The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| A Prayer Vigil For Queen Aretha | Top |
| In Downtown Detroit last night, loyal subjects of Aretha Franklin quietly gathered together to bow their breasts and send a million prayers into the December air to protect the Queen. Queen Aretha has been suffering from medical issue after medical issue after she fell down in the tub a little while ago . Aretha canceled all of her concerts and appearances until May so that she can be fully healed when she goes back to bear hugging your soul with her glorious voice. The Huffington Post reports that Aretha is undergoing a medical procedure today, so Detroit's Councilwoman JoAnne Watson organized a prayer vigil in her honor last night. Aretha's rep, Tracey Jordan (who I'm sure looks like this ), thanked everyone for showering her with prayers and good thoughts, but when asked what the medical procedure is for he ripped off Aretha's ailin' wig and slapped a trick with it. I've said it before, but I'll stay it again. Everyone's nipples will shrivel up and fall off if anything happens to Aretha, so stop putting an extra heaping serving of Whipped Lightning on your afternoon coffee and send a good thought her way! (Thanks to all who sent this in) | |
| Here We Go Again | Top |
| For two seconds there , Jared Leto was letting his natural hotness simmer and wasn't trying to ruin it by adding unnecessary spices from the fuckery jar. Well, that didn't last long, because here he is in London the other day waging another battle against his hotness. Jared is looking like a Q-tip used for Smurfette's pap smear. WHY! WHY! WHY! You know, I'm fine with Jared's head resembling one of Mel Gibson's frustrated blue balls, but he took that shit too far by matching his hair with his shoes and luggage. And since Jared is obviously serious about his blue nowadays, his dick bush is probably the exact shade of the Blue's Clues dog's taint. Quick Update : Oh, shit. My ass just noticed that Jared's hair is also the color of the nipple (aka headline) on every Dlisted post. Okay, I'll try to warm up to it. | |
CREATE MORE ALERTS:
Auctions - Find out when new auctions are posted
Horoscopes - Receive your daily horoscope
Music - Get the newest Album Releases, Playlists and more
News - Only the news you want, delivered!
Stocks - Stay connected to the market with price quotes and more
Weather - Get today's weather conditions
| You received this email because you subscribed to Yahoo! Alerts. Use this link to unsubscribe from this alert. To change your communications preferences for other Yahoo! business lines, please visit your Marketing Preferences. To learn more about Yahoo!'s use of personal information, including the use of web beacons in HTML-based email, please read our Privacy Policy. Yahoo! is located at 701 First Avenue, Sunnyvale, CA 94089. |
No comments:
Post a Comment