The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- Warning To Nail Salons: Do Not Let This Crazy Monster Pass Through Your Front Door
- The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For March 28th!
- Hot Slut Of The Day!
| Warning To Nail Salons: Do Not Let This Crazy Monster Pass Through Your Front Door | Top |
| When most nail salons see Foxy Brown heading their way, they immediately issue a CODE FOXY which includes the following steps: turn off the lights, hit the "in case of Foxy" button that closes the iron security gate over the storefront, throw a " Moved. Died. Etc. Not Coming Bac k." sign and hide in the back hoping that she doesn't sniff out the glue scent and break the bars with her teeth. Because everybody knows that there's something in nail glue that awakens the acrylic cunt monster inside of Foxy. Even boxes of Lee-Press On nails fall to the floor and slide towards safety when Foxy comes walking by. And Foxy's hunger for a filling got her into trouble again. Foxy has officially replaced " chronic burper" as a manicurist's worst nightmare. This time Foxy got kicked the hell off of a Royal Caribbean cruise ship after an on-board nail salon couldn't fit her into their booked schedule. Foxy, who performed on the ship the night before, did make an appointment, but she showed up three hours late. TMZ reports that when the salon let her know that she wouldn't be dipping her demon claws into their water bowls anytime soon, she flew into one of her signature cunt rages and security was immediately called. Security escorted Foxy out of the salon and put her under cabin arrest for the next 2 days while they were at sea. When the ship got to the Cayman Islands, they kicked her the hell out before saying, " By the way, your nails look ratchet, bitch!" (They didn't say that, but they should've). The authorities drove Foxy to the airport where she caught a flight back to Cuntville. Foxy was busted in 2007 for whoopin' the ass of a beauty shop employee, and she also found herself in handcuffs in 2004 for beating two manicurists. I would say that Royal Caribbean should've made the bitch walk the plank, but then they would've been fined for endangering innocent sea life. Does Foxy still think the year is 1997 and she's got a #145 song on the charts?! If this bitch keeps biting at the hand that files, the only thing she'll be booked for is the opening of a strip mall in Port Chester! I take that back. Most strip malls have nail salons. | |
| The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For March 28th! | Top |
| Not to be outdone by the Kardashian sisters, the Smith Brothers attempt to break the World Record for most long, black things in their mouth at one time. - John_Wilson Runners-up: So, this is what it tastes like to go down on Courtney Love? - cliff777 Their flight must leave in five minutes. - TexnDoc via Break.com | |
| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
| It's not an accident that those trio of miniature dolphins are jumping into the ear of Shawn Merter . Who wouldn't want to live under a tiny sequined black hat? But Shawn wasn't ready to be a full-time Antoine Meriweather which is why he checked into the E.R. after he superglued a wee little fierce funeral hat to the side of his head for Halloween and couldn't get it off. Why anybody would want to be parted with a tiny hat is beyond me! And why a tiny hat would want to be parted with Shawn's head is beyond me: the sequel! But Shawn isn't a toy monkey or a singing telegram girl circa 1964 so the two had to be separated. Unfortunately, Speedo was not available to slap that tiny hat right off of Shawn's head so he had to go the hospital. His harrowing ordeal is below: Supergluing anything to your head skin (Mah Boo's peen aside) is probably not a good idea, but desperate times call for desperate measures! I'm sure Shawn's partner gave him four snaps in Z formation followed by a flick to the head. And TLC needs to take note, this is the kind of shit we want to see on TV. Attack of the Tiny Hats! Greenlight it, TLC! Also, the creator of Super Glue died over the weekend . Coincidence? via The Hairpin (For John, Ken and everybody else who sent this in) | |
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