The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- Lynn Redgrave Has Passed Away
- Lisa Simpson Is The New Noah Cyrus
- People's Big Lesbian Cover Girl Is Chely Wright
- Roman Polanski Has Some Shit To Say
| Lynn Redgrave Has Passed Away | Top |
| Heaven just got another Redgrave. Lynn Redgrave passed away last night in her Manhattan apartment. Lynn was 67. Lynn's children made the announcement through her publicist. A cause of death was not given, but Lynn had been battling breast cancer. It's a dark year for Vanessa Redgrave. Her daughter Natasha passed away a year ago, her brother Corin died last month and now Lynn. Sads. I will spend my night watching my favorite Lynn Redgrave movie, the TV remake of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? (yes, I'm trash), while sipping on a Weight Watchers shake. Rest in peace, Lynn. | |
| Lisa Simpson Is The New Noah Cyrus | Top |
| Kesha must be shooting donuts out of her snatch into Homer Simpson's mouth again, because last night's episode of The Simpsons opened with a lip dub of " Tik Tok ." Yes, watching Lisa Simpson mouth the words to that dumpster shit is disturbing. If she starts dancing on the pole ala Noah Cyrus , we'll have no choice but to call Springfield's Child Protective Services. And yes, Lisa Simpson is technically a child even though she's like 30 years old or some shit. I'm sure the entire Simpsons family and every other bitch who took part in this mess felt all kinds of regret while they shook the scabies out of their cartoon orifices. That's what they get! Everyone knows that " Tik Tok " is a siren call for scabies. You don't even play that song unless you've got a can of RID in your hand. | |
| People's Big Lesbian Cover Girl Is Chely Wright | Top |
| AFTER ALL THAT, People has confirmed that the answer to the " Who is coming out ?" blind item is country singer Chely Wright ( aka WHO?!). Chely's lesbian non-bomb was supposed to drop this Wednesday, but People came clean this morning after everyone and their bikini waxer spoiled the news over the weekend . Yes, this is what it feels like to get a wet handjob without release. Let's all bump blue balls while cursing People's name. Chely, who has a book and a CD coming out this week, queefs to People, " There had never, ever been a country music artist who had acknowledged his or her homosexuality (Ed note: K.D. Lang just shank eyed bitch). I wasn't going to be the first. Nothing in my life has been more magical than the moment I decided to come out ." You know what will be more magical? The feeling Chely will get in her heart when she sees the extra sales from her CD and book because of her People Magazine cover. Nothing hugs your soul and makes you feel clean like a publicity stunt. Good for you, Chely. Not all is lost though. At least I got to post this picture of Chely wearing a truly hot outfit. Thanks to Chely I can now wear a window scarf as a waist accessory with confidence! | |
| Roman Polanski Has Some Shit To Say | Top |
| Roman Polanski , who is currently on forced vacation in his fancy Swiss chalet, took a little time out from watching reruns of Toddlers & Tiaras and Skype-ing with Pedobear to write a 908-word statement about his extradition from Switzerland to the United States. Roman released the long ass letter through his friend Bernard-Henri Lévy . Roman believes we should all leave him alone, because he's already served time for raping a 13-year-old girl. You can read the entire thing at Deadline Hollywood , but you might want to save yourself some time by farting into your hand and then smelling it. It will leave you with the same taste in your mouth. Here's a little snip of Roman's letter: I can now remain silent no longer! I can remain silent no longer because the American authorities have just decided, in defiance of all the arguments and depositions submitted by third parties, not to agree to sentence me in absentia even though the same Court of Appeal recommended the contrary. I can remain silent no longer because the California court has dismissed the victim's numerous requests that proceedings against me be dropped, once and for all, to spare her from further harassment every time this affair is raised once more. I can remain silent no longer because there has just been a new development of immense significance..... I can no longer remain silent because the United States continues to demand my extradition more to serve me on a platter to the media of the world than to pronounce a judgment concerning which an agreement was reached 33 years ago. I can remain silent no longer because I have been placed under house arrest in Gstaad and bailed in very large sum of money which I have managed to raise only by mortgaging the apartment that has been my home for over 30 years, and because I am far from my family and unable to work. Such are the facts I wished to put before you in the hope that Switzerland will recognize that there are no grounds for extradition, and that I shall be able to find peace, be reunited with my family, and live in freedom in my native land. But can he remain silent any longer? It took Roman 908 words to basically say, " WAH! WAH! WAH! WAAAAAH!" Roman is crying and moaning about how he feels he's not being treated fairly, yet he's sipping Swiss Miss hot chocolate from a St. Bernard's barrel collar in the comfort of a luxurious chalet instead of making grilled cheese on a radiator in prison. I couldn't offer him a drop of sympathy even if I stuck a Quaalude up my culo. | |
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