The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Oh, Jakey Just Wants Her To Write A Song About Him | Top |
| To me, Jakey Gyllenhaal is a wholesome 14-year-old white country girl on the inside and a fragile Brawny man on the outside, so this pairing really isn't pulling a WTF out of me. Can't you just picture Jakey and Taylor Swift skipping hand-in-hand down a dirt country road while whistling the melody to some Disney song and waving at the birds in the trees and shit. Then Taylor pulls out her ukulele (or whatever the hell she carries around) and serenades Jakey with a song about how a rainbow is just a black cloud's smile while he twirls around the strawberry patch like the precious ballerina princess he is. They are like every montage from every G-rated romantic comedy or animated film. Both Lainey Gossip and Life & Style's Scene Queens are saying that 20-year-old Taylor and 29-year-old Jakey have been spending a little time together. Lainey says that Taylor brought Jakey to the SNL after-party to hang out with her friend Emma Stone. And a source tells Life & Style that Jakey and Taylor were holding hands while struttin' their asses around Park Slope in Brooklyn yesterday afternoon. And I bet they were giggling. Taylor Swift's natural squint is due to her foolish ass giggling all the time! They don't even talk, they just giggle and peck at each other's cheeks. Like I'm sure they even held hands and giggled in front of their lawyers at the contract signing for their new relationship. | |
| From Hiccup Girl To Alleged Murderer Girl | Top |
| Jennifer Mee became famous for a hiccup second after she went on the Today show three years ago because the trick could not stop hiccuping ! When Jennifer eventually stopped hiccuping, I knew we would see her on TV again, but I thought she would trade her hiccups in for queefs and become QUEEF WOMAN. Nope, apparently Jennifer, who is now 19-years-old, traded her hiccups in for a gun! And she allegedly used that gun to a shoot a dude dead. I know hiccups have the power to drive you to the edge of the dark side, but DAMN. Who knew hiccups are a gateway to murder. Jennifer and two dudes were arrested in St. Petersburg, FL over the weekend after they allegedly robbed a 22-year-old man before murdering him with a gun. Police say that Jennifer is the one who lured the man into a house so they could all take his stuff. The police also said in a statement, " All three suspects admitted to their involvement and were charged with 1st degree felony murder ." Here's the report from Today : Jennifer's mother told a radio station in Tampa that she's as shocked as the rest of us about what has become of Hiccup Girl, "I don't think she knew what was going to happen because that's not Jennifer. She's not out to hurt anyone. She is a lovable, sweet little girl who wouldn't hurt a fly." Wouldn't hurt a fly?! Is that so? Well, what does Jennifer's mother have to say about the disastrous battle zone over her eyes? Hiccup Girl might not kill a fly, and she might not have shot a man, but she most definitely caused pain to many a brow hairs. Looking at that lopsided dreadfulness is giving my eyeballs the hiccups. One brow looking all chunky and short while the other one is on the lean side. That is some " Jack Sprat & His Wife " shit! The judge better tack on another 25 years for that offense. | |
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