The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- Because We Really Need A Barbie Movie
- In Today's Edition Of "What Kind Of Fuckery Is RiRi Slathered In Now?"
- Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess
| Because We Really Need A Barbie Movie | Top |
| There's really nothing shocking about this since we've already been farted on by a Transformers movie and a G.I. Joe movie. So why not Barbie ?! Variety reports that Universal Pictures and Mattel have decided to get into bed together and produce a movie starring everyone's favorite plastic tittied blonde (sorry, Kim Zolciak ). Apparently, this shit will be a live action movie. They are looking for writers now and trying to decide where to take the movie. Lawrence Mark , one of the producers, said, " Barbie may be the most popular girl in the world, and has always been a wonderfully aspirational figure, so we must do her proud. " All " Why?Why?Why? " comments aside, this could be an Oscar-winning role for a very lucky actress. The Barbie movie could get into some deep shit. Think about it. It could start off being all about pink corvettes, rubber heels and pearl earrings. Then shit will get serious on Barbie and Ken's wedding night when they find out they don't have any goddamn genitals or nipples! Ken and Barbie will try to fuck, but they can't! Bitches can't even take a shit! That will fuck you up. So Barbie and Ken fall into a deep depression which leads them into a dark world of drugs. Barbie and Ken grow more and more hateful towards the world, because everyone else has fuck parts but them. So they pick up strangers in bars promising them a wild night of sex, but what they really get is their genitals cut off by Barbie! If Barbie can't have a vagina, neither can you! I'm telling you, Oscars all around! | |
| In Today's Edition Of "What Kind Of Fuckery Is RiRi Slathered In Now?" | Top |
| RiRi has yet to take a black Sharpie to that peroxide disaster on top of her head. I've already put in a call to poison control to let them know that RiRi's hair might be suffering from a major Clorox overdose. In the meantime, let's talk about that shit shirt...... Unless RiRi is heading to a parking lot party outside of a Nascar race where she plans to down Old Milwaukee from a beer bong while rocking out to Warrant, that shit is not cute. I mean, does she think she's Jessie from Big Brother ?! To think, that ensemble would have been extremely classy and elegant if she simply dumped that shirt in the garbage disposal and walked around in her satin bra. Sigh. | |
| Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess | Top |
| This engagement is fairly new, but I definitely smell trouble. This Golden Globe nominated/winner B list movie actress has been entertaining a fairly steady stream of men at her fiance's home. Her fiance is a B list television actor on a very hit show. He must know this is going on as our actress doesn't hide what she has been doing and with whom but our actor doesn't seem to care. ( CDAN ) So, it seems like there's really only one guess: John Krasinski and Emily Blunt ? And if he's fine with her passing that pussy, who cares? Share the love, share the peen, share the pussy, share it all! Which actor refused to take pictures at the premiere of Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs because he thought he was too sweaty? Hyperhidrosis or hyperdiva? ( Star Magazine VIA Blind Gossip ) Maybe he didn't want hos to know he was at the damn Cloudy with a Chance of Balls premiere? My guess is Andy Samberg or Will Forte ? Which dieting model shunned the London Fashion Week afterparty buffet table, instead opting for her own bespoke gourmet feast – crushed horse tranquiliser washed down with a litre of diet coke? She swears it quick fires her metabolism. Your extra clue: We wonder if her trendy on-off man knows his pretty girlfriend's dark secret. ( 3am Girls ) Rhymes with Hate Floss ? This very good looking C+ actor on a huge hit cable show broke his foot about a week ago. He didn't want anyone to ask him how it happened so he removed the cast while he was at The Emmy Awards. The reason he broke his ankle? He was whacked out on meth and jumped off the roof of his house with a cape on thinking he could fly. ( CDAN ) Hmmm...let's go with Hunter Parrish from Weeds just for shits? | |
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