The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- RuPaul's Drag Race Contestant Sahara Davenport Has Passed Away
- The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For October 1st!
- Hot Slut Of The Day!
- Birthday Sluts
- Taylor Swift Is Not Going To Give A Concert At A School For The Deaf
- Night Crumbs
- Speaking Of Scaring Wild Beasts.....
- Open Post: Nishanto The Bear Scarer
- Drew Barrymore Had A BABY!!!!!
- Taylor Swift To John Mayer: "You Probably Think This Song Is About You."
| RuPaul's Drag Race Contestant Sahara Davenport Has Passed Away | Top |
Several queens from RuPaul's Drag Race and judge Michelle Visage all confirmed in several tweets of sadness that season 2 contestant Sahara Davenport (born name: Antoine Ashley) is now up in heaven, covering the eyes of the angels with glitter. Some reports say that Sahara was 27 and some reports say Sahara was 28, and I'm saying that she was too young to be sharing an Absolut cocktail with Jesus in the Interior Illusions lounge in heaven. Queerty says that Antoine Ashley was born, raised and schooled in Texas. Antoine got his BA in dance from Southern Methodist University before moving to NYC where he worked as an actor, dancer and singer. There's no details as to how or when Sahara passed away. Sahara's partner and fellow Drag Racer, Manila Luzon, only wrote: "I love him" on Facebook on Sunday night. And RuPaul tweeted her condolences this morning:
Rest in peace, Sahara Davenport. | |
| The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For October 1st! | Top |
Since Kim has only slept with black and white guys, the other colors get together to rejoice. - OurMissC Runners-up: You don't know which one to blame now, Lindsay. - daisy100 The Benetton brand never really recovered from hiring Richard Simmons as their spokesperson. - HamilcarRules via Poorly Dressed | |
| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
The reason why my arteries cry today: Pizza Hut's Kit Kat Pops! The Middle East has really been bringing it lately. First, they give the world the all-gay couples and single dads Ikea catalog (I am patiently waiting for their all-lesbian couples and single moms Ikea catalog) and now Pizza Huts in the Middle East are pushing out Kit Kats wrapped in pizza dough. Us Americans should be disappointed that our Pizza Hut didn't shit out this diabetes-summoning deliciousness first. To follow up their Cheesburger Crusted Pizza (that looks exactly like Mama June's ovaries), Pizza Hut wrapped pizza dough around a Kit Kat, fried it up and has been selling it since June. HuffPo says that it also comes in a cheese variety too. PFFT! Who wants to fill their mouth with a peen-shaped wad of fried dough stuffed with cheese (Side note: It's too early for dick cheese jokes.) when you can fill your mouth with a pooping Twinkie instead? And it's pretty much confirmed that Pizza Hut has put a wire tap in Jessica Simpson's brain and is recording all her wet dreams. | |
| Birthday Sluts | Top |
Tiffany (41) | |
| Taylor Swift Is Not Going To Give A Concert At A School For The Deaf | Top |
When Taylor Swift announced that Papa John's and Chegg were sponsoring a contest on Facebook for any school to win $10,000 for their music department and a performance from her, the fuckery makers at 4Chan and Reddit trolled her hard by voting for The Horace Mann School for the Deaf in Allston, Massachusetts. The Horace Mann School got thousands upon thousands of votes and it was looking like the kids were going to feel their ears tingle and sting as Taylor Swift yodeled out her signature Kennedy mating call in the lunch room. The headmaster of the school said at the time that his students love music and he hopes they win the contest. Well, guess what? They were disqualified! Boston.com says that Taylor, Papa John's and Chegg all decided to take Horace Mann out of the running because of the way the school got their votes. But the Illuminati didn't send Taylor Swift a "welcome to the dark side" gift basket for making deaf children cry, because she donated $10,000 of her own money to The Horace Mann School. Cover Girl, American Greetings and the contest's two sponsors also donated $10,000 each, so the school is getting a total of $50,000. Each student will also get tickets to Taylor's show the next time she performs near their town. The internet's trolling pays off again. Everybody wins. Taylor wins, because she looks like a damn saint. And the kids really win, because their school got $50,000, they don't have to sit through a Taylor Swift show in their cafeteria and they got tickets they can sell on Craigslist. | |
| Night Crumbs | Top |
The Trollsens went to lunch with Mary-Kate's French piece Olivier Sarkozy, and they both look like they're saying to themselves, "DAD! Stop trying to be cool by smoking. You're embarrassing us! GAWD!" - Lainey Gossip With the shit Lifetime is putting out, it won't be long before they put out a James Dean biopic starring Justin Bieber - The Superficial New York's triumphant return to TV - Towleroad Chris Crocker bottoms in a porn for the first time and this is where we all scream, "Leave Chris Crocker's butthole alooooooone" - Manhunt Daily Amanda Bynes should hide her face for wearing those fug velcro wedges - Hollywood Tuna Aubrey Ho'Day keeps it demure and subtle as always - Drunken Stepfather The rest of the pictures from Taylor Swift's Glamour spread sponsored by Adobe Photoshop - The Berry Fiona Apple shits on gossiping bitches for saying she looks like a Smeagol grandma on meth - Celebitchy Adele's Bond song sounds like a Bond song by Adele - Just Jared January Jones hates disabled people - ICYDK And while GOOPY Paltrow kissed her husband, she thought about how she would rather be kissing her real love: her wood-burning outdoor pizza oven -Popsugar What in the HELL kind of GD outfit is Christian Serratos wearing? - Popoholic Bar Mitzvah Vogue boy comes back for an encore - OMG Blog Cat Deeley got married - I'm Not Obsssed Thirty Three Three-Legged Dogs! - Cityrag Somewhere off camera, Pimp Mama Kris is screaming, "Do the position you did for Ray J that made you a star! Whore out, Louise!" - Celebslam Halloween came early at the Gaultier show - Hollywood Rag | |
| Speaking Of Scaring Wild Beasts..... | Top |
| From Nishanto the bear scarer to Rosie the gorilla scarer.... On last night's reunion of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, the rabid animals from the New Jersey exhibit in the Bravo zoo were all stuffed into the old pageants gowns of Miss Venezuelas past and were forced to go after each other while a confused, scared, wonk-eyed gay squirrel looked on. And DAMN did they go after each other. In the clip above, new-faced Kathy goes after no forehead-having Theresa by calling her father a coward. Theresa returned the slap by bringing up Kathy's late father and that shit awoke the butch beauty beast! Former HSOTD and Kathy's sister Rosie nearly made Theresa's gorillas in the mist hairline jump back a few inches when she started screaming backstage. Rosie threatened to rip Theresa's head off and serve it to Kate Capshaw. Cousin Rosie went OFF like somebody just took the last Home Depot lumber cart that she had her eye on. We won't really know if Cousin Rosie ate Theresa's head off until part two airs next week, but this is all I needed to see. I have never been this sexually turned on IN MY LIFE. Rosie's rant made me a lesbian and now I think I need to spend some alone time in Tokyo's dildo bar. | |
| Open Post: Nishanto The Bear Scarer | Top |
| If you don't want wild bears to come to your backyard, then don't make your backyard look like a beautiful enchanted storybook garden where all creatures come together to sing Disney songs and talk to each other. But if you insist on making your backyard look like a beautiful enchanted storybook garden and a bear comes to visit, do what Nishanto is doing in the video above. Nishanto doesn't play around and screams at him like she's an abuelita and he's screwing with her telenovela watching time. This method also works on other bears too. So if you're a massage therapist and John Travolta's bear hole starts growling at your crotch, you know what to do. via Gawker | |
| Drew Barrymore Had A BABY!!!!! | Top |
Drew Barrymore never came out and said publicly that a growing fetus moved into her uterus, so let's just pretend that she didn't know she had a case of the babies and will be seen on a reboot of TLC's I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant making a surprise face after she pisses out her first kid into the toilet. The star of the greatest cinematic masterpiece about a teenage slut murderess and her husband Will Kopelman have a 5-day-old baby in their arms and they announced the birth of their first kid in this statement of words they gave to UsWeekly:
Okay, when are we going to find out that Drew Barrymore, Anne Hathaway and Reese Witherspoon all married the same dude? They all married white dudes with faces I totally forget. And about that name Olive... Drew is a hippie who named her production company Flower Films, so I was expecting her to name her kid something like Pansy Lysander or Daffodil Silvermist. You know, something sounds like the name of a Pottery Barn potpourri inspired by Midsummer Night's Dream. Whatever, at least when Olive grows up, she can greet everyone by saying, "Olive, Olive, charmed, charmed!" | |
| Taylor Swift To John Mayer: "You Probably Think This Song Is About You." | Top |
Serving up some "broken condom baby of the Cowardly Lion and Dorothy" realness, Taylor Swift is Photoshopped to Oz and back on the cover of Glamour's hair issue, and during the interview with the magazine they asked her if the Lisa Frank glitter sticker she calls a heart felt sadness over what John Mayer said about her. Summer's Eve came out with a new scent called John Mayer's tears earlier this summer, because he got wet in the eyes from that tramp Taylor not telling him that her song "Dear John" was about him. Taylor only kisses and tells in song form, so she didn't say much when Glamour asked about shooting a musical arrow straight into John's empty douche bottle of a heart: On how John Mayer told Rolling Stone his David Duke dick was the inspiration for the song Dear John: "How presumptuous! I never disclose who my songs are about." On if she wants to know what John had to say about the song: "No! I don't want to know, I don't want to know. I know it wasn't good, so I don't want to know. I put a high priority on staying happy, and I know what I can't handle. It's not that I'm this egomaniac and I don't want to hear anything negative, because I do keep myself in check. But I've never developed that thick a skin. So I just kind of live a life, and I let all the gossip live somewhere else. If you go too far down the rabbit hole of what people think about you, it can change everything about who you are." On how she's side-humping some barely legal boy to get into the Kennedy family: "I don't talk about my personal life in great detail. I write about it in my songs, and I feel like you can share enough about your life in your music to let people know what you're going through." On people thinking she's a Strawberry Shortcake character come to life: "I think some people think it's just apple pie and sunshine and sprinkles and ponies. Which is just funny. But I never feel the need to go out and make some grand statement that I'm dark and twisty and complicated, because I'm not that either. It's just not as simple as ponies and rainbows, though I do love ponies and rainbows." "How presumptuous"? Either Taylor is having a laugh or bitch wants all of us to burn calories by rolling our fat eyeballs. The song is called DEAR JOHN. The only way it would be more obvious that it's about John Mayer is if the song's title was Dear Dick Turd Who Gave Me Crabs. I can't fully hate Taylor Swift for this, though, because she turned the crabs John gave her into a song that probably made her millions. I also can't fully hate on Taylor's exes for being mad about her blasting their asses in a shitty song. Because there's probably nothing more painful than shopping in a Walgreens when the song Taylor Swift wrote about you comes on the speakers and reminds you that you once skipped with her through a lavender field before carving your initials into a giant tree trunk. No, that's not a euphemism. Bitch really makes you skip through a lavender field and carve her initials into a giant tree trunk before she takes them off panties off. Here's everyone's least favorite American Girl doll shooting a video in Paris today. | |
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