The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
- A Crime Against Beauty, Elegance & Lucite: Part II
- The Sun Doesn't Always Shine On Brad Pitt
- Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess
| A Crime Against Beauty, Elegance & Lucite: Part II | Top |
| Why can't a lucite and crystal Pegasus swoop down from the sky and carry The Empress of Lucite off to a sparkly lucite kingdom in the sky where she will be safe from that beauty-hating monster who is always attacking her pristine face? Earlier this month , Shauna Sand's husband, Romain Chavent , was arrested after he choked her fragile neck with his beastly hands! Shauna got away from him, but not for long. TMZ says that Romain recently bit her naturally luscious lips so hard that she popped and deflated. Shauna finally got a restraining order against him. TMZ says that in the papers The Empress of Lucite states that Romain " bit my lips as hard as he could, holding me down for 10 seconds, causing severe bleeding and cuts to my lips. He then spit the blood and skin back at me. " Romain then held her down " suffocating me with his hands over my nose and mouth for 20 minutes ." How is Romain not marinating on death row?! A crime against Shauna is a crime against us all! The Empress of Lucite should really go back to Lorenzo Lamas . He treated her like the beautiful lucite flower she is. They were the romance of their time! The stars and the moon aligned when they were in love. If they reunited, wars would end, children would stop crying and the world would be a wonderful place again. | |
| The Sun Doesn't Always Shine On Brad Pitt | Top |
| I know you're wondering to yourself how it's possible for the rain to fall on Willy Pitt's head since the heavens always open up and the sun's rays follow him wherever he goes. Brad was shooting a Japanese commercial in NYC and I guess they needed it to rain, so St. Angie probably put in a call to God . She asked him to tell the sun to quit that shit for a while, so Brad can make some money, because baby friends don't come cheap. And I bet that when St. Angie visited the set, she mistook the sumo wrestler for an overgrown orphan baby and adopted him on the spot. So if you see Brad Pitt carrying around this sumo wrestler on his hip, you know the backstory. | |
| Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess | Top |
| This over-30 actress is not known for having the greatest taste in men. Well, it turns out that her taste in home décor is even worse. Although she is working with professional interior design folks, she keeps derailing the agreed-upon plan by insisting that they incorporate some of her really ugly personal items. The decorators are grumbling behind the scenes that the actress has the taste of a ten year old, and "we wouldn't be surprised if she asks for a Hello Kitty kitchen". Just proves that money can't buy you taste. ( Blind Gossip ) This isn't Mimi , because I'm sure she already has a Hello Kitty kitchen. Mimi has a Hello Kitty LIFE. My guess is Jennifer Aniston ? " Derailing " gave it away. Which A-list actor's wife belongs to a secret lesbians-only club in L.A.? To keep things discreet, the club staggers arrivals so its members aren't photographed together. ( Gatecrasher ) Secret lesbian club? Isn't that called The Physical Education Teachers Association? Anyway, Jada sounds like the obvious answer, but I'm going to switch it up and go with Mrs. Hugh Jackman ? This very funny C+ television actor with B list name recognition on a very hit ensemble television show was recently pulled over by the police. Our actor had a bit too much to drink and was probably going to get arrested for a DUI. Figuring he had nothing to lose, he offered the policemen their choice of the three women he had just picked up at a club and was taking back to his hotel room. Remarkably both the officers and the two women chosen agreed. The policemen made one of the women drive, followed the actor to his hotel and spent about an hour in his suite before heading back out on patrol. ( CDAN ) Cookie Monster ? Or Jeremy Piven ? Or Charlie Sheen ? Or Jason Segel ? | |
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