The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- For Just 25 Cents A Day......
- BREAKING: Shia LaDouche Is A LaDouche
- This Drunk Ho Knows How To Do It
- Hot Slut Of The Day!
- Birthday Sluts
| For Just 25 Cents A Day...... | Top |
| The walking dried bean curd with feuding titties celebrated her 29th birthday over the weekend with a good old-fashioned fame whoring bikini photo op in Malibu with her partner in homewreckery Eddie Cibrian and his children. Your 25 cents a day will go toward a special couples weekend for LeAnn's War of the Roses silicone sacks since it's obvious that they're still sleeping on opposite sides of her bony chest and refuse to even reach out and touch each other. They've been pushed apart and need to reconnect. Because if her nomad nipples don't sing " Reunited " to each other, she'll just keep terrorizing our retinas with her sternum of doom. It must kill the mood when Eddie has to pull out an industrial-strength clamp to titty fuck LeAnn. And while I appreciate that LeAnn wore a knit bikini filter over her ass, that mess should really be worn over the anus hole on her face so it can filter out all the shit she says. | |
| BREAKING: Shia LaDouche Is A LaDouche | Top |
| There are some douchefucks who should really get nipple-burning drunk in the comfort of their own bedroom closets so they can punch at the walls, rage scream at the air, spray saliva at their coats and act like a total asshole trash dick without making everyone else have a shit time. Shia LaDouche is one of those drunks. The Box in L.A. got a tool shower when Shia LaDouche showed up on Friday night and started spraying water like a douchebag that just sprung a leak. A witness type tells Life & Style that Shia became a bottle-nosed douche dolphin as soon as he sat at a table with Marilyn Manson and a lady friend who was probably his girlfriend Karolyn Pho. The witness explained Shia's squirtin' show like this: "Shia picked up a water bottle and shot a mouthful of water all over his seated date's legs. Then he put more water in his mouth and started spitting it all over his tablemates, including Marilyn Manson. He seemed wasted. People started taking their seats in front of the stage at the event, but all of a sudden Shia started shouting at his date and getting visibly angry. Then he headed for the door. He lunged through the very thick seated crowd, and the crowd pleaded with him and encouraged him to sit down. They tried to hold him back -- but he kept struggling through." Shia had to climb over people and tear himself out of the grasp of various strangers who were trying to keep him from going crazy. His date panicked and ran out after him. Marilyn looked shocked and annoyed but stayed seated. Shia and the girl did not return." It was so insane -- he just had a total meltdown right in front of everyone. It was completely out of control. He was so angry and physical. He was determined to get out of there." HURRICANE SHIA! Category: Asshole! Shia can't control his water or his damn booze. The funny thing is that instead of Shia spitting out water at people, the people around him should've spit water at him since bitch could use a shower. Well, at least you know that if you're ever about to get a blow job from Shia, bring a splash guard, because dude's a sprayer! | |
| This Drunk Ho Knows How To Do It | Top |
| Thousands of hungover hos are waking up this morning with power outages in their heads, flooding in their chonies caused by them drunk pissing themselves and messy ass apartments, because they decided to play an early morning game of one bitch bowling with the batteries and canned foods they were told to buy. This drunken Baltimorian knows what I'm talking about. Even her umbrella is tanked! (Thanks to everybody who sent this in!) | |
| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
| The Hurricane Irene Peen Flasher of Virginia Beach! The Weather Channel's Eric Fisher hung around in the middle of Hurricane Irene while telling hos that it's a dumb brain move to hang around in the middle of Hurricane Irene when the running of the frat douches bombed his shot and gave us some Category 1 dick (at the :038 mark). And right under the sign FOXY! You know, at times like this when the media is trying to make bitches freak out by freaking out, you can always count on some motherfucker to say it all with a peen bomb. Watch out for bitchy "THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS" shank eyes from reporters and flying dick pubes from frat dudes! And hours after this, Irene finally calmed the hell down, was downgraded to a tropical storm and will slide up the coast to never be heard from again! Yup, Irene is just like the rest of us sluts. When she sees a peen that's not really worth blowing, she quietly slides out the backdoor. "IT WAS COLD, OKAY?!!" is totally that dude's phrase of the weekend! (Thanks to everybody who sent this in!) | |
| Birthday Sluts | Top |
| Jennifer Coolidge (47) Kyle Massey (20) Armie Hammer (25) Florence Welch (25) LeAnn Rimes (29) Carly Pope (31) Todd Eldredge (40) Jack Black (42) Jason Priestley (42) Billy Boyd (43) Shania Twain (46) David Fincher (49) Emma Samms (51) Scott Hamilton (53) Luis Guzman (55) Ben Gazzara (81) | |
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