The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Xtina's Insatiable Hunger For Chocha Knows No Bounds! | Top |
| At least that's what The Sun says SamRo told her friend who told The Sun. SamRo has already shaken her head NO to the rumor that she's got the remnants of Xtina's lead-based bronzer all over her hot pocket, but maybe she should tell that to her friend. Music producer Marlon David says Xtina, SamRo and an unnamed fuck partner had a threesome down in Mexico. And while SamRo was slurping on Xtina's tequila worm, she came (stop right there) to the realization that red lipstick don is a " hot piece of ass." Marlon opened his pie hole and spilled this out onto the floor of The Sun: "Jordan was never comfortable with Xtina liking girls but he thought it would make the marriage work. Sam said she had a threesome with Xtina in Mexico last month, that's when she realized she was a 'hot piece of ass'. Sam said Xtina is 'horny as a college freshman'." I realize that SamRo insists on posing like a douchebag frat boy who always feels like he has to overcompensate for the fact that he's not happy with his (NSFW) weeping willow foreskin , but does she have to talk like one to? I mean, " horny as a college freshmen" ? And I bet that after she said that, she made Marlon smell her fingers since she hasn't washed them since Mehico. Okay, that made me swoon at the loins a bit. Ugh. I always fall for the douchebag frat boys. Even the douchebag frat boys with vaginas. | |
| Prince Von Anhalt Silenced By A Bee | Top |
| It is not the year for Zsa Zsa Gabor and her husband Prince Von Anhalt. While Zsa Zsa rested on her pink satin princess bed under the crystal chandelier that only sparkles for her, P-Vo was sunning his schnitzel by the pool. But his moment of relaxation was cut short by the rudest and whoriest bee in Beverly Hills. TMZ says that a bee flew into his mouth and did ass-to-froat with him without asking. The bee stung him right in the goddamn throat! Before Prince Von knew it, he was turning blue and his throat started to swell up. He was shuffled off to the emergency room and admitted into the hospital. Apparently, he's been there since Wednesday. Bees always remind me of my abuelita who really is their greatest arch rival. When I was little, she would spend hours in the backyard trying to catch bees with her bare hands. Imagine if you were a bee and got caught by an old lady hand? Embarrassing! So when she'd get her hand on a bee, she'd sting herself in the leg with it. It soothed her arthritis or some shit. I don't know. It was probably the secret to how she found the strength to wield a mighty chankla around. That's it. And at least Prince Von Anhalt can tell people he now knows what it feels like to give Gerard Slutler a beej without lining his froat with a female condom first. | |
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