The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- Courtney Cox & David Arquette Are Just On A Break!
- The Hollywood Whackers Must Be Stopped, So Says Randy & Evi
| Courtney Cox & David Arquette Are Just On A Break! | Top |
| David Arquette has already opened up his mouth hole wide and spewed out every detail about his split from Courtney Cox including how their genitals haven't barfed on each other in 4 months and blah blah blah... So now it's Courtney's turn, but she kept her legs firmly closed for this interview and didn't discuss her vagina's post-David adventures. Courtney told Australia's TV Week (via People ) that she has no plans to melt down her wedding ring and turn it into a BFF split heart pendant to give to Jennifer Aniston . Courtney says that divorce is not in their near future, " I don't know what will happen, but this is not like we're getting divorced. This is a separation and I think that takes a lot of courage . . . Whatever is supposed to happen will be the best thing for us. Sometimes you just realize 'Wow, we actually have grown apart. " When asked about David telling the world about their personal shit, Courtney said, " David is a kook. It's not shocking and Howard Stern he loves him and I'm a fan of Howard Stern . . . David is an entertainer and I'm sure the people who listen to the radio are entertained by his stories ." Sometimes when you've been with a bitch for 20 years, 10 years, 6 months, a week, whatever, you get bored with putting your tongue on their same old fuck part. You know every crinkle and wrinkle like the back synopsis of a Showgirls DVD (seriously, I have that shit memorized). So you go out and lick on other fuck parts, and sometimes by licking on a bunch of other fuck parts, you realize that the first fuck part is still your favorite to lick on. Whoever said " absence makes the heart grow fonder " really meant to say " absence makes the dick grow harder ." My guess is that Courtney and David hope this happens for them. Or maybe bitch doesn't have a pre-nup and she's not about to blow a goodbye air kiss to half of her money IN THIS ECONOMY. Yeah, that's probably it. | |
| The Hollywood Whackers Must Be Stopped, So Says Randy & Evi | Top |
| The quacked out Quaids should really be speaking to a highly-skilled team of mental health professionals carrying trays filled with assorted meds, but for some reason their lawyers let them speak to ABC News instead. Randy and Evi Quaid once again put an aluminum foil cap on our heads by telling us how they believe there's a vicious conspiracy against Hollywood actors!!! Hide yo Brit Brits ! Hide yo Mel Gibsons ! Hide yo Lindsay Lohans , because Cousin Eddie thinks they are all in danger, girl. Speaking from their hiding place in Canada, Randy and Evi said there's a mafia out there who is destroying and murdering the innocent virgin angels of Hollywood one by one. They don't think Heath Ledger died of an overdose. They believe he was murdered for ad dollars (blame Don Draper)! DUN DUN DUN! They also believe that Mad Mel Gibson isn't an anti-Semitic, racist leather duffel bag of Hitler shit. They think that Mad Mel was drugged by the Hollywood whackers. Um. Randy and Evi need to adjust the wire hangers they stick in their ears to spy on the Hollywood mafia, because I'm pretty sure something got lost in transmission. Mad Mel wasn't drugged with Jew-hating pills, he's just a natural born cunt! Here's a few pieces from Randy and Evi's interview. They really continue to out CRAZY themselves. Randy on people saying they are crackheads and/or schizophrenics : "No. To have my integrity and my reputation so denigrated so mercilessly - why? Why would somebody want to do this to me?" Randy on how they know the Hollywood mafia is out to GIT 'EM : "They follow us, they tail us. They tag our cell phone, they hack our computer." Evi on who is trying to kill them : "...An estate planner who would make a living trust and a county that could cash Randy's royalty stream forever. I feel like Uma Thurman buried in a coffin. I genuinely feel these people are trying to kill us." Randy on his brother Dennis: "It's been a little tense the past few years, but I love my brother very much. We're worried about him. He's being victimized by the same people." Evi on her brother-in-law Dennis: "Dennis is now on a treadmill of making movies that are garbage and it's unfortunate because he's talented," Evi on Mad Mel : "I think he was drugged. I think he was slipped a Mickey." And now for the video!!! You know, I'm kind of surprised they didn't insist that the interview be filmed on their own mini-disc camcorder in case the Hollywood whackers hid a gun in ABC's cameras. All joking aside, Randy and Evi might have a point. Exhibit A: These pictures of Dennis Quaid in costume as Pauly D from Jersey Shore . This is obviously the work of the dark-sided Hollywood branch of the Illuminati. If this is the case, then I say good work Illuminati, because DAMN at Dennis' body. Bitch has abs that could almost scrub the crazy out of Randy and Evi. Almost. | |
CREATE MORE ALERTS:
Auctions - Find out when new auctions are posted
Horoscopes - Receive your daily horoscope
Music - Get the newest Album Releases, Playlists and more
News - Only the news you want, delivered!
Stocks - Stay connected to the market with price quotes and more
Weather - Get today's weather conditions
| You received this email because you subscribed to Yahoo! Alerts. Use this link to unsubscribe from this alert. To change your communications preferences for other Yahoo! business lines, please visit your Marketing Preferences. To learn more about Yahoo!'s use of personal information, including the use of web beacons in HTML-based email, please read our Privacy Policy. Yahoo! is located at 701 First Avenue, Sunnyvale, CA 94089. |
No comments:
Post a Comment