The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- For Geriatric Vampires With Cataracts
- Do You Hear The Fangirls Cream?
- The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For May 27th!
- Hot Slut Of The Day!
| For Geriatric Vampires With Cataracts | Top |
| This is not a step-by-step training video for wannabe vampire grannies on how to hunt and catch young pieces to suck the youth out of. This is Vadge's commercial for her new line of fashionable cataract sunglasses. Because why shouldn't an oldie look like a superstar sex object at the Bingo game? Something tells me Vadge only put out a line of sunglasses so that she could partake in yet another photo shoot where she grinds her crotch all over a dude who is younger than the shoulder pads in her cheeks. No shade from me. Ride that gun, granny! Gititgitit. | |
| Do You Hear The Fangirls Cream? | Top |
| Broadway World says that the virgin moppet known as Nick Jonas will join the cast of Les Miserables in London for three weeks starting next month. And no, Nick is not playing that creepy singing boy urchin who reeks of dead bodies and burnt toe nails. No, Nick played that role when he was a kid. Instead he will play the part of the rebel student Marius. If you have no idea what I'm going on about, just mutter " gay" to yourself and go on to the next exhibit. Cameron Mackintosh, the producer of Les Miz, had this to say about Nick joining the cast, "I went up to him at the closing night party in New York and told him he was terrific and hoped that one day he would return to play Marius. We've been in touch a lot and, of course, since then he has become this world-famous star. He and his father and I agreed that it would be great if he came and played Marius here in London." That show is going to be a mess. And not only because fragile Nick is going to accidentally pre-cum every time he feels the vibrations from the moving turntable stage. No, it's going to be a mess because every crazed Jonas fangirl is going to act the fool in the audience. Screaming and creaming and shit. While you're trying to fill your soul with heartfelt song (that is the gayest thing I've ever typed and that's saying a lot), do you also want to fill your nostrils with the scent of cooch curd? The poor bitch who always sat next to me in high school during Anderson Cooper's Channel One news show knows what I'm talking about. | |
| The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For May 27th! | Top |
| I think you misunderstod, sir. CSI doesn't stand for cum stain investigator. - OurMissC Runners-up: I'm totally down with whole " service " part, but the " protection " really depends on how drunk I am. - cliff777 Inspired by Heidi Montag's "Transformers 3 " audition, Mario Lopez tries Method acting for a role in the upcoming " NYPD Blew ." - One-trick Pony Do you have any experience with law enforcement? Kind of, I once blew a security guard at a George Michael concert. - oggie168 via Poorly Dressed ( Thanks Tracy & Joan ) | |
| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
| Kimba , the 4-month-old Persian kitten who survived 30-minutes in a washing machine! File this under: squeaky clean pussy, dizzy pussy, drowning pussy, soapy pussy.... etc... etc... Lindsay Rogers, Kimba's owner, says his fluffy pussy snuck into a basket filled with dirty clothes right before he dumped that mess into the washing machine. Lindsay had no idea that Kimba was being shaken and stirred for almost 30 minutes. Lindsay talked about this highly important, red siren news item to Australia's Manly Daily (via DS ), " When I opened the door, it just went 'meow' and stuck its head out. I couldn't believe it - the spin cycle at the end goes really fast and I couldn't believe it survived. " Kimba was treated for shock, hypothermia and inflamed eyes at the local vet, but she's made a full recovery since then. Silly ass Kimba! At least this ho knows now that the pussy goes ON TOP of the washing machine during spin cycle (ask your auntie), not in it! And I expect Kimba to take gold at the 2012 Olympics for wet pussy spinning. Sorry, Phelps! | |
CREATE MORE ALERTS:
Auctions - Find out when new auctions are posted
Horoscopes - Receive your daily horoscope
Music - Get the newest Album Releases, Playlists and more
News - Only the news you want, delivered!
Stocks - Stay connected to the market with price quotes and more
Weather - Get today's weather conditions
| You received this email because you subscribed to Yahoo! Alerts. Use this link to unsubscribe from this alert. To change your communications preferences for other Yahoo! business lines, please visit your Marketing Preferences. To learn more about Yahoo!'s use of personal information, including the use of web beacons in HTML-based email, please read our Privacy Policy. Yahoo! is located at 701 First Avenue, Sunnyvale, CA 94089. |
No comments:
Post a Comment