The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- What Screaming Nekkid Hooker? What Trashed Hotel Room?
- The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For October 26th!
- Hot Slut Of The Day!
| What Screaming Nekkid Hooker? What Trashed Hotel Room? | Top |
| Charlie Sheen stuffed half of White Oprah's night time stash up his nostrils , drank a Hoff load of the sweet nectar, brutally murdered a crystal chandelier and forced a nekkid ass nekkid call girl to lock herself in the bathroom out of sheer fear, but yet he's simply brushing the crusted vomit flakes off his chest and going back to life like none of that happened. People reports that Carlos Estevez is back in Los Angeles to shoot a cameo in a friend's movie on Friday before he takes his ass back to earn the Two and a Half Men set next week. Meanwhile, the craziest thing Jon Cryer has ever done is use cinnamon toothpaste that one time instead of mint and yet he'll never ever collect a bigger paycheck than Charlie Sheen. Being Charlie Sheen is fun!!! Being Charlie Sheen's liver, not so fun. TMZ adds that even though Charlie has been in and out of Promises in Malibu during the past few months, he has no plans to return for more treatment. Apparently, people around Charlie are like " Um, I think I see the Grim Reaper sashaying up behind you" but that hasn't slowed him down and he just wants to move past the whole "screaming hooker in the bathroom " thing. As for Denise Richards , she's been making the rounds promoting some show and she isn't say much about her ex-husband busting into a cokey-sponsored tornado of rage right across the hall from her daughters. On Joy Behar's show last night, the former cyborg pussy peddler basically only said , " I do know what happened and I did help him at the hospital. My daughters are five and six years old. They're at an age where they can start to understand. They have no idea what went on." Charlie Sheen can turn whatever is left of his brains into overcooked Malt-O-Meal and trash a fancy hotel room on a Tuesday, and then he can non-nonchalantly skip into his job and collect a $1.6 million pay check the next week. And the only thing he'll get from his co-workers is a slightly awkward " Well, at least they didn't find a dead hooker" side-eye. Why hasn't White Oprah shown up to the Two and a Half Men set in a wedding dress to propose marriage to Charlie?! | |
| The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For October 26th! | Top |
| The 'Things I Would Rather Do Than Sleep With a Kardashian' contest just keeps getting wackier! - starla1971 Runners-up: OMG! One of Madonna's arm veins has escaped into the PhotoShop Matrix. Run, Morpheus, run!! - jazzfish_77 PyQuil, the nightime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffyhead, fever, so you can get these motherfucking snakes out of my motherfucking mouth medicine. - Ikcor Big deal. Stop crying. Pamela Anderson has had slimier things in her mouth and up her nostrils than that and she's a woman. - El Bastardo via AP | |
| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
| Malik Turner , a 40-year-old UPS sorter who lives with his mom in Harlem and is the most eligible bachelor in the New York, if not the country, if not the world, if not the universe! Scooping up vagina with the click of a mouse on Craigslist isn't the way a natural born romantic like Malik wants to woo the lady of his wet dreams to snuggle with him on the top bunk in his mom's guest room/office/craft station. Malik prefers to do it the old-fashioned way so he has posted several hand-written personal ads on telephone booths around the city. Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is how Romeo met Juliet. Malik might be filled with a brand of delusion you thought only existed in a Lohan, but he knows how to write a personal ad. Malik's personal ad makes Harry Potter seems like something that exists in real reality. When Malik's kindergarten teacher told him to " dare to dream ", he took that shit a little too far. Basically, Malik is looking for a 21-45-year-old white or Hispanic female (NO SHE-MALES!!!!) with red or blonde hair (NO BROWNHAIREDS!!!) who has big tits (NO FATS!!!!) and is a total slut (NO HOOKERS!!!). She must also be a non-smoker who goes dutch (NO GOLD DIGGERS!!!) and regularly wears daisy dukes with 6-inch spiked heels (NO SHE-MALE HOOKERS!!). Malik is hoping to find all of this in a classy lady who stops and reads personal ads on a damn telephone booth! If you're a 22-year-old Hispanic slut with red hair who thinks she has finally found her Prince Charming, think again. Malik is only looking for fuck times and isn't ready for anything serious. I'm not going to add anything else, because Malik has it covered and you should really spend time reading his entire ad. And in case you haven't already noticed, MALIK IS WEARING A FANNY PACK! A fanny pack that matches his outfit! Yeah, so don't act like you're not dialing 9-1-7-6-5.... right now. | |
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