The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Too Close For Comfort | Top |
| Today is Jon & Kate's 10th wedding anniversary. Happy anniversary , I guess? While Jon was off trying to make his nuts grow back by sprinkling seeds and saliva from his mistress on his crotch area, Kate spent the day building a bouncy castle for her kids. Well, she also spent the day giving angry oral to a popsicle and almost flashing her " other " tortured beaver to the world. Meanwhile, a plastic bag from DICK's laid down beside her. Kate Gosselin + her " other " beaver + angry oral + DICKS = self-castration. LIGHT BULB! So that's what happened to Jon! As much as I admire Kate for being the master cuntress of cuntness, I don't want to think about her like that! In my mind, Kate doesn't bother with dick. If a peen gets near her, she yells at it until it turns inside out and runs up into the stomach. This would explain why she's such an enormous bitch. Wait. Hold up. Am I saying that in order to be a cunt of epic proportions, you have to give up peen? Shits. I may have to think re-think my life's purpose. | |
| Stephen Baldwin Is Losing His House | Top |
| Stephen Baldwin is currently shitting in a hole in the ground and sleeping outside on I'm Not A Celebrity.... Why Are People Paying Attention To Me?!. When Stephen gets back to the US, he may once again find himself shitting in a hole in the ground and sleeping outside. That's because bitch is losing his house. The Associated Press says that on June 24, Stephen's house in Rockland County, NY will be auctioned off to the highest bidder. Stephen and his wife Kennya owe around $824,000 in payments. They paid $515,000 for the property back in 1997 and tried to see that mess for $3.4 million in 2006, but failed. Bitch should have called Lisa LaPorta from Designed to Sell . That crafty midget would've made it happen! I'm sure this has NOTHING to do with Stephen baptizing Spencer TWATT's dark-sided ass on TV, right? Cut to God with a guilty look on his face. | |
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