Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Y! Alert: Dlisted - Be Very Afraid

Yahoo! Alerts
My Alerts

The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid

Blind Items: The All Gay Edition Top

Although this famous actor is now over the age of 50, he is instantly recognizable as the star of at least one television series and many movies. At his prime, every woman wanted to date him and every man wanted to be him.

He has a wonderful vacation home that is not located on either coast. When his wife is not with him, he likes to invite young men to party with him at this house. Boys only. Yes, he is gay (although he has always vehemently denied it). He is especially partial to young, burly bears. Yes, he likes them hairy. (Blind Gossip)

John Travolta has to hog up every blind item about boy butt sex, so I refuse to guess John Travolta. Besides, he has a vacation house in Florida and I'm sure he loves to have bear parties when Kelly Preston is with him, because she hands out honey-flavored condoms and boysenberry lube. Not Travolta.

I'll pull out Don Johnson's name as a guess, because everybody knows his face and he's had more than one TV show and has been in a million movies. I don't know if he has a non-coastal vacation home, but one time I was eating sunflower seeds by the pool at my mom's timeshare in Arizona and I saw some dude who sort of looked like Don Johnson. That's my proof and it works for me. Also, I can totally see Don Johnson dressed up like a park ranger while surrounded by a bunch of hairy bears. And I just wanted an excuse to link to a picture of a young Don Johnson getting pantsed by Sal Mineo.

These two very attractive actresses were both stars of multiple television series, although they have not starred on the same show. Both are intelligent and well-educated. Both have been nominated for multiple awards, although neither has won any big awards.

What few people know is that the two actresses were in a very happy lesbian relationship with each other for several years. One of them was ready to come out of the closet, but her team talked her out of it at the last minute. They told her that it would hurt the ratings for the very successful show she was on at the time, and that it would also potentially hurt the career of her partner if they were publicly seen together.

The two women have since broken up, but it certainly would have been quite a shock to the fans if they had come out as a couple at the time! BTW, one actress got married and had children. The other has remained single, but has "dated" several famous men, and is now linked to her costar. (Blind Gossip)

Marcia Cross and Kathryn Morris? That's all I've got.

This A list model and D list actress at least in regards to ability has been dating this A list actor for quite some time. He had her convinced that all the rumors about him and his sexuality were untrue. At first when they started dating they would have passionate sex every night. She was used to three or four times a day or at least guys wanting it that often with her, but she still put it down to his age and his work schedule. Then, after a few months it reduced to a few times a week and then to about once a month and then, as she discovered it was just with the help of several Viagra pills. No man had ever needed Viagra with her before. When she confronted him about it he would say it was because he was tired or sore from working out or jet lagged. He would then take her shopping or on a trip and she would let it slide. When she started talking about marriage and kids though, this action star admitted that he prefers men over women. (CDAN)

Rosie Huntington-Whateverly and Jason Statham who's always got gay rumors tugging at his ass lips, but maybe he just knows how to get his piece to stop nagging him about marriage shit.

This singer was almost A list at one point. When she was in a group she was A++ list with that group. Solo? Almost hit A list. Was thisclose. She has also been a sex symbol for lots of guys over the years. Over the past couple of months she has started coming out to many of her friends and family and the person she was most scared of not being supportive was actually really great and shows that person does have kind spot after all. (CDAN)

Sporty Spice and Posh?

 
Afternoon Crumbs Top

Who needs panties when you can use Daniel Craig's head as a coochie cover? - Popsugar

THE LOOK is Winona Ryder as a trashy biker skank - Lainey Gossip

Lady CaCa can finally retire and let Rebel Wilson sing all of her songs for her from now on - Towleroad

Chestica Simpson keeps it demure and classy in shorty shorts and platform stilts - Hollywood Tuna 

ScarJo dressed like she's about to have a quickie wedding at City Hall - Popoholic

Dear LeAnn Rimes, all of your pain and so-called anguish will go away if you put your Falcor finger on something called the DELETE button - Celebitchy

That River Viiperi dude should punch himself for boning Parasite Hilton - The Superficial 

Lea Michele needs to give that tutu back to the baby ballerina she stole it from, because it's not a titty cover and it's not a good look - Drunken Stepfather

I hope Khloe Kardashian hosts X-Factor while bench pressing Mario Lopez the entire time - The Berry 

Panty Creamer of the Day: Football-playing gay rights advocate Chris Kluwe in Out Magazine - Just Jared

Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry shared the same air and managed to not beat each other with pumpkins while doing so - ICYDK

They should've went for ONE more drink - OMG Blog

South Park perfectly captures the divine grace of Honey Boo Boo Chile and Mama June - SOW

AJ Johnson should replace that cap with a helmet if she knows what's good for her - Crunk + Disordelry

JLo's forehead rises - I'm Not Obsessed

Okay, whatever, but for why does Scott Stapp look like he just fell off the face of a Garbage Pail Kids card? - Videogum

The other day I was watching some crap on the local news about how iPhone theft is on the rise and then I see this story about how Lindsay Lohan is snatching away people's phones for taking pictures of her. A total coincidence I'm sure. - I'm Not Obsessed

 
The CAPTION THIS Contest For October 2nd! Top

via Splash

 
Open Post: Hosted By Basement Baby's New Video Top

Beyonce is too busy supervising the making of a dozen unicorn mane lace fronts for baby Cerulean Bougainvillea that she doesn't have time to entertain the masses, so she accidentally left open the basement door and this is what happened after.

Solange ran away to Cape Town to make a video for her new song "Losing You" which sort of sounds like a Stacey Q b-side from the late 80s. I tried to get into this, but I had to stop, drop and roll out of the room at the 1:15 mark when Basement Baby did a lukewarm version of the Girl, You Know It's True dance. Girl, you know I CAN'T! I'm done with this for the day and will try to watch all of this again tomorrow. Hopefully, they will scrub away those moves by then.

via Gawker

 
George Clooney Is Totally Over Stacy Keibler Top

Above is George Clooney making the same "Take your final bow, ho, because the curtain's coming down" pose he will make when he officially dumps Stacy Keibler any day now. Last month, George Clooney's rep let out a bunch of no no nos on the rumor that a bunch of workers barged into Stacy's bedroom at his Italian villa, picked her up, threw her into one of those portable moving PODS and shipped her ass back to Los Angeles. But George's rep could've just been pulling our dicks (which would be SHOCKING since publicists never do that), because the NYDN says that Stacy is just days away from waking up to find a pink slip on the pillow next to her.

A source type says that Stacy still shows up to events, but she keeps her lips shut about all things Clooney and she constantly checks her phone to see if he's texted or called her. Stacy's got the nervous shakes most bitches get when they know they're about to get dumped. The source put it like this:

"They're barely talking. She is worried that he may break up with her any day now. George is being really distant and pulling away from her. She wakes up every morning and doesn't know what's going to happen."

Now I know how a carton of milk feels when I open up the refrigerator door and peek at its expiration date.

Stacy should've seen this coming. Just a few weeks ago she was trying on engagement rings. ENGAGEMENT RINGS! Nothing breaks George Clooney's boner like the m word, engagement rings and going straight to voicemail when he calls his soulmate Brad Pitt. When you're humping on George Clooney full-time and you do anything wedding related, you should know that on the next Friday morning (they always fire you on a Friday morning), you'll be called into his office manager's cubicle and told that it's just not working out. You'll have to hand over the copy of the key he gave you to his dildo closet and you'll be given a fair severance package before the office manager hands you a Kleenex, because your chocha will cry thinking about how the next dick it touches might belong to Steve-O.

 
Would You Hit It? Top

Now you know what Liam Neeson looks like in the morning when his half-naked ass rolls out of bed to take a start of the day caca on his porcelain throne. (Or maybe he's taking a start of the day piss, because he's still too tired in the body to stand. Story of my AM life.)

Liam Neeson knows that one of the best ways to find a cure for breast cancer is to strip down to his pink panties, so that's exactly what he did on Ellen yesterday. Liam took off his pink robe, plumped up his 60-year-old chest cutlets, sat down and waited for an audience member's ball to make it rain all over his body. I'm totally disappointed that Liam didn't do the Flashdance back arch while a tsunami fell on his head. Watch him in action, and yes, I'm pretty sure his toilet at home looks just like that.

And DUH, I'd hit it. Liam supposedly has an Evian bottle dick and I have a recycling dumpster b-hole, so it's a match! My ass will even spit up 5 cents afterward.

via EW

 
Praise Xenu Claus For Giving Us This Early Christmas Gift! Top

Pour me a cup of hot cocoa, because I butt birthed out a peppermint-flavored marshmallow just from looking at this cover of Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta's new holiday album of music. This is what it would look like if the meaning of plastic surgery and the meaning of gay became conjoined twins. Everything about this piece of art is a work of true beauty and let's analyze it all:

1. The Christmas tree in the background! That tree dimmed its lights, because it wanted to give all the attention to the sparkly twinkles in John and Olivia's eyes that only show up when they join fabulous forces by touching heads.

2. The teacups, which are pissed off, because they aren't the most precious things in this picture.

3. Olivia's face, which has gone from looking like that of a human's to that of a plastic Thundercat's.

4. The thing on John Travolta's head, which has replaced the pink fairy princess tiara as the gayest headpiece in the world. They must've shot this picture in the middle of a freezer, because I can't believe that Sharpie puddle on John's head isn't melting from the heat he and Olivia are making. I've seen cartoon hair that looks more life-like and real than John's spray-on helmet. How many Caltrans workers did it take to paint that pristine hairline? That hairline might be the straightest thing about John.

AND NineMSN says that my new favorite Christmas album feature a guest spot by BARBARA STREISAND! I love it when the punchlines punch themselves.

(Thanks to everybody who sent this in) 

 
JLo's Kid Is Really Excited About Being At The Chanel Fashion Show In Paris Top

JLo must've been desperate for photographers to catch her having a touching and completely manufactured moment with her daughter Emme Anthony, because: a) Who in the hell brings a 4-year-old to a boring ass fashion show in Paris? and; b) Who in the hell brings a 4-year-old to a boring ass fashion show where backstage in the darkness lies the Death Eaters' house mother who keeps the mop of wires on his head glistening white by regularly dying it in the pure innocence of a child? JLo is so hard up for a photo-op that she doesn't care if Kunty Karl syphons the youth and innocence out of her daughter. Oh well, I'm sure Emme wasn't too scared of Kunty Karl. I mean, you get used to staring at the malnourished face of a functioning zombie when you spend every other weekend with Skeletor.

The front row at the Chanel show in Paris this morning smelled like desperation (from JLo), boredom (from Emme), soiled chonies (from Casper Smart, he still hasn't earned his PtD, potty training degree, yet), freshly polished blue steel (from Karl's 22-year-old human Baptiste Giabiconi) and fish (from Kanye). While Emme tried to keep from completely melting down into an impeccably dressed puddle of BORING, her mom's adopted boy toy Casper Smart tried to not look at the hot piece that is Baptiste Giabiconi, because he didn't want to further embarrass his sugar mami by having a cream pie moment in his panties.

And if you're thinking that Suri Cruise and Harper Seven Beckham must be spitting jealousy over this, STOP! Harper Seven Beckham privately viewed this collection in her penthouse suite at The Ritz LAST WEEK. And Suri Cruise already gave this collection to her maid's daughter, because she owned and wore all of it weeks ago!

 
RuPaul's Drag Race Contestant Sahara Davenport Has Passed Away Top

Several queens from RuPaul's Drag Race and judge Michelle Visage all confirmed in several tweets of sadness that season 2 contestant Sahara Davenport (born name: Antoine Ashley) is now up in heaven, covering the eyes of the angels with glitter. Some reports say that Sahara was 27 and some reports say Sahara was 28, and I'm saying that she was too young to be sharing an Absolut cocktail with Jesus in the Interior Illusions lounge in heaven.

Queerty says that Antoine Ashley was born, raised and schooled in Texas. Antoine got his BA in dance from Southern Methodist University before moving to NYC where he worked as an actor, dancer and singer. There's no details as to how or when Sahara passed away. Sahara's partner and fellow Drag Racer, Manila Luzon, only wrote: "I love him" on Facebook on Sunday night. And RuPaul tweeted her condolences this morning:

Rest in peace, Sahara Davenport.

 
The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For October 1st! Top

Since Kim has only slept with black and white guys, the other colors get together to rejoice. - OurMissC

Runners-up:

Dammit John, I said to bring the rainbow flags... - Esteem

You don't know which one to blame now, Lindsay. - daisy100

The Benetton brand never really recovered from hiring Richard Simmons as their spokesperson. - HamilcarRules

via Poorly Dressed

 

CREATE MORE ALERTS:

Auctions - Find out when new auctions are posted

Horoscopes - Receive your daily horoscope

Music - Get the newest Album Releases, Playlists and more

News - Only the news you want, delivered!

Stocks - Stay connected to the market with price quotes and more

Weather - Get today's weather conditions




You received this email because you subscribed to Yahoo! Alerts. Use this link to unsubscribe from this alert. To change your communications preferences for other Yahoo! business lines, please visit your Marketing Preferences. To learn more about Yahoo!'s use of personal information, including the use of web beacons in HTML-based email, please read our Privacy Policy. Yahoo! is located at 701 First Avenue, Sunnyvale, CA 94089.
Posted by at

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)