The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Fetus Fever Hits Australia | Top |
| Justin Bieber was supposed to crawl and goo-goo-ga-ga in a free outdoor concert in Australia this morning, but it was canceled after thousands of crazed fangirls swarmed the venue at 2 this morning. Many girls had been camping out near the arena since last night. Justin wasn't supposed to take the stage until later on in the morning, but a rumor that he had arrived early caused the fetusholics to rush the arena . One girl probably got a whiff of baby diarrhea and figured Bieber's mommy was changing him in the back. Baby diarrhea ruins everything! Several girls were taken to the hospital after they were crushed during the chaos. About ten girls were treated at the scene after they fainted. Justin later performed one song from the safety of a studio. This is ridiculous. Justin Bieber is turning tween girls into lesbian-loving pedophiles! I mean, fainting over a newborn fetus?! Only OctoMom does that shit! Although, I guess it's better that they are worshiping a baby instead of having one (I think). Here's a few pictures of Australian tweens suffering through the most devastating experience of their lives. They tried to commit mass suicide, but downing 3 Flinstones Vitamins didn't really do the trick. | |
| Mess Of The Night | Top |
| Looking like the Alabama Leprechaun in a Rick James wig, Whitney Houston continued to bring people to their feet at London's O2 arena last night. However, bitches didn't stand to honor Whitney's glorious voice, they stood up so that they could bust out of there before their ears turned inside/out like Pete Doherty when you pour soap on him. It isn't exactly news that a Whitney Houston concert is the equivalent of reading my junior high school journals (sad, painful and nauseating), but she addressed her voice issues during last night's show. USA Today says that right after she viciously murdered I Will Always Love You , she stopped and told the audience, " She don't want to come, my soprano friend. Sometimes the old girl sings, but not tonight. I want to do it, but she doesn't want to. ... She's getting a little ... temperamental, even ." Whitney blamed it on the air conditioning in the arena, but she should've blamed it on a different kind of air: CRACK AIR. Whitney's soprano friend isn't coming back. Bitch quit Whit a long time ago. It is now happily living in the throat of a tubby Taiwanese boy with Tootie hair . It will not accept Whitney's friend request. Sadly. If for some reason you need to the clear the room you are currently in, press play on this video of Whitney singing last night. Somewhere in the world, a crackhead's light bulb pipe just burst. | |
| A Quick Update On Bret Michaels' Condition | Top |
| Bret Michaels is still laid up in the ICU after suffering a major brain hemorrhage on Thursday night. Over the weekend, Bret's father said that things were looking good, but his rep immediately shot that claim down and said that his condition is still listed as: For Serious. Yesterday morning, Bret's rep gave another update on his website: At this point Bret remains in ICU in critical condition. He is under 24 hour doctors care and supervision. We are hopeful that further tests will locate the source of the bleeding, which has still not been located. As we all know Bret is a fighter and we are hopeful that once all is complete the slurred speech, blurred vision and dizziness, etc., will be eliminated and all functions will return to normal. A source also tells People that Bret called for an ambulance (or an " am-boo-lance " as my chola cousin calls it) on Thursday night because he felt like he was getting " hit in the head with a baseball bat over and over again. " Or hit in the head with a piece of scenery over and over again. DAMN TONYS! You know, right after I read about Bret being in the hospital, I re-watched his accident at the Tony Awards. While skimming the comments, I found this: This is nauseating to watch - it is ABSOLUTELY the cause of his current brain stem injury. Also, nauseating is the laughter about it. I hope his family sues the daylights out of the Tony Awards people. I co-sign (not really). But doesn't she mean sue the spotlights out of the Tony Awards people? Most of them haven't seen daylight for YEARS! | |
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