The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- Open Post: Hosted By The World's Best Cat Litter
- Adrien Brody Is Scared Of Rapey Gay Goats
- The Don Draper Of Toddlers
| Open Post: Hosted By The World's Best Cat Litter | Top |
| If you haven't already seen this gross ass ridiculousness, then get ready to dump out your old pussy gravel and replace it with the World's Best Cat Litter ! It's the world's best, because if for some reason you find yourself putting your nostril up to your cat's litter box (I'm looking at you, Blohan), you won't take in a giant whiff cloud of cat piss. And it's even safe enough to eat, because it's made out of corn. So if you ever find yourself hongray and your cupboards are bare, just scoop up some of your cat's litter, throw it in a pot full of hot oil and you've got yourself a delicious snack. POOPCORN! (Thanks Peaches) | |
| Adrien Brody Is Scared Of Rapey Gay Goats | Top |
| Note to Billy Goat Brad Pitt : If you ever have dinner at Adrien Brody's house, make sure to be on your best gentlemanly behavior or you'll be sent to Sonoma, CA forever. You've been warned. Adrien Brody tried to buy two lady goats for his New York farm, but instead he was sold two dude goats. Not just any dude goats, one of his goats had a giant peen that could cause horns to splinter. And the big dicked goat really wanted to put his shit to use, which made Adrien scream for his mommy. Adrien explains, " The more well-endowed goat took a liking to the other one and I swear it was traumatic. There was a lot of crying and goat noises and I felt incredibly guilty and I didn't know what to do. I had homosexual goats. It's best when you have goats that are that gay to just let them free... because I felt that they were in captivity and the one was receiving a lot of aggression on the other one's behalf... so I sent them off to Sonoma. " Sodomy in Sonoma! Now we really know why George Clooney won't stop staring at goats. You know, I don't want to remember Adrien Brody for his perfectly sculpted Afghan Hound face, his erect penis nose or his impeccable fashion sense. I want to remember Adrien Brody for his fear of gay goats with big dicks. And Nicolas Cage wants you all to know that he will never ever eat those goats . via Toronto Sun | |
| The Don Draper Of Toddlers | Top |
| When I was 2-years-old I was still licking windows and chewing on bed skirts (some things never change), but this badass Indonesian butterball can work a cigarette like a grand master pimp. This is 2-year-old Ardi Rizal and he smokes up to 40 ciggies a day thanks to his dad who gave him his first taste of nicotine at 14-months-old. I don't whether to weep for his tiny lungs, or laugh at the thought of him rolling up to a group of smokers in his toy trunk to ask them for a hot fag. Ardi's mother says that her son's habit costs the family around $5.50 a day and he only smokes one brand. Ardi's mother cried as she said, " He's totally addicted. If he doesn't get cigarettes, he gets angry and screams and batters his head against the wall. He tells me he feels dizzy and sick." And it's totally not weird when Ardi reaches for a pack of cigs after drinking from his mom's tete or asks her for a light while she changes his diaper. The government has agreed to give Ardi's family a new car if he quits. But Ardi's father, who is about to be named Person of the Century by the tobacco companies, doesn't know what the big deal is, " He looks pretty healthy to me. I don't see the problem ." Just so you know, Ardi's father is legally blind and has no nostrils. I don't see the problem either. So he'll get a voice box installed in his froat before he can make complete sentences. Regular talking is overrated! So he'll probably start craving a little whiskey with his cigarette. Bottom shelf booze is cheaper that baby food! But serious talk, the family should take that car from the government and drive Ardi into the jungle to be raised by wild monkeys. He'll be better off. via The Sun (Thanks James G.) | |
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