Saturday, June 13, 2009

Y! Alert: Dlisted - Be Very Afraid

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The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid


Open Post: Hosted By The Comfort Wipe Top
Right after going caca times, have you ever thought to yourself before wiping, " Ugh. It's too far to reach. Fuckit. " Well, the Comfort Wipe is the product your asshole has been praying for! Your chonies will love it too! " Not since the 1880s" (Can I have WTF?) has there been an invention that improves the task of wiping your own ass with " archaic " toilet paper. It's like a squeegee for your butt! Seeeeriously, how is this any easier? You have to pull out The Shit Stick, attach a piece of toilet paper to it, lift your ass up, aim for the brown eye, wipe and then release. Not to mention that you have to clean it every week when the flies start having a party on it. Well, I guess it gets clean when you use it to scrub your back in the shower. What's the opposite of making sense ? THE COMFORT WIPE!. That being said, every ho in my family is getting one of these for Christmas! The " big guys" in my family are getting two! P.S. - The memaw at the 0:45 mark probably can't wipe her ass on her own, because she's too hopped up on pills. Just a guess. VIA Best Week Ever
 
Cristiano's Second Night With Wonky Top
For the second night in a row, Cristiano Ronaldo ignored the CDC's warnings and spent time with the corroded crotch growth that is Parasite Hilton . On Thursday night, Parasite and Cristiano met at club before going back to Nicky Hilton's house where they most likely played a little game of " Pin the Herp Sore on the Peen. " Last night, Cristiano showed up to Parasite's " GO AWAY " party. Parasite off to Dubai for a few weeks to shoot her reality doody show My New BFF . The Sun says that Cristiano only stayed for a couple of hours. Ugh. That's still enough time for him to stick his skin rod into her cesspoon of destruction. Cristiano needs to curb his dick before someone really gets hurt! He needs to think of his glorious eyebrows! One morning he's going to wake up and they are going to be gone! They aren't going to put up with him making gross toxic love with Wonky! Or even worse, Wonky's lethal snatch fumes could burn his eyebrows right off! Think of your brows, man! You obviously worked hard at getting them to look so sweet, precious and fragile. Eyebrows, you in danger girl! Here's Wonky arriving at some studio in L.A. yesterday afternoon with Tinkerbell in her hands. Tinkerbell must have been taking charm lessons at Barbizon, because she didn't learn to keep her legs closed from her owner.
 

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