The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- The CAPTION THIS VIDEO Contest For May 31st!
- Snooki Loses Her Drivers License
- Open Post: Hosted By Tori Spelling
| The CAPTION THIS VIDEO Contest For May 31st! | Top |
| via Laughing Squid (Thanks Megan) | |
| Snooki Loses Her Drivers License | Top |
| Looking like if a baby sasquatch ran off in the middle of getting a full body shave, Snooki walked the streets of Florence, Italy with Deena (or maybe that's my uncle in drag as Toula from My Big Fat Greek Wedding) today, because she's no longer allowed to drive. After the producers of Jersey Shore promised Snooki a singing pickle vibrator if she crashed into her police escort for ratings, the authorities in Italy revoked her drivers license. There's no need to stock up on pickles and antibiotics, because they're not going to deport her back to America yet. It was first reported there were no injuries, but that's a lie. That Brother Berenstain Bear looking bitch put two cops in the hospital with minor injuries. UsWeekly says that the cops, who were hired to escort Snooki through Florence, are thinking of pressing charges against her and she faces criminal prosecution if they do. The cops have 90 days to decide what to do. And by that I mean that MTV has 90 days to try to pay them off. Has anybody started an " Amanda Knox For Snooki" campaign yet, because it needs to happen. But seriously, Italy is almost rid of Snooki and they aren't going to let anything get in the way of that. That's why she won't face charges and she won't go to jail. Snooki could blind a dozen Italian children with the bones of murdered kittens and the Italian police would still shrug and say, " So your flight's at 6, right? " Here's more of Snooki in and out of a neck brace in Florence today. Aunt Nelda , this bitch ain't! | |
| Open Post: Hosted By Tori Spelling | Top |
| Thank OPRAH (after feeling the invisible palm of O on my forehead during her final sermon it feels only right to call God by her first name) for the LOOK AT ME stretch of beach in Malibu and for paparazzos with WiFi cards who immediately upload pictures on their laptops in their cars, because I completely forgot that Tori Spelling is knocked up with the 5th cast member of their reality show. Tori let her womb dome hang out and filled her chest gulley with sunshine as she strolled along the beach with her family. Good. Now I'll never forget. The wonky and hard nipple on her belly won't let me. | |
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