The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- Hello Fetus?
- America's Favorite Little Pill Popper Returns To American Idol!
- The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For May 26th!
- Hot Slut Of The Day!
| Hello Fetus? | Top |
| Mimi's got everyone staring at her Spanx-slathered womb after she pulled out of a movie due to " medical reasons ." Basically, if Nick pulled out, Mimi wouldn't have to pull out. Yes, grab the GONG and I'll get my things together. Mimi was supposed to star in the film version of (inhale with your eyeballs, because this is a long ass title) For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf, but she has removed herself from that shit. Mimi's rep only said this : "She is not doing the movie because her doctor advised her not to. More than that I cannot comment further. " Maybe the costume designer refused to sew 5 pairs of Spanx into Mimi's costume, so she held up a stop sign and quit that bitch. In Mimi's world, that is a medical emergency. For Colored Girls.... is supposed to start shooting in a couple of weeks. Tyler Perry is directing a cast which includes: Janet Jackson, Kimberly Elise, Whoopi Goldberg, Kerry Washington, Macy Gray, Phylicia Rashad, Jill Scott, Loretta Devine and Anika Noni Rose. You know, those bitches shouldn't even bother memorizing their lines, because Tyler Perry is going to end up playing all those roles himself anyway. | |
| America's Favorite Little Pill Popper Returns To American Idol! | Top |
| For me this season of American Idol was like that fuck buddy who is the laziest lay and takes years to cum, but you always call them up on a Saturday night when you're feeling the itch because you know they're always around and ready to go. I tried to get into that shit. I sucked my bong until it was filled with tumbleweeds while watching it, but even that didn't work. Something was missing....and that something was every pharmaceutical executive's wet dream girl Paula Abdul ! How could I deal with Ellen Degeneres (aka the nail in the coffin) blinking like a brain dead bunny with Tourettes without Paula Abdul there to get me contact high? But Paula returned to the Idol stage last night after the producers left a trail of Ludes from her bathroom to the studio! Paula showed up in Skat Cat jammies, but the costumers were able to throw a dress together using some scraps found in Crystal Bowersox's dreads and a few pasties from Simon Cowell's dressing room. Speaking of Simon, he is the sole reason for why Paula dragged herself out of the pill bottle last night. It was Simon's last episode and Paula gave a touching farewell speech that you could only understand if you put an empty whiskey bottle up the screen and put your ear to it. At one point, I thought Paula was going to go off script and start telling off all the producers who evicted her from the show. I thought it was going to be one of those "YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM IS " moments which would lead to two men in white coats ( Ruben and Justin Guarini, because they need the money) rushing on stage and injecting her with a strong sedative (aka Kara Dioshutthefuckup's saliva). Sadly, that didn't happen, but Paula still managed to put together an incoherent rambling mess of a goodbye monologue. Watch it below. By the way, the video is totally in synch with the audio. It's Paula's mouth and words that are not in synch: As for the rest of the episode, it was like the worst Jerry Lewis telethon ever complete with sickly kids (I'm looking at you, Archuleta). Some dude named Lee DeWyze won that shit. Lee is like the mulch you get when you leave David Cook and Kris Allen in your backyard compost pile for a few months, so at least Idol is consistent with their winners. Personally, I wanted Crystal to win, only because she looks like Taylor Swift's crazy aunt who lives in a mobile home behind a Piggly Wiggly and is always going on about her magic stones. That aunt who is always begging Taylor to buy her 100 lottery tickets, because she saw the winning numbers in the toilet while trying to make sure she's shitting out banana-shaped poops. So that's that. I'm telling myself that the entire season was just a horrific nightmare Paula Abdul had while she was in a Vicodin-induced coma. If you pan out, you'll see Vincent the Dog lying next to her. | |
| The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For May 26th! | Top |
| Tired of being in her sister's shadow, Basement Baby ate her. - Hello Kitty Ho Stroll Runners-up: When Coco's ass implants were reported missing, Ice-T left no stone unturned to track them down. - fauve What Leroy doesn't realize is thats his home boy hiding in that girls dress upside down and nekid - SINIC Source: Your Mom Is At The Club via O Hell Nawl | |
| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
| Santa Monica, CA's Meter Maid of Evil!!!! KTLA's Gayle Anderson was doing a live segment on the best road trip cars at a parking lot in Santa Monica when a meter maid who doesn't play around started throwing down ticket after ticket. Gayle swore she had the parking receipts in the station van, but the meter maid wasn't hearing it and issued three parking tickets. When Gayle continued to plead her case, the meter maid closed her ears and shut that bitch down. Being a meter maid probably sucks shit, so this is her idea of a good time! You know she's getting off on watching Gayle try to get out of the tickets. This is her version of fucking a bitch in the ass with her patent leather stiletto heel. You know she went back to her meter maid cart and smoked a cigarette. And it's even better that it was all caught on tape. This is like her sex tape! Freaky bitch. Clip below: (For Kristina) | |
CREATE MORE ALERTS:
Auctions - Find out when new auctions are posted
Horoscopes - Receive your daily horoscope
Music - Get the newest Album Releases, Playlists and more
News - Only the news you want, delivered!
Stocks - Stay connected to the market with price quotes and more
Weather - Get today's weather conditions
| You received this email because you subscribed to Yahoo! Alerts. Use this link to unsubscribe from this alert. To change your communications preferences for other Yahoo! business lines, please visit your Marketing Preferences. To learn more about Yahoo!'s use of personal information, including the use of web beacons in HTML-based email, please read our Privacy Policy. Yahoo! is located at 701 First Avenue, Sunnyvale, CA 94089. |
No comments:
Post a Comment