The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- Why The Hell Did Colin Farrell Read A Poem At Elizabeth Taylor's Funeral?
- The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For March 29th!
- Hot Slut Of The Day!
- Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess
- This Is Absolutely Terrifying
- Afternoon Crumbs
- Open Post: Hosted By The Glorious Carol Connors
| Why The Hell Did Colin Farrell Read A Poem At Elizabeth Taylor's Funeral? | Top |
| At Elizabeth Taylor's funeral last week, Colin Farrell read a poem to a crowd of mourners making " ....the fuck is he doing here? " faces while wondering if he'll do their funerals too for a fee. Unfortunately, you can't hire Colin to read a poem of your choosing at your funeral. Colin tells Access Hollywood that the reason he was there is pretty damn simple: they were friends! No, Colin wasn't in training to join Elizabeth's ex-husband harem. They just got along and Elizabeth specifically wanted him to coo out poetry at her funeral. Colin explained to Access Hollywood at CinemaCon in Las Vegas yesterday, " How did we become friends? You know, the old story of boy meets girl, and boy pesters girl with too many phone calls at inappropriate hours of the night. I was just lucky enough to become her friend in the last year and a half. I adore her… still. Elizabeth chose it (the poem Gerard Manley's "The Leaden Echo and the Golden Echo "). It was a tricky poem as well. Even in passing she had me under the thumb, sweating bricks. She asked someone else to ask me [to read it]. I just miss her; I just miss her; I just miss her. " Colin didn't mention this, but Elizabeth also requested that he read the poem while only wearing her good luck white diamond clip-on earrings on his nipples. You can add this to the reasons why you would let Colin Farrell eat the last spoon full of Thrifty's ice cream in your freezer after he hits it from the back. Not only do his pores secrete whiskey-flavored lube, but he also befriends old legends and reads poems at their funerals. AND Colin's brows look just like a pair of woolly bear caterpillars. But unlike woolly bears, it won't sting when his brows piss on your finger. So add that to the list! | |
| The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For March 29th! | Top |
| OK. So now we finally know what precisely it was in the milk that was not clean. - Wanted Runners-up: Billy Ray decides once and for all to take down those Disney bitches who messed up his family. - tiny monkey I recognize the horny black and white heifer, but the guy does not look like Nick Cannon. - OurMissC via Evil Milk | |
| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
| Jorge Gonzalez , the Miss J of Germany's Next Top Model who teaches " las chicas " how to stomp on that runway like their feets are on fire. Notice how the frauleins are nearly fainting from being in the presence of Jorge as he two steps out the glitter on a makeshift catwalk in the middle of a mall in Hamburg. It's a bonus that Jorge's shoes look like the second cousin of Shauna Sand's exquisite lucite heels. And I don't know much about Jorge, but everything I need to know has been taught to me in this montage somebody made of his greatest moments. HOLA! CHICAS! If the ovary of a giraffe was fertilized with Dave Grohl's sperm and incubated on a flat iron while Gay Al Reynolds sashayed around it, the finished product would look just like Jorge Gonzalez! | |
| Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess | Top |
| It's not just the super elite actors, the film stars, who need to beard and pretend. Even the lower ranking ones do too. Calling him B List might be a little generous, but he has had his share of magazine covers, is the face of a few shows, and is surprisingly entrepreneurial, with successful projects across several other platforms, all banking on looks and virility. While I can't personally see it, his appeal is strong enough that it has overcome his reputation as a chronic philanderer whose wife left him because he couldn't stay faithful. It was always assumed that he was cheating with women. And in a way, given his errrm sex symbol image, that may have worked for him. But what if the cheating was with men? One night in New York, he was on the receiving end of a very enthusiastic blow job from a very enthusiastic young giver who was clearly not his baby mother because his baby mother is, obviously, not a boy. The baby mother very likely knows though. After all, it wouldn't be an arrangement that she'd be unfamiliar with, given where they met. Still, dude, if you're keeping that kind of secret, and you hit up a bar to get blown, you may want to tip the staff a little better than you do. Because they are talking. And it's not like people haven't been wondering this about you for a long, long time anyway. ( Lainey Gossip ) Images of Matthew McConaughey and David Boreanaz getting mouth-to-peen from a dude filled my head until I got to the part where it says " given where they met. " All signs point to AC Slater himself Mario Lopez since he met the mother of his child on the great white gay that is Broadway. I bet giving Mario Lopez a bj is sort of annoying. You know he flexes, kisses his biceps, winks at the mirror and coos out shit like, " Tell Mario Lopez you like it. " And it's not clear in this blind item, but did this beej go down inside of the bar? If so, can somebody let me know which one, because all the ones I go to throw me out when I try to do that. Yes, I'm trying to do it with myself, but that shouldn't be an issue. This squeaky clean sensation has an ugly side captured on tape! While recording a new album he broke into an impromptu rap – dropping derogatory terms about African Americans and Jews. SOMEHOW the tape wound up at a popular entertainment news show. They made a quick deal and, lo and behold, the tape was killed in exchange for numerous appearances by our bad boy! ( Janet Charlton ) Oh, Justin Bieber would never say such shit. His brains are based on the It's A Small Word ride. Geppetto built him that way. Which A-list film actress, who recently split from her handsome actor-beau, is rumored to be having a lesbian affair with a much older woman? The kicker is that the alleged woman is the ex's mother. ( Blind Gossip ) Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper's mom?!!!!! Squinty making puckerface while giving lady head? I'll just say GOOD NIGHT to that one. | |
| This Is Absolutely Terrifying | Top |
| Here's the cover of the 32-page comic book biography on the life of Angelina Jolie and loooooooooord deliver me from this evil! UsWeekly says that the makers want $3.99 for this mess and does that include a crucifix, because that's what I feel like raising at this cover! They made Angie Jo looks like a bodybuilding alien amphibian transsexual who has landed on this earth to slice mortal nutsacks with her cheekbones and deliver them to her home planet called Chyna. Hmm. Now that I stare at this without my hands over my eyes, I'm slightly turned on. Maybe that's because she's got a pair of hard butt cheeks above her upper lip. | |
| Afternoon Crumbs | Top |
| Since Tommy wallpapered the inside of Stepford Katie's head with pictures of Becks' crotch, you know why he's staring into her ear like this - Lainey Gossip Dear Mila Kunis , in order to play this game you need to bring a percentage to the table - The Superficial Detective La Toya Jackson was robbed! - Celebitchy Vanessa Hudgens can walk down stairs and leak her own nude pictures at the same time! - Hollywood Tuna Elijah Wood gets his plushie on - Towleroad Sofia Vergara and Becks have hard jobs (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather Jennifer Aniston , the epitome of Lifetime's demographic, is directing a short movie for Lifetime - Just Jared Freida Pinto, Emma Stone and Ashley Greene in Glamour - The Berry Alanis Morissette's husband's hair situation confuses me - Popsugar Irina Shayk isn't wearing enough make-up - Popoholic Enrique Iglesias pulls out of Britney - ICYDK Nothing says " douche " like neon green kicks paired with a Lambo - Moe Jackson Rosie O is moving into Harpo - I'm Not Obsessed Alpaca style - Cityrag Willie Nelson has to sing for his freedom - TDW A bowl of oatmeal is wearing a bowl of sparkly oatmeal - Hollywood Rag Black Swan Friday - OMG Blog | |
| Open Post: Hosted By The Glorious Carol Connors | Top |
| Everything about this is correct! EVERY.THING. Any question you throw at me about Carol Connors' beauty and glamour is going to get answered with an all-caps, bolded YES !!!!!! Let's play: Q: "But Michael, what about those decapitated wooden cat heads that were purchased from the gift shop of a low-funded city zoo?" A: YES !!!!!! Q: "But Michael, what about those eyebrows that look like the Joker's upside smeared smile?" A: YES !!!!!! Q: "But Michael, what about that hairline that's playing a game of peek-a-boo with her forehead?" A: YES !!!!!! Q: "But Michael, what about those Tammy Faye Jr. eyelashes and polka dot liner?" A: YES !!!!!! YES! YES! YES! A million times YES! The sooner we can all get on the same YES!! page, the sooner this country can get back to displaying the right kind of glamour. And Carol Connors is at the forefront of that glamour, but she's not alone. At the 25th Annual Professional Dancers Society Gypsy Awards in Beverly Hills the other night, the ladies came out in a big way! There's too much to cover, but I will say thank God for Mitzi Gaynor's complexion! We can all sunbathe under her. In order: Carol Connors (aka " The Dolphin Lady " from Posh's reality show who has gifted the Internet with an amazing website ), Jennifer Grey, Mitzi Gaynor, Marie Osmond, Mary Ann Mobley, Barbara Luna, Florence Henderson, Ruta Lee, Deanna Lund and Charlotte Rae. | |
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