The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- Kelly Clarkson And Wikipedia Aren't Friends
- What The Hell Kind Of GD Outfit Is This (I'm Pointing At Vanessa Hudgens)?
- Hot Slut Of The Day!
- Birthday Sluts
- GaGa Has A New Man?
- Afternoon Crumbs
- Ringless Russell
- Kardashian Tell All
- Someone Tried To Set LMFAO On Fire
- "Queen, You Are Fooling Exactly No One With This Butch Bitch Look."
| Kelly Clarkson And Wikipedia Aren't Friends | Top |
When I'm writing about gay porn stars and comparing and contrasting dildos on Manhunt Daily (I'm kidding about the dildo part, that's what I do in my free time at home. The dog is SCARRED for life), I think very little about politics. Luckily, I have politically active celebrities like Kelly Clarkson to do my thinking for me! Bitch has knowledge! American Idol's very first
Twitter is an essential part of your celebrity brand, but some of these dum dums need parental controls on their phone. Kelly can endorse whomever the fuck she chooses, but the following exchange made it clear that bitch had no fucking clue who Ron Paul is, was, does, fucks, discriminates against, supports, what sex he is, whether he's an actual human and not a character on 30 Rock, what he feeds his goldfish with, nothing.
Miss Independent later released a statement saying she loves everyone, blah blah blah, but still supports Ron. Honey, "Since U Been Gone" is a rad song to drunkenly fag out to (what? shut up!) but this does not make you Christiane Amanpour. Damn. Shit, it barely makes you Connie Chung. (via Oh No They Didn't!) | |
| What The Hell Kind Of GD Outfit Is This (I'm Pointing At Vanessa Hudgens)? | Top |
Take a moment to bow your heads and mourn the old copies of Sassy Magazine you kept in a Chinese Laundry boot box underneath your bed in your childhood room at your parent's house. Because for some reason, they have crawled all the way to Miami and committed suicide by exploding onto the body of Vanessa Hudgens as she strolled with her piece Austin Butler yesterday afternoon. That crocheted monokini plus those dreadful ass overalls equals a whole lot of NO. Bitch looks like a permanently hungover Spring breaker in Panama City Beach, FL who ran out of booze money and was forced to get a quick job as a house painter. Overalls are only okay if you're still in diapers, building an outdoor deck or making moonshine on a shopping cart grill. Otherwise, just say NOPE. Vanessa needs to stop thinking she's Vanessa Huxtable. Bitch puts the NO in Lisa Bonet. Oh, don't you miss the old days when pretty pretty princess Zac Efron would pick out Vanessa's outfits, so she wouldn't step out of the house looking like the tragic carcass of fug collapsed on top of her? | |
| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
Nunavut - The Canadian territory no one gives a shit about! This bitch has been around since 1999, when it was separated from the Northwest Territories. Despite being the size of Western Europe, only 33,000 people and a bunch of penguins live in this shit. Despite towns with hot names like Alert and Qikiqtarjuaq, no one ever talks about this place, so that's why we are making it Hot Slut. | |
| Birthday Sluts | Top |
Patti Smith (65) | |
| GaGa Has A New Man? | Top |
Okay, real or undead, Lady Gaga apparently finally has a man! And might I add he is SEXAI. Thank God she can quit with the possibly bi/possibly try/possibly non/sexual thing and just MOVE THE FUCK ON. Here she is, snapped by TMZ with her boy toy, Vampire Diaries hottie Taylor Kinnie. Come on GaGa, we all need to get a little. Ray Charles saw this coming. TMZ says that they've been dating since he guested with her on the You And I video. Way to go Gaga, and Taylor! I'm just proud that you own a step-stool high enough to get to the top of her platforms! Or is it scaffolding? Whatever, doesn't matter. Congrats to the happy (unconfirmed) couple and I hope you can keep Gaga's no-pants stance to a minumum. Team ERRYBODY NEED TO GET SOME!! | |
| Afternoon Crumbs | Top |
Kate Bosworth & Michael Polish go for a walk, and lord as fuck they look weak and hungry. If you Photoshopped Kate Bosworth holding onto a turkey leg, I bet her expression would magically turn into YAAAAAY! - Lainey Gossip RiRi's on vacation and passing gas through her face mouth - Hollywood Tuna FYI: Kelly Clarkson loves Ron Paul - Towleroad The beast on Tom Sturridge's face and the beast on Sienna Miller's head should get together - Popsugar The crack house version of the Addams Family - Hollywood Rag Michael Jordan is going to be somebody's husband again - Just Jared Someone named Claudia Galanti is giving you 95% of her nalgitas - (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather Business Cat vs. Chemistry Cat - Cityrag Robert Downey Jr. prefers his shoes Tommy Girl-ized - Celebitchy DILF alert! - ICYDK Alessandra Ambrosio Salad is knocked up again - Celebslam The Beverly Hills Jerri Blank is still in rehab - I'm Not Obsessed Since when does crack ruin a marriage? - The Superficial Twee overload is right! - The Daily What I really feel like Ali Larter's ass cheeks are speaking to me on a personal level - Popoholic Actually, I take back the Ali Larter comment above. I really think Kris Black's ass cheeks are speaking to me on a REALLY personal level - OMG Blog | |
| Ringless Russell | Top |
KatyRus / PBrand / Brandy? may be off for real. Oooh, two SNAPS in a Z formation for Russell. Katy Perry is not the only one who was spotted sans ring over the holidays. In ANYTHING YOU CAN DO I CAN DO BETTER news, Russell Brand was also snapped in London without his TMZ reports that Russell was in the West Wing today, sporting a ring finger as bare as his wife's breasts on Sesame Street. This kind of makes me sad in a way, because if two total weirdos can't make it in this crazy world, what hope is there for the rest of us? I know Katy will find comfort in the arms of almost any man since she has that kickin body (that is until he actually talks to her, hears her "sing" or sees her in the morning) and Russell can score any chick with a crazy eye and overzealous hair fetish, but still. The holidays are a bitch, both for those of us who are single, or just want to shank our SO's. I hope they make it, just so I can continue to throw shade at their crazy asses. Russell and Katy, you are making the "marriage is for straight people only" side look bad. I hope you are selflessly doing it for the gays. ETA white tennies Russell? REALLY? Hipster fail. Go to jail, go directly to jail, do not pass GO, do not collect $200.00. | |
| Kardashian Tell All | Top |
OMG, pleeeease let this be true!! According to TMZ, an ex Kardashian nanny is currently shopping around a tell-all book about her years Hopefully, she won't cover all the old angles we already know and hate them for, such as the sex tape, underage pole dancing, Pimp Mama Kris's infidelity, Scott's womanizer serial killer face and their general knack for making money off of being no-talent slags. I want some new dirt dammit, like Khloe shaves with sheep shears and Kim cries her mascara off every night (looks like this) because she blew it with Reggie for leaking her dirty ho ass-gulping tape with Ray J. Some people may knock her for violating common decency and her contract of silence, but I'm on team MAKE THAT MONEY GIRLFRIEND. I mean, WWKKD? Exactly. Thank you PSL!! | |
| Someone Tried To Set LMFAO On Fire | Top |
Make jokes about these goons catching fire vs. the fact that some people had to be treated for smoke inhalation? This DListed shit is hard! I'll skirt the line. LMFAO is so bad that a true music appreciator risked his own life and liberty by setting fire to the auditorium at their concert in Honduras last night. I was feeling the exact same way at that Xtina show I went to, but I had forgotten my candle lighter, accelerant, and dry kindling. TMZ reports that smoke filled the Coliseo Nacional de Ingenieros arena as the band(?) was wrapping up their dope show last night. The Afro guy and the other one exited stage left and were unharmed, but 15 people had to be treated for smoke inhalation. Fuck, you sit through THAT and then you get your lungs tarred. No justice. Cops think a "criminal hand" (that's what I call the hand I fap with) set fire to the electrical system. As for the hammerheads in question (I mean LMFAO not the arsonist), "Redfoo" (I can't) Tweeted jokes about the show, and then realized 15 of his fans were laying on the lawn out front sporting oxygen masks. Dick backtracked an hour later.
Someone sue him. That was a psychotic and evil thing of the firebug to do. Does anyone else have a fear of stampedes in big crowd situations? The only smoke at a concert should be from Michael K. and Sweetas smoking their good shit (I normally abstain unless I WANT to be on the phone with Chinese take-out every five minutes until the food gets here). However. I bet if you took a poll of the audience after the assuredly horrible show, some of them might have shrugged and admitted at least understanding where Torchy was coming from. | |
| "Queen, You Are Fooling Exactly No One With This Butch Bitch Look." | Top |
The poster for the upcoming Nicole Kidman and Zac Efron flick, The Paperboy, has been released. Jadis and the REAL Pretty Girl are riding off to the Mac counter in their vintage automobile. The old-school look of the poster is doing it for me, but you can take Stoned Guy and John Cusack's Ted Bundy eyes out of it. Nic Kidman and Efron have GOT this, hunty! Yeah, she's supposed to be trying to morph her suspended animation face into "hot n' fun cougar" and he's trying to be a scaliwag young man aching to stick his dick in her. However, it actually reads as "boozy stage mom taunting her gay son over his asshole bleaching pain." I'd rather see THAT movie. | |
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