The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- Farewell, Juan Luis Pedro Felipo de Huevos Epstein
- The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For January 26th!
- Hot Slut Of The Day!
- Birthday Sluts
- Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess
- Afternoon Crumbs
- Open Post: Hosted By Sarasota's (And Herman Cain's) Littlest Hero
- Memoirs Of A Stunt Queen: Vanessa Hudgens Almost Falls Out Of Her Top In Front Of The Paparazzi
- Lindsay Lohan Sued For Banging A Nanny
- Vanna White And Pat Sajak Were Tanked On Tequila Here
| Farewell, Juan Luis Pedro Felipo de Huevos Epstein | Top |
Robert Hegyes, mostly known for playing Sweathog Epstein on Welcome Back, Kotter, is entertaining the angels with his Chico Marx impersonation this morning, because he passed away of cardiac arrest at a hospital in New Jersey yesterday. Robert was only 60. John Travolta, this is your cue to take that dead papillon off of your head, put on an afro wig and mourn the loss of your TV friend. Newsday says that Robert was in a bad way for a long time and he was taken to JFK Medical Center in Edison, NJ after he started complaining about chest pains. Those chest pains turned out to be a full cardiac arrest and Robert died at the hospital shortly after. Robert was born and raised in New Jersey and started his acting career by doing theater in NYC. A quick second later, Robert got cast in Welcome Back, Kotter and the rest is Nick at Nite history! Robert later retired from acting and spent his time teaching and writing screenplays. Rest in peace, Epstein. Your legacy will live on when the Welcome Back, Kotter movie FINALLY gets made with Phoebe Price in the role of lead extra. Signed by, Epstein's mother | |
| The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For January 26th! | Top |
"Well, If I cant have a long black ding dong in my mouth, might has well build one on my head, stare at it and dream!" - onetakenfreak Runners-up: Right before this pic was taken you could hear Eva Longoria giggle "he's had WAY more ding dongs at once than that"... - jack-n-the-hat No fuckin' wonder Twinkies are almost out of production with advertisements like this! Nobody wants to lick a Twinkie that's been face raped by 6 Ding Dongs! - Jalapena Source: Poison Paradise via WOW Report | |
| Hot Slut Of The Day! | Top |
Ilona Royce Smithkin, cabaret performer, style icon and eyelash artiste! The Today Show yesterday put on a fashion show starring the seasoned and well-aged beauties of Advanced Style, a blog devoted to the glamour of memaw goddesses, and my eyelashes pretty much singed down to their roots (yes, I've got beady beads for eyelashes now and I don't mind) when Ilona glided out looking like a fiery ginger rhinestone of perfection. At 91, Ilona would rather burn the sidewalks of NYC up with her ginger lashes than nibble on caramel squares while watching old episodes of Father Dowling on Beta tapes. That shit ain't for Ilona, because she has too much glamour to give. I know you're assuming that Ilona's eyelids naturally gave birth to those luscious ginger hair waves, but Ilona actually makes them herself from the hair on her own head. Lashweaves aren't exactly a new thing, but Ilona has taken it to a new level by using the tools of beauty Mother Nature has given her. Every time Ilona blinks, it's like the sun itself is waving at you. The world needs more 91-year-old glamour memaws who are a touch of Vivienne Westwood, a dash of Shirley MacLaine and a pinch of Chicken Cutlets in one fiery ball. Slip on your heatproof safety glasses and get some of this. | |
| Birthday Sluts | Top |
Mike Patton (44) | |
| Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess | Top |
In honor of Australia Day, I thought I would make this blind item Australian. This actress is formerly A list, but now a good solid B. Back in the day when she got her role that made her internationally famous she got the role by sleeping with not just the casting director, but also this rounadabout Australian who was a friend of the director and was already bored with his wife. A further clue is this actress got naked in the movie for which she was cast. (CDAN) The B-lister: Nicole Kidman? A pregnancy in a family is normally happy news. Not so much for this over-30 actress. She is pregnant again, but unsure whether or not she wants to carry this baby to term. You see, she was planning on asking her husband for a divorce this year, and another baby with him was just not part of the plan. She told her friends that her reaction when she saw the positive pregnancy test was "Oh, no! Not another one!" She is only about 4 weeks along, so there is still plenty of time to decide. And since they have lots of money and are already good parents to their existing child/ren, keeping the baby wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. But she really needs to tell her husband first. That's right: you know about the pregnancy before he does. (Blind Gossip) Gwen Stefani is only an actress if the definition for actress suddenly traded places with the definition for singer, so it's not her. Stepford Katie's vagina has a Scientology-made chastity belt over it and the Scientology scientists will only open it to knock her up again with L. Ron Hubbard's frozen sperm and she's still got a few years left on her contract, so it can't be her either. This might be GOOPY Paltrow. But I'm not sure if they even get down like that anymore, because every time they try she gets the Master Cleanse wet shits again. Her significant other tricked her, plain and simple. This B+ movie actress who has been nominated for the biggest of the big awards has been involved in a relationship with this almost A list movie actor. He has cheated. Lots. They even took a month long break. Then he came back to her and apologized and she made him tell her who he had been cheating with and he promised to remove the woman from her life. He has. So what is the big deal you ask? There were two women, not just one and he gave up the one he had already called it quits with. The other one is right there. Everyday. It is the nanny. Doesn't our actress realize it? Everyone of their friends knows it and it is right there but she seems oblivious because she thinks he got rid of the mistress. (CDAN) I'll just leave this picture of Naomi Watts, Liev Schreiber and two possible nannies here. | |
| Afternoon Crumbs | Top |
Panty (the panties on straight dudes and lezzies) Creamer of the Day: Adriana Lima pushes out her titty balls - Popsugar It's always a good day when you find out that VaJohnny is still intact - Lainey Gossip Liam Neeson is converting to Islam because they have purdy buildings. Works for me! - The Superficial Only an Earth God is worthy enough of being Godmother to our newest messiah - Celebitchy Stephen Colbert and Maurice Sendak need to party with Demi Moore - Towleroad Vienna Sausage in a purple casing bikini - Hollywood Tuna The exquisite eyebrows of Big Brother's Tashie Jackson look like hair scalpels made by the angels - (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather Jennifer Aniston's Beanie Babies don't have to share one room anymore! - ICYDK Shelley Duvall is back! (I really wish this was Shelley Duvall) - Popoholic Melissa McCarthy is a Brangeloonie - Just Jared Bradley Cooper can afford the finest beards money can buy now - The Berry I approve of this as long as Drake plays Obama as Wheelchair Jimmy - Videogum Kate Beckinsale's dress looks so soft that I just want to wipe my no-no with it - I'm Not Obsessed Corey Feldman's date on his right is like, "The fuck has become of my life?" - SOW But has this dumb fuck discovered the McNuggetini yet? - The Daily What | |
| Open Post: Hosted By Sarasota's (And Herman Cain's) Littlest Hero | Top |
| 7-year-old Rita Lawlor was given an award by The Sarasota County Fire Department for slapping the life back into her mother with a slice of pizza. Just when I was about to get my baby making part snipped so that I can never drunkenly go down to the sperm baby to donate my shit for quick weed money, I see something like this. If I passed out right now, my dog would eat the pizza AND my face. Children (when teamed up with pizza) save lives! via Buzzfeed | |
| Memoirs Of A Stunt Queen: Vanessa Hudgens Almost Falls Out Of Her Top In Front Of The Paparazzi | Top |
Since promising the paparazzi yet another set of 10 million pictures of her frolicking around on the beach in a bikini doesn't seal the deal anymore, Vanessa Hudgens promised them a little something more like a totally natural and not-at-all staged OHMYGAH MY TITS ARE FALLING OUT OF MY TOP LIKE I PRACTICED ALL DAY OHMYEFRON STOP STOP NO I'M JOKING KEEP GOING OHMYGAH WILL A LITTLE NIP SLIP GET ME MORE MONEY OHMYGAH I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME OHMYGAH moment in Hawaii yesterday. I haven't seen anything this pathetic and desperate since, well, since about 10 minutes ago when I caught myself in the mirror uploading a fake Craigslist "casual encounters" ad so strangers will respond to it with their hot dick pics. Well, nobody responds to my real ad so what I'm supposed to do? Go dick picture-less? | |
| Lindsay Lohan Sued For Banging A Nanny | Top |
If Lindsay Lohan isn't pushing ridiculous lawsuits out of her lawyer's ass, her lawyer's ass is taking ridiculous lawsuits filed against her. Remember during Lindsay Lohan's crackier days when she nearly sent a sunglasses-wearing child to Jesus when clipped the kid's stroller wheel with her Maserati? (Click here if you want to dip back into the fuckery to relive the coked-up memories.) The kid's soul was scarred, because she stared into the eyes of a meth-faced ghost, but other than that she rolled away without any injures. But the nanny pushing the kid is now saying that she got injured and she wants some cash from LiLo. Nubia Del Carmen Preza (which I'm pretty sure is the same name as one of the queens on the new season of RuPaul's Drag Race) filed a lawsuit in L.A. yesterday claiming that she got messed up physically during the September 2010 accident (or was it?). Radar says that Nubia Del Carmen Preza is also suing the car company who let LiLo use their Maserati. At the time, LiLo denied clipping the stroller, but she'll also deny she's a coke whore to your face while she's got an 8-ball up her nostril and a drug dealer's peen up her poon (or vice versa, depending on her mood). Nubia never filed a report with the police department and this lawsuit is the first time anyone has ever heard about her so-called injuries. It's obvious that Nubia is straight scamming a trick and she's estúpida for doing so. Nubia is a Latina who isn't famous. LiLo is a white celebwhore who has proven time and time again that the justice system is her personal bitch. Six seconds after they stroll into court, LiLo will be pardoned for EVERYTHING and Nubia will be sentenced to 3 years in a mythical place we've never heard of called an "overcrowded-proof jail." | |
| Vanna White And Pat Sajak Were Tanked On Tequila Here | Top |
On ESPN's Dan Le Batard is Highly Questionable (via THR) the other day, Pat Sajak told Dan Le Batard (pronounced: luh butt tard) a secret and it wasn't that his current hairpiece is made of Vanna White's old bangs or that he was the prototype for the Teddy Ruxpin doll. Pat told Mr. Luh Butt Tard that back in the 80s he and Vanna would drown their insides with a margarita typhoon between shows and then stumble back to the set not knowing their vowels from their consonants. So basically, nothing has changed! "Vanna and I would go across and have two or three or six and then come and do the last shows and have trouble recognizing the alphabet. They're really good tapes to get a hold of. I had a great time. I have no idea if the shows were any good, but no one said anything, so I guess I did OK. I would be hesitant to have anything to drink now." And after the show, the drunk hot flashes would overtake Vanna and Pat's bodies, so they'd rip off their clothes, she'd sprawl out on the wheel, he'd spin it and then poke her with his peen every time she came around. When Vanna had enough, she'd put the bankrupt wedge over her chocha. But seriously, Vanna keeps giving me reasons to hate her. I already hate her for the following reasons: 1. Vanna gets to drape herself in ensembles that are the epitome of GLAMOUR. (Exhibit: A) The list goes on and on, but now "getting fucked up on the job" is now at the top of that list. Although, I shouldn't really hate her for that one since I'm typing this while wondering if my diet will allow me to switch the wheat bread on my sandwich for beer. And here's one of the clips Pat was talking about: I should be impressed by his chugging skills, but I'm more impressed that the pussy wig on his head stays on even when he tilts back. | |
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