into a driveway. The passenger of that car was pronounced dead at the scene. The driver was flown to a hospital and is listed in critical condition. Earlier in the night, Amy rear-ended a different car. As the driver of the car called the police, Amy got into her car and drove out of there. The driver followed Amy and witnessed her knocking over several mailboxes. Amy later told police that she sucked down several glasses of wine before she got into the car. The officers at the scene said she was slurring her words and had glassy eyes. Amy's bail was set at $50,000. If convicted of the charges, she faces up to 10 years in the clink. The law states that Amy would have to serve 85% of the term without parole. Amy has two kids and is married to a LIQUOR STORE OWNER (that deserves all caps). If Amy was busted in California, they'd only sentence her to 60 days without highlights and tanning. But since this is going down in New Jersey, bitch's next role will probably be playing Jane in the women's prison production of Melrose Place: The Musical . Hey, at least she's playing Jane. That's an upgrade. | |
| So This Happened Last Night Too | Top |
| While Chris Brown and company were spreading thick layers of ultra concentrated foolery all over BET last night, Marie Osmond and friends were doing the same at the Daytime Emmy Awards on CBS. The Daytime Emmys are the Emmys' slightly slower younger sister who has been banished to the attic where she inhales fiber glass dust and puts on slightly pornographic plays for her sock doll friends. So when they let her out of the house, it's a mess! She licks the neighbors' windows, gets in fights with fire hydrants and consummates her relationships with garden hoses. You can't take the bitch anywhere. Case in point, Marie Osmond's performance of " Paper Roses " during a tribute to American Bandstand last night. Marie did this trick where she didn't move her top lip at all while she sang. And by " did this trick" I mean she physically can't move her upper lip. Marie's lip has a boner that isn't going flaccid anytime soon. The collagen worm on Marie's mouth and John Legend's hairline should star in a buddy comedy together. Anyidtotallyletherlipstickthetipin, here's a few more pictures from the Daytime Emmys last night. The fashion was as much of a wreck as the entertainment. In order: Marie, Carnie Wilson with her husband, Rachael Ray with her creepy analbomber husband, Susan Lucci, Michelle Stafford, a mid-priced call girl who got lost while making her way to the hotel bar, Reeg and Joy, Kate Linder, Chubby Checker and Montel Williams with his wife. | |
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