The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Michael Bay Will Still Jack Off To This | Top |
| This is Heidi Montag's audition tape for " Transfarters 3" (I think that's what the hick at the beginning said) audition, and it's the most hilariously terrifying thing I've seen since watching that toddler work a cig like a pro . Except that fag-smoking toddler has the smarts to turn the gun on the camerdouche (aka Spencer Twatt ). Miss Plastic Anal Bead face Twittered this sad display of patheticness to Michael Bay in hopes that he would cast her as Megan Fox's replacement. The only problem is that the dildo-brained asshole Twittered it to a fake Michael Bay account . But nobody tell her that, because we need her to believe that her callback is being held at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico. Top Kill does need some villains. And the saddest thing about this mess is that Heidi's tortured gun doesn't have hands to pick up another gun and shoot itself in the mouth. | |
| Alexis Houston Used To Be Wellington Houston | Top |
| When all the rumors about Matt Lauer passing his dick around the country started popping up again, singer Alexis Houston' s name came up as one of his mistresses. Alexis claims she's one of Whitney Houston's cousins. Whitney hell-to-the-no-ed Alexis' claims and even sued her for fraud a few years ago. Anyways, after Alexis' name was tied to Matt Lauer's, she held an unnecessary press conference with her lawyer, famed mistress chaser Gloria Allred, and denied the allegations. And that brings us to Page Six's story about how Alexis Houston used to be a dude named Wellington Houston . No wonder Whit Whit is always bathing in crack smoke. Bitch's fake cousin who used to be a dude looks better than she does. Bobby B will gladly pop Alexis' doody bubbles and then some (you decide what the " then some" is). A source close to Alexis says that she got nipped and tucked three years ago. Alexis' boyfriend at the time paid for the surgery and the two later married in Niagara Falls. Alexis refused to comment on this shit. This tidbit wrapped in pastry dough doesn't really mean anything, but it did give me the beautiful image of Matt Lauer stuffing his face with a piping hot serving of Beef Wellington. Matt's wife always wondered why his crotch busted into a seizure whenever she ordered the Beef Wellington at their favorite restaurant. | |
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