The latest from The Full Feed from HuffingtonPost.com
- Tallulah Morehead: Survivor Toncatins: War is Heck; Survivor is Hell!
- Presented By:
- Tom Doctoroff: Human Rights in China: What Consumer Behavior Reveals
| Tallulah Morehead: Survivor Toncatins: War is Heck; Survivor is Hell! | Top |
| Hello darlings. Way back in episode one, it looked like Jalapeno was going to be this season's designated lame-o tribe, but Timbira was not to be out-lamed, and by now should be proudly chanting "We're number two! We're number two!" And if anyone on Timbira is truly Number 2, it's Coach Full-of-Himself, who by this episode, has become Coach Extremely -Full-of-Himself. I've gone from disliking him, to really, really hating him. To the point that I find myself wishing that one of those deadly alligators we keep seeing in cutaway shots would slither out of the B-roll footage, and into the Timbira camp long enough to eat Coach. I imagine the 'gator later on, coughing up Coach's horrible hair in a big, brown hairball. Coach Snake-in-the-Grass set his target on Erinn Hairstylist this week, for the crime of having talked to Candace last week in a friendly manner. Mind you, Erinn lied to Candace, voted against her, thus enabling Coach's blindside of Candace, but that doesn't matter to Coach. After all, Erinn isn't him, and Coach is one of those people who doesn't really give a damn about anyone who isn't him. Plus, Erinn is a woman, and Coach apparently has a real problem with women. He numbered out his hit list to Tyson the Nude Mormon, and it was all the women. No men. Tyson, Master of the Man Tiara, thinks Coach is warm for his form. Don't get your hopes up, Tyson. Only straight men hate women as much as Coach does. And world-class narcissists like Coach really only love themselves anyway. You'd think Tyson would know this, as he's no slacker in the narcissism department himself. Jerry Army Guy, the veteran of a year serving in Afghanistan, was sick. He was lethargically dragging his butt around camp, and had no appetite for the steady diet of beans that they are living on. I would not want to share a camp with a group of people who have eaten nothing for days but beans. This is the tribe who tried to vote out Sierra Slacker for having a strep throat. If they get wind of Jerry's bean illness, it could be toot, toot, Tootsie, goodbye. Over at Jalpeno, they were mastering fishing. Easily five or six minutes of airtime was devoted to the tribe learning to fish, catching fish, cooking them, and eating them. This was not riveting TV. The only thing more boring than fishing is watching fishing. Oh there was some fine dialogue, such as Stephen City Nerd, looking at a freshly caught fish and saying, "That is a fish." Yes, Stephen, that is a fish. And this is my remote control. And this is the button that changes the channel, so try to think of something more interesting to say or do, or I'll be watching Smallville . Reward Challenge : Clearly Mark Burnett read my complaint last week about how they were only doing one challenge a week, and switched back to doing two a week. (Yes, I know the show was shot a couple months ago, but I'm assuming Survivor locations are like the island on Lost , surrounded by a time warp, so that the past is the future and the future is the past, and there is no present at all. Or maybe it's just the vodka talking.) Anyway, it was a dandy reward challenge, if not the equal of last week's tackle basketball in a pond during a monsoon. This one involved the teams wearing blindfolds and having instructions screamed at them. I love these, because blindfolded contestants moving through mazes, retrieving stuff, and taking showers, means lots of collisions, smashing into each other, and smacking crotches on unseen obstacles, and that's much more fun to watch than fishing, even if, for some reason, the men were all wearing shirts. (It was done in triple-digit heat. Why are the men dressed? It's still not too late for me to switch over to Smallville , you know.) The reward was what old game shows used to call "a lovely lounge suite," that is to say, furniture, cushions, blankets, a tarp, and I think a flat-screen, hi-def TV for their camp. The losers get shame. Joe Stud was calling out instructions for Jalapeno, while Debbie Bad Nose Job was screaming random words at Timbira. Doing his Proposition 8 supporters impression, Joe Stud hollered: "Spencer, keep coming straight." I think Spencer can decide his gender preference without Joe's help, but when Joe's admonition to "Keep coming straight" led to Spencer smashing into JT, I had to laugh. Watching JT spill a shower of corn right in his own blindfolded face was also good for a much-needed laugh. Under Debbie Bad Nose Job's inept screaming, Timbira came in a distant second. Coach Full-of-Himself let fly with cries of rage at losing. He's a coach. He lives in the world of sports, and he's still a bad, bad loser. I've seen two-year-olds who are more emotionally mature than Coach. When Jalapeno was asked to choose a Timbirian to head to Exile Dune (Jeff Probst can call it "Exile Island" from now until the end of the Bush Depression, and it will still be a sand dune hundreds of miles from the ocean), Taj piped up with "Brendan," and when Brendan was asked to choose a Jalapenian to join him, he called out Taj. This is their secret plan, to go to Exile Dune together as often as possible together (Brendan, her husband has that trophy they give to murderers. Maybe you two should cool it off, before we end up watching another televised trial.), and amass the clues to the Hidden Immunity Idol. This doesn't seem to be making their tribe mates suspicious. Coach is too busy handing out black spots to all the women on his tribe, and Jalapeno clearly hasn't considered the possibility that the rich wife of a professional athlete might be playing to win. Jeff Probst tried pointing out to Jalapeno that this might be cause for concern, but Spencer Boy Genius just shrugged it off. Coach informed us, in the sort of meaningless prattle that coaches the world over favor, that "Winners find a way to win. Losers find a way to lose." Coach, keep finding ways to lose. Coach began reeling off his Intended Roster of Death to Tyson the Nude Mormon, whom he's taken under his wing as assistant coach, or towel boy, or tiara wrangler or something. Tyson is actually fully aware of what a tool Coach is, but is more than content to let the fool run his mouth to him, as it keeps his name off the Death List, where all the names are women anyway. Debbie Bad Nose Job tried analyzing what they did wrong, admitting that she had been just screaming stuff rather than doing a decent job of directing the players, but Coach cut off all attempts to figure out where they erred and how to do better, saying, "that would be the worst thing we could do." This man coaches ? He's actively preventing them from "Finding a way to win." Of course, he had no reticence about bad mouthing them behind their backs to Tyson, as he commanded Tyson to vote Erinn off next. Over at Jalapeno, smug celebrating was the order of the day. Joe, looking gorgeous with no shirt, told us "I think we put it to 'em pretty good today." Joe baby, you could put it to me "pretty good" anytime. (Joe, call me.) Coach made this insane, "I don't need no stinkin' reward prize," sour loser speech: "Let me bury myself in the sand, get eaten by tarantulas, and bitten by snakes. I don't care about comfort any more. I don't care about anything else except winning this game." I'm 100% in favor of his being eaten by tarantulas, although I would pity the poor tarantulas, but that doesn't really sound like a winning strategy to me. If you are on a soccer team Coach Full-of-Himself coaches, go join another team right away! Talk about "finding a way to lose." Over on Exile Dune, Taj got the clue this time. She kept it to herself for about two seconds, before telling Brendan that the Hidden Immunity Idol is "surrounded by wood," which probably doesn't mean it's in the middle of a gang bang. To lay off suspicion at their always going together to Exile Dune together, they decided to recruit Sierra Whiner and Stephen City Nerd into a Double Secret Alliance. Wow. Finally someone is actually strategizing, and it's a cross-tribe alliance, which means it could survive a merge. That's actually smart. Okay, every edition of Survivor contains some shots intended to turn the stomach, but seeing over-50-year-old Sandy The Loon waking up spooning with, cuddling against, and caressing 19-year-old Spencer Jail Bait was a new low. My skin crawled so far, I had to chase it down. Sandy said, "I know I'm a sex kitten this morning. There's no doubt in my mind." Sandy, you're not any kind of kitten. At your age, you're not even a cougar. You're more like a saber-tooth tiger: extinct. Immunity challenge : The immunity challenge involved rolling giant blocks and then assembling them into a giant puzzle staircase. This lacked even the appeal of the blindfolded contestants walking into people, and again, the men were all wearing shirts. Burnett, I can still slip in a porn DVD anytime. How about some entertainment? This time it was JT yelling, "Keep it straight." What is this, propaganda? To make a dull story short, Jalapeno again found a way to win, while Coach found a way to lose. Coach contributes nothing to his team, but this loss was clearly helped along by Jerry, who's days of illness and little eating had sapped his stamina. Jerry was well aware that he dragged his team to defeat. Tyson told him, "You gotta stick it in if you can, man." Is Tyson Man Tiara coming on to Jerry now? Coach's hatred of women, which is approaching Rush Limbaugh proportions now, was so great that, even as everyone ( finally shirtless) noted that Jerry had sunk them, it was just more fuel for his unmotivated vendetta against Erinn. He sprang on Erinn's slip of a grin when she realized that Jerry had just replaced her as the head on the chopping block. Coach said, "She turned around and looked at the tribe with the evilest sneer." Coach, there is no such word as "evilest." It's "most evil." Never mind that Coach's face never ceases to look evil. He told Tyson, "I practiced her look." He practiced her look? Hasn't he got something better to do with his time? Like maybe finding a way to win? Admittedly, on Coach's face, the look is evilest! Coach continued to campaign to evict Erinn, laying on this load of crap with a trowel: "I exist to surround myself with people that have integrity, and I can not exist around people like that. You guys can because you can socialize with them..." (Coach doesn't notice that he is now insulting the very people he is trying to win over.) "...I am so true that existing around people that smile evilly when somebody else is on their knees ..." Oh the joke I could do here. "...kills me." If only it would kill him Coach is so full of himself he is overflowing. Sierra wasn't buying it. Brendan, shirt-free and beautiful, went Immunity Idol hunting at the statue by the Tree Mail slot. Deciding that the statues twig skirt constituted being "surrounded by wood," Brendan perved out and lifted the idol's skirt. He was rewarded by finding the Hidden Immunity Idol stuffed up what he called "a little hole" in the statue's butt! I'm not making this up. He found the idol stuffed up a statue's butt - ah - cavity (Brendan said "hole" - on CBS during Family Hour!), by looking up its dress. Smart, lovely Brendan, come look up my skirt. You'll find another reward there too. Tyson demonstrated his True Mormon Compassion by stating: "I love seeing people cry when you crush their dreams." Sometimes I think people on Survivor forget that eventually they will return to the real world, and everyone will have seen them on TV. Who would hire Tyson, or ever want to be anywhere near him, after hearing that? This is a game that rewards treachery and having no character. It's no wonder nor coincidence that the first big Survivor winner is currently rotting in prison. Tribal Council : Jeff as usual, did his best to stir the pot, and bring up the grudges lurking just below the surface. He asked who should be the "leader" of the tribe. (a sucker position. Being "Leader" will get you voted out fast.) Jerry suggested Brendan, who knows better. Coach of course, knows who should be leader, himself. He poured it on, by telling how on the truck on day one, "I basically told everybody - with my eyes - to get what they needed to get." He told them with his eyes? What is he, one of the alien kids from Village of the Damned ? I'm sorry. That was a terrible thing to say about homicidal alien kids. Man, is he full of himself! Probst suggested to Erinn that Coach is "a little passive-aggressive?" Coach isn't very passive. He's more like aggressive-aggressive. Jeff to Coach, "Because it sounds like what you're struggling with a little bit is ego." "It's not about ego," Coach lied. Coach is not struggling with his ego at all. He surrendered to his massive ego years ago. Tyson and Brendan were both breaking up silently, listening to Coach's bullcrap pour out. Jerry was, of course, voted out. Someone wrote "Jerry, we'll miss you." on their ballot voting him out..Now that is passive-aggression - and hypocrisy. Jerry survived a year Afghanistan, where some of the most evilest people on earth were trying daily to kill him. He lasted 8 days on Survivor . The previews of episode 4 showed Tyson the Nude Mormon dancing around in only a skimpy loincloth. You have been warned. Cheers darlings. To read more of Tallulah Morehead, go to The Morehead the Merrier. | |
| Presented By: | Top |
| Tom Doctoroff: Human Rights in China: What Consumer Behavior Reveals | Top |
| During Hillary Clinton's recent visit to the PRC, she unsettled human rights advocates, Amnesty International included, with a rather blunt assessment of the current state of China and the United States' human rights dialog. She "decoupled" pursuing America's long-term goals of advancing "universal" rights with the short-term imperatives of stemming further environmental degradation and shoring up global financial markets. Her words were poorly chosen, signaling an ultra-pragmatic Obama administration insensitive to the plight of Chinese dissidents and other freedom seekers. However, the gist of what she said - i.e., human rights need to be put in a culturally-relative context to ensure mutual benefit - was surely spot on. Consumer Preference: A Mirror of Chinese Values To many readers, this adman exists uncomfortably on the fringes of business legitimacy. He is a sell-out cozily in bed with Orewellian dictators. He has made a Faustian bargain with the Chinese: liberty sacrificed on the plutocratic altar of economic return. Perhaps. But Louis Vuitton is not an opiate. Legitimate communications do not "sell" products. They "position" them based on a "brand idea" rooted in: a) something physically "inside" the product that is truly different and b) a consumer "insight," a fundamental motivation to behavior and preference, often a conflict in the heart. Buzz words? Yes. But one thing is beyond dispute: to create successful brands in China, we have to know our consumers, what they want, what they aspire to and how the view the world around them. Consumers' attitudes and preferences do not simply explain product category dynamics; they signal a different cultural universe, one that envelops a radically different moral world view. The PRC, unlike Occidental culture, considers human rights to be: Pragmatic . They are not "inalienable," in a Jeffersonanian or Rousseauian sense. They do not emanate from the conscience of the individual. They must be a means to an end, rather than an end in themselves Quantifiable . As John Stuart Mill argued early on, they should result in the "greater good for the greatest number of people." Incremental . They must be achieved gradually, lest chaos, the ultimate evil, break out. All this is reflected in how the Chinese buy and do business. And unless we recognize differences as fundamental and beliefs strongly held, we will never be in a position to encourage the Chinese to question assumptions of their moral universe. Pragmatic Progress. Chinese philosophy stresses the importance of stability as a perquisite to forward advancement. Confucianism considers mastery of mandated values as the only way to climb the socio-political hierarchy. Daoism focuses on achieving a cosmological harmony - i.e., assuming the shape of that which surrounds you - in order to "flow" forward. Legalism, a framework that bases law on punishment rather than rights, legitimized the barbarism the preceded the unification of China during the Qin dynasty. (Mao's moral transgressions are "70%" excused because he unified "New China.") The key point: concrete progress - individual, societal or universal - is never surrendered to abstract civil liberty. The Chinese consumer landscape highlights this reality. Corporate social responsibility (CSR) does not impress unless individuals' lives are directly and positively impacted. Values-driven, point-of-view brands such as the Body Shop ("safeguard the planet") do not fare well. "Advocacy" sans tangible benefit lands with a thud or evaporate. Nike should not trumpet individualism without a payoff of peer endorsement. Nokia's "Connecting People" must represent more than emotional bonding; the brand should be a passport to success. Smart marketers such as General Electric understand this. During the Olympics, GE fused environmental protection, potentially an off-putting abstraction, with operational efficiency. Johnson & Johnson is beloved because it teaches mothers how to care for children. (J&J's network of neo-natal clinics is only one example of the company's pragmatic altruism.) Even luxury goods, often positioned as a "personal reward" in Europe and America, are marketed as "investments." Dividends are paid as status (i.e., "face"), the ultimate currency of advancement. The Power of Scale : Quantifiable Impact In China, human rights are top down, not bottom up. They do not spring from the God-given dignity of Everyman. They are defined and promoted by the powerful in the interest of collective harmony. Mencius' si duan - commiseration, sharing, courtesy and right versus wrong - are considered to be inborn but not worthy of celebration. Leaders are charged with harnessing positive human impulses for the greater good - i.e., a stable society, lower poverty rates, higher education levels, higher life expectancy and so on. Leaders fall if they fail to advance collective (i.e., the interests of the majority) well-being. They forfeit Heaven's Mandate. Protection of "sacrosanct" rights is not, and has never been, been an important KPI. (As the financial crisis whips up uncertainty, the Communist Party more popular than ever. From peasant to hipster and worker to titan, the vast majority supports the government for its stimulus package, health care reforms and job training initiatives. Structured on a grand scale, these programs will maintain social order. No one, on the other hand, clamors for representative democracy.) Scale is revered due to: a) the absolute authority capable of forging it and b) respect for the benefits yielded by it. This reverence is reflected in many brands' appeal. Microsoft is admired because his operating software conquered the world and made it more efficient. Alibaba's Jack Ma is a hero because he built a new (global) model of online business-to-business transaction facilitation. IBM is actually cool. Most foreign brands are actively preferred to local trademarks because global heft reassures. (That said, local banks are trusted because they are ubiquitous so HSBC and Standard Chartered will never transcend niche - i.e., upper middle class -- status. Richard Yorke, HSBC's China Chairman, wants consumer to think of the bank as the LVMH of personal finance.) A big brand comforts. Size counts. Haier, the appliance manufacturer, is appreciated for its size and expansive service network, not because its products are particularly innovative or attractively designed. "Stretchability of brands" is a distinct feature on China's marketing landscape because bigger is better. In developed countries, basic product quality is more or less assumed. On the Mainland, an environment of fake goods and no consumer protection, new brands are eyed suspiciously; furthermore, establishing their credibility is an expensive proposition. (Media rates in Beijing and Shanghai and Guangzhou are no less expensive than in Chicago or Sydney.) Brands, therefore, tend to extend across relatively unrelated categories. P&G's Olay, for example, covers everything from its premium "anti-aging system" to mass-market shower gel. Unilever's Hazeline is a soap, shampoo, conditioner, and skin cream. Chunlan churns out everything from air conditioners to motorcycles and consumers don't bat an eyelash. Sublime Incrementalism "Enlightenment," in the Middle Kingdom, is dangerous. It smacks of epiphany, an impulsive, come-to-Jesus embrace of Truth. Western "Rights of Man," and the inherent rights of a man or woman, are morally absolute. In China, Western individualism - i.e., elevation of "me" as the basic productive unit of society - is regarded as impetuous, inherently destabilizing. Human rights "breakthroughs" will never happen here and, further, they are not demanded by the people. Yes, people insist that economic interests are protected - property, homes, insurance, health care. These are important to everyone, everywhere. But they recognize progress will be incremental, a result of a structured, meticulously orchestrated approach to reform. They also accept that, in the process, there will be winners and losers and, assuming more winners than losers, sympathy for the dispossessed (or imprisoned) will be muted. Given China's fear of chaos, human rights framework will not be "granted" or "liberated." A framework will continue to be "built," extended over time. The People's Congress will gradually be empowered. The judiciary will, step by step, become independent from the party apparatus. The press will expand its role in exposing official corruption. Social safety nets and comprehensive health care coverage will be stitched, slowly but surely, in a manner consistent with the imperatives of a "harmonious society" (i.e., social stability at all cost, measured reallocation of resources). Intra-party "democracy," checks and balances required to avoid abuse of power, will bloom overtime, albeit tortuously, under the radar. (Any apparatchik under the age of 50 openly discusses the inevitability of political reform. But no one - even Western-educated officials -- believes that representative democracy is a viable path for the People's Republic.) Businesses and Consumers: Fear of Jolts. Chinese corporate strategy also belies faith in pragmatic incrementalism. Every company has a five year plan. Despite the English business press' obsession with the "threat of Chinese brands," practically all manufacturers realize they are not ready to compete head-to-head again American or European brands; they are focusing on getting mainland fundamentals right. Corporate governance reform has been measured (even, yes, plodding). It is usually catalyzed by initial public offerings (IPOs) on foreign exchanges to compel adherence to international accounting standards. To prepare for 3G, the restructuring of the telecommunications industry has been a case study in metronomic gradualism. (Behind-the-curtain machinations were worthy of kabuki theatre.) Chinese shoppers, like their corporate mandarins, fear abrupt change. Foreign over-the-counter (OTC) pharmaceuticals are recognized for "efficacy" but avoided because of harshness. (Chinese medicine is slow-acting and preventative; Western remedies are quick and curative.) Female shampoo users trust "natural" ingredients (e.g., Hazeline's "black sesame for black and shiny hair") because they gradually release "beauty from within." Anta, a mass market tennis shoe manufacturer, champions a "forge yourself" spirit via a tagline, yong bu zhi bu ! (Literal translation: eternal-no-stop-step.) Middle class women love diamonds because they "seduce," not "grab attention"; they "sparkle," not "glare." Premium cars and luxury fashion brands are positioned based on "mastery of detail" or "connoisseurship." Johnny Walker's "Keep Walking" resonates because it frames forward advancement as a relentless journey, not a sudden ascension to superhero status. Rise or Fall, Together As Hillary Clinton said, China and the United States will either rise together or fall together. Opinion leaders should promote their worthy objectives of advancing Western concepts of human rights by helping the Chinese understand compatibility with their predilection for both stability and order and advancement, both individual and collective. If we fail to embrace cultural relativism, China and America, on so many levels the yin and yang of 21st century prosperity, we forever preach doctrine rather than engage in productive dialog. If you don't believe me, listen to Chinese consumers. More on China | |
CREATE MORE ALERTS:
Auctions - Find out when new auctions are posted
Horoscopes - Receive your daily horoscope
Music - Get the newest Album Releases, Playlists and more
News - Only the news you want, delivered!
Stocks - Stay connected to the market with price quotes and more
Weather - Get today's weather conditions
| You received this email because you subscribed to Yahoo! Alerts. Use this link to unsubscribe from this alert. To change your communications preferences for other Yahoo! business lines, please visit your Marketing Preferences. To learn more about Yahoo!'s use of personal information, including the use of web beacons in HTML-based email, please read our Privacy Policy. Yahoo! is located at 701 First Avenue, Sunnyvale, CA 94089. |
No comments:
Post a Comment