The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- Heigl & Child
- Community Service Looks Hard
- It's An Epidemic: People Hitting Other People's Two-Year-Olds In Public
| Heigl & Child | Top |
| Okay, I'm going to try to be nice to Katherine Heigl this one time (MARK THIS DAY IN HISTORY!!!) and say that her new adorable Asian baby friend softens the cuntness in her face just a bit. There. Heeeigggl (make that phlegm noise) and her husband Josh Kelley posted the first pictures of their 10-month-old daughter Naleigh on her foundation's website today. Heigl and her husband adopted little Naleigh from Korea. Naleigh's full name is Nancy Leigh (after Heigl's mother and sister). Heigl's rep said that everyone is doing well. You know, babies always make my toe nails sweat, but Naleigh's little Michelin Man arms did make my dead heart beat a couple of times. I should go to the free clinic and have that checked. | |
| Community Service Looks Hard | Top |
| Would you hit it, because it would hit you. So, here's Chris Brown working hard ( sar.casm ) to erase his sins during day 2 of community service . Seriously, community service looks funner than a dildo convention. You get fart around with your nipples out. Although, in Chris' defense, he's probably topless, because wearing just a wife beater would be too obvious. How many pairs of shorts does it really take to cover Chris Brown?! Riddle me this, if it's so hot that Chris has to air his chest out, why the hell is he wearing the entire shorts section of an American Apparel?! Pull your stupid camo capris up....all the way past your face. And I don't know whether to clap or cry at the on-purpose irony in thumbnail #5. | |
| It's An Epidemic: People Hitting Other People's Two-Year-Olds In Public | Top |
| Earlier this month, a Grinch-like pepaw was arrested after he slapped a crying two-year-old in the middle of Wal-Mart. That slap must have put something in the air, because it has happened again. 43-year-old Gloria Ballard was put in handcuffs on Tuesday afternoon, because she took a two-year-old boy over her knee and slappity slapped his nalgas three times in the middle of a Salvation Army in Cincinnati, Ohio. Apparently, the boy said something to Gloria that annoyed her. My guess is that he asked her why she smelled like Amy Wino's spit cup, because Gloria has been arrested before for public intoxication and disorderly conduct. Yes, you know you're living the life when you're drunkenly spanking children in a Salvation Army. In court yesterday, Gloria claimed that she never spanked the child. She said he was upset, so she was trying to comfort him by gently patting him on the back. HA! That's kind of a good excuse. The pepaw who slapped that kid in Wal-Mart should have used that one. He wasn't slapping that crying girl, he was just trying to comfort her by caressing her cheek. Sometimes old folks get stronger in their old age (I'm making that up). They don't know their own strength! If found guilty, drunk ass Gloria could face up to six-months in jail and a $1,000 fine. And if you have a two-year-old, you better give that kid a taser and dress 'em up in armor when you take them out in public. Slapping a stranger's child seems to be the thing. VIA Associated Press | |
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