The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Save Doji! | Top |
| The CRAZY Quaids' " National Lampoon's Escape to Canada " plan fell apart over the weekend when they were caught by Vancouver police and turned over to immigration officials. Randy and Evi Quaid begged Canada to save them from the " Hollywood whackers" who are responsible for the tragic deaths of their friends including Heath Ledger and David Carradine . Well, another member of the Quaid family might be turned into glue, or since this Canada we're talking about, maple syrup. Or better yet, that brown glue that sort of looks like burnt honey. Anyways, this is not about glue that looks like honey! This is about the Quaids' poor dog Doji . TMZ says that Doji was with Randy and Evi when their refugee dreams were popped. When Randy and Evi were shuffled off to the nearest jail cell, Doji was taken to an animal shelter in Vancouver. Cousin Eddie has yet to pick up Doji from the shelter, and apparently Vancouver law states that any jailed dog that hasn't been claimed for more than 3 days becomes property of the city. The keeper of the pound then has the right to either put the dog up for adoption or send it on a premature trip to heaven! Vancouver Animal Control tells TMZ that they try their hardest to find every dog a new home before they resort to giving it a death kiss to the veins :( Dennis, get your ass to Canada and save this dog! But seriously, now that the news of Doji's incarceration is making the rounds, I'm sure Animal Control isn't going to tuck him in for a permanent mimis. Doji will be saved (I hope). Besides, sitting in a doggy jail cell is probably better than Randy and Evi always checking the insides of your ears for hidden recording devices planted by their enemies. | |
| Just A Regular Night For Charlie Sheen | Top |
| Charlie Sheen's life is just a leased Mercedes that keeps crashing into a ditch over and over again. It gets pulled out, dusted off and then it goes careening down the hill again. Well, Charlie's latest crash happened early this morning at The Plaza Hotel in NYC. The police were called after Charlie trashed his hotel suite in a drunken rage. Sources say that Charlie accused an unidentified woman (aka a premium pussy peddler) of stealing his wallet. Charlie is in town for a family trip with his ex-wife Denise Richards . Yeah, some hos like to end a day with the family by sucking on a bong filled with whatever in a Calgon bath, but Charlie likes to end it by snorting a speedball off a whore's labia before beating up a chandelier. The New York Post says that the police found Charlie fucked up in more ways than one, so they took him to the nearest hospital. Denise Richards went with him, because if anybody's an expert at johns gone wild, she is. But the plot thickens like the vomit rising from a call girl's froat when she finds out she has to fuck on Charlie Sheen. A different source tells Life & Style that when police walked into the suite, Charlie was passed out on the bed and the hooker was locked inside of a closet screaming her clit off. The source painted this lovely picture, "She was fearing for her life and was naked. Charlie was incoherent but started screaming slurs at the cops. They recognized him immediately and gave him two options: they could take him to the hospital or take him down to the station. Charlie chose the hospital. " TMZ is hearing that Charlie was hospitalized with a serious case of the drunks, but others are saying that the bitch OD'ed. Locking a nekkid call girl in the closet? This cunt plug really knows how to throw a party. You know, I would say that Charlie is getting too old for this shit, but he's never going to be too old for this shit. In 30 years, The New York Post will have a story about how Charlie was found passed out on his walker with an IV drip full of vodka in his arm and a paid piece from the Hos 4 Olds Agency locked in his nursing home toilet room. | |
| Dumb Bitches Of The Day | Top |
| Australian tennis star Lleyton Hewitt and his wife Bec aren't only fashion masterminds (see the glorious 90s mess above, which I swear I've seen before on a member of Jade or maybe in a dressing room discard bin at Judy's circa 1994), they are also geniuses when it comes to pulling every last dollar and bit of attention out of the birth of their baby. Aspiring fame whores, exorcise dignity from your system (which you've already done by coming on to this site) and take note! Lleyton and Bec's daughter was born this past weekend and they are planning to announce her name later this week...for a price. Yahoo! Sports says that Lleyton and Bec have teamed up with "Text A Star" to deliver the name of their baby for $2 a message. Now you can get fucked for $2 a minute without pressing 9-0-0. When the media started to get on Lleyton and Bec for putting their baby's name on the corner and forcing it take shake its ass for two dollas, he wrote this on his website : Some sections of the media have as usual found it opportune to place some spin on reality by suggesting we have taken this approach just to make money. Certain media people believe that are the only ones who should have an exclusive. In this instance we made a decision that my fans deserve to know first, and the general public second. That's what we have done and just look at how many of the media have reported it. I've always assured my fans that they'd be the 1st to know on Text a Star and that's why I am part of such a great program, as I can send it straight from my mobile directly to theirs. "We care about our fans so much that we are going to charge them two dollars for a series of letters they can read ANYWHERE FUCKING ELSE FOR FREE ONCE IT LEAKS!!!! " Hahaha. Those dumb bitches have outdone everybody. Let's just hope they keep the shameless whoring going by charging another $2 for their baby's first burp, fart, and her first words which will totally be "TEXT A STAR." | |
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