Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Y! Alert: Dlisted - Be Very Afraid

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The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid

The CAPTION THIS Contest For August 19th! Top
VIA Cracked
 
Open Post: Hosted By Nora's Live TV Debut Top
On Today this morning, they went via satellite to the North Pole for an interview with Nora the Piano Playing Cat and her owners, Santa Claus and his mistress. Nora's owner said that she's a bit of a diva and the ivory tickling pussy proved this by basically only playing a couple of notes. Maybe Nora's not a morning puss like Whitney Houston ? Nora spent most of the interview taking a good look at herself in the piano. You know she was thinking to herself, " Am I really stuck with these two crazies forever ?" VIA Urlesque
 
Is OctoMom In Tunisia? Top
The woman in Tunisia who claimed she was pregnant with 12 babie s has turned out to be a fraud with psychological problems. OctoMommy , get back here and stop terrorizing other countries! Unfortunately, you're our problem! The Telegraph reports that Tunisia's health ministry interviewed the baby faker and quickly determined there was no way she was 9-months pregnant with a litter of 12. A rep for the health ministry said, " Our staff interviewed her at length, but even her pregnancy appears to be in her imagination. The woman has refused point blank to undergo a medical examination. Now we can't even contact her. She's gone into hiding. " The wannabe baby machine's husband has also vanished. The health ministry thinks they were taking a page out of OctoCrazy's book and trying to make a quick dollar. File this under: BABY WHORING FAIL. Seriously, if you want to be a baby pimp, you're going to need actual babies to turn out! I'm sure they could've rented out a few of OctoMommy's for photoshoots and interviews. OctoMom is open to negotiations. But at least the baby typhoon isn't as powerful as I thought it was. Phew, I guess.
 
TLC Is Not Happy With Jon Gosselin Top
TMZ says that the pimps at TLC spanked Jon Grosselin on the ass by sending him a letter claiming he's violating the moral clause in his contract. They aren't amused that Jon is committing acts of douchery by bumping it with 20-something meth faces and boozing it up around town. Sources say that Jon probably doesn't give a possum's pussy that he's pissing off TLC, because he's in talks for his own reality show. And the Fuckery Train keeps rolling all the way to HELL.... Jon is in talks with a production company to star in a shit show called " Divorced Dad's Club ," which will follow a group of recently divorced d-bags. Yup, this is what happens when you rub two tampons together (aka Jon Gosselin & Michael Lohan ). As for Kate, apparently she's the child army's main caretaker and she's handling the family's finances. The paycheck they make from the show goes into a joint account. After Kate puts some money into a college fund for the kids, she takes her share and gives Jon his. Jon has already spent most of it, but Kate's friends say that he's making more cash on the side by whoring out pictures and stories of him and the kids. That's a little tip he learned from Daddy Lohan! And I also hope Kate is starting a " Therapy & Booze " fund for the kids, because something tells me they are going to need a lot of both in the future. Actually, everyone should have that kind of fund. Therapy and booze is a right, not a privilege!
 

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