Monday, November 30, 2009

Y! Alert: Dlisted - Be Very Afraid

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The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid


The Hasselhoff Family Is A Mess Top
While The Hoff dried out in the psych ward on Saturday night, his ex-wife Pamela was put into handcuffs for driving while under the influence of booze. That family and the sweet nectar are fucking done professionally. Pamela told TMZ that she was with her daughters earlier in the evening, trying to comfort them because their father is in the hospital. After she wiped their tears, she went off to dinner to booze her sorrows away. Pamela claims she only had a few drinks, but she blew a .14 on a breathalyzer test, so she must have been doing Big Gulp-sized shots. Pamela was later released on $15,000 bail. This is her second DUI in one year, which means she'll probably have to spend some time in a jail cell. After her arrest, Pamela told TMZ, " I am remorseful and mortified. I am going through a really difficult time between David being in the hospital and dealing with the divorce ." If you want to booze through your problems, then at least do it right. Do what we all do. Take the bottle, go to the bathroom, lock the door, turn on the shower, sit against the wall and bawl your eyes out while listening to Carly Simon's Greatest Hits . Don't get behind the wheel of anything with a motor. And somewhere in a Vh1 board room, Dr. Drew is pitching Celebrity Rehab: Family Edition .
 
Raise A Glass, Gold Diggers Of The World! Top
If nothing gives you a soul boner like a wallet full of money, then grab a Kleenex and keep the lube close, because this is truly beautiful news that'll make you weep tears of joy from your eye holes to your genitals! Brynne Gordon , the delicate CA flower who wowed the world with her refined tastes , married a giant leathery bag of cash in a truly elegant wedding in Australia yesterday. Even IN THIS ECONOMY, gold diggers continue to triumph! Inspiring. In front of more than 500 guests. 26-year-old (in Lohan years) Brynne promised 66-year-old Australian multi-millionaire Geoffrey Edelsten that she will be with him "til bankruptcy does them part. " The wedding will go down in history as one of the most expensive in Australia. The total cost was around $3 million. Brynne wore $500,000 in diamonds and arrived in a helicopter. Fran Drescher and Jason Alexander were paid to host the reception. You know, because nothing makes crystal sparkle like The Nanny and George Costanza. At first, Brynne wanted one of her idols, Kelly Bundy, to host the event, but she's going to save her for the divorce party. Congratulations to the happy couple! And condolences to Geoffrey's checking account, because Brynne is going to tear that bitch up!
 

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