The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- The Human Centipede
- Elizabeth Taylor Really Loves Kathy Ireland
- You Mess With My Money, You Mess With My Emotions
| The Human Centipede | Top |
| Unfortunately, this isn't about a feature film version of Rebbie Jackson's musical piece of art Centipede . I wish. No, this post is about a horror movie that is currently making people heave up their vitals organs and cry for their dealers on the film festival circuit. Shock Till You Drop's got the synopsis: Two American girls are on a road trip through Europe. In Germany they end up with a broken car in the woods. They search for help and find an isolated villa. The next day they awake to find themselves trapped in a terrifying make shift basement hospital along with a Japanese man. A German man identifies himself as a retired surgeon specialized in separating Siamese twins.However his three "patients" are not about to be separated, but joined together in an horrific operation. He plans to be the first person to connect people via their gastric system, in doing so bringing to life his sick lifetime fantasy "the human centipede". So all you whores out there better beware when you answer a Craigslist ad asking for " ass-to-mouth, " because this could be what he's talking about! Bring some lip chap and a breath mint, because you could be there for a long ass time. And this movie could also be called " Just A Regular Night At Russell Brand's House ." Well, sans the whole " surgically attaching bitches to each other's gastric systems " thing. Sucio! (Thanks White Lightning ) | |
| Elizabeth Taylor Really Loves Kathy Ireland | Top |
| Dame Elizabeth Taylor has a serious memawboner for her longtime friend/ business partner Kathy Ireland . Ever since the new season of Dancing with the Stars started, Liz has been singing Kathy's praises on her Twitter account. You'd think she was talking about Shauna Sand . It's just Kathy Ireland! I know she changed the face of TV with her thrilling portrayal of Brittany Maddocks on four episodes of Melrose Place , but DAMN! Here's what Dame Liz had to say about the glowingly beautiful Kathy: I'm so excited to see Kathy Ireland on Dancing With The Stars! She is so beautiful. 1:52 PM Aug 17th from web To watch her in movement will be a golden chance to see beauty in action and grace which is what that lady is all about. 1:54 PM Aug 17th from web She is beauty personified because it glows from within and takes her on wing. 1:54 PM Aug 17th from web All of you who are watching Kathy Ireland on DWTS tonight...please vote for her. The # is on the screen. She's so gorgeous, isn't she! 5:13 PM Sep 22nd from web Saw Dancing With The Stars tonight. Didn't think the judges were fair to Kathy Ireland. about 15 hours ago from web Kathy was delightful, gorgeous and fit the music they chose perfectly. If they ever do a remake of The King and I she should star in it. about 15 hours ago from web You know Dame Elizabeth set up a calling room in her mansion and makes her main gays dial for Kathy all night. They only take breaks to rub one of Kathy Ireland's lamps from Lamps Plus for luck. If Kathy ever gets voted out, the judges better sleep with a taser between their crotch, because Dame Elizabeth will be coming for them! (Thanks Stormy ) | |
| You Mess With My Money, You Mess With My Emotions | Top |
| Shortly after TLC announced they were dropping the Jon from Jon and Kate Plus Eight , InTouchWeekly queefed out the news that he has hit the pause button on his divorce from Kate. Right on cue! Jon and Kate's marriage was officially going to be fed to her rabid possum head in November, but now he's asking the court to delay it for 90 days. In the documents, Jon states: "Even though we were heading for a divorce, it appeared that Kate had been suffering from this divorce as much as I had. That's why I asked my attorney to put the brakes on this divorce so I could try to regain control over the future of our family. So Kate and I could join on a cooperative course that would benefit our family — not destroy it. I regret my conduct since Kate and I separated [on June 22]. I used poor judgment in publicly socializing with other women so soon. " HAHAHA! I love how Jon is backpedaling his Big Wheel now that his checking account is in danger of going into overdraft. This is Jon's way of licking on TLC's butt dingles, because if he's not on the show, he's not getting a check. If he's not getting a check, how he is going to keep his tittays slathered in Ed Hardy and Hailey Glassman's bong filled with the good shit? And Jon's lawyer is the fucking best. He confirmed that Jon put a stop to the divorce and added this , " He is hoping to inspire his wife to become less rigid, inflexible and controlling and open up. We're hoping Jon and Kate can sit down together and start exploring what to do about their situation. Once they do that, the rest will fall into place ." Something tells me that the headline on tomorrow's morning paper will be: " JON GOSSELIN'S LAWYER MAULED BY A RABIES INFECTED BEAST. " | |
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