The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Rachel Hunter Dumped | Top |
| 39-year-old Rachel Hunter , star of The Real Gilligan's Island, Dancing with the Has-Beens, Style Me, Celebrity Paranormal Project, Make Me A Supermodel, Celebrity Circus and any other reality show you can think of, has been straight-up dumped by her fiance just a couple of months before they were supposed to get married. Bitch, I hope the caterers refund your deposit. Everything I know about weddings I learned from Bridezilla . The Daily Mail says that Rachel's 27-year-old fiance, L.A. Kings hockey player Jarret Stoll , e-mailed every guest telling them that the August 14th wedding wasn't going to happen. Jarret didn't give Rachel a reason for why he wanted to quit her ass. Rachel apparently has the sads in a bad way. A friend said, " She has absolutely no idea why Jarret has done this. It sounds like it could be a classic case of cold feet. He is a fair bit younger than her. " I hope Rachel's not hibernating in her bedroom devouring a giant tub of Breyers while listening to " This Old Heart of Mine " on repeat (that would be ironic). Rachel should dry her tears, pick up her vagina, spray some perfume on it and fuck every one of Jarret's friends. Don't stop there. Fuck his father, his uncles, his cousins, his second cousins, his brothers, his gardener, his dry cleaner, etc... etc... Fuck him over by fucking everyone in his life! When he's sitting at Christmas dinner with his entire family, he'll look into each of their faces and die a little inside when he realizes that your pussay has been on every single one of them. Git it, Rachel! | |
| Unfortunately, You Won't Be Seeing Danielle Staub's Chucky Anytime Soon | Top |
| Today in New Jersey, a judge blocked the release of a sex tape starring The Real Housewive of New Jersey's resident ex-coke whoring kidnapper. That's right. You'll have to get your nut off elsewheres, because you won't be seeing Danielle's grinch snatch or leather titty balls....for now. Danielle's 27-year-old ex-boyfriend Stephen Zalewski (the one with the body and head of an elderly retired Secret Service agent) told Star Magazine a week ago that he was trying to sell the tape . Danielle told the court that the video was shot on a cell phone and she had no idea he was doing it. Suuure, Danielle. When Stephen was pointing his cell phone at your vagina, I'm sure you thought he was texting his mother to request fried chitterlings for dinner. Yeah. Danielle gave a very moving speech outside of the court room today after her temporary victory (there's another hearing next month). Danielle said, " I think not just for my children, but for everyone's children that know me, and all women who are looking up to me... um.... My private moments should remain just that: private." Women who look up to her?! Show me a human being with a real uterus who looks up to Danielle! The only bitch that looks up to Danielle is me! That's because when I was a little gay I told my kindergarten class that when I grow up I want to be a coke whoring stripper call girl with ties to the Colombian Cartel. Clip of Danielle's beautiful speech below: | |
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