Sunday, June 14, 2009

Y! Alert: Dlisted - Be Very Afraid

Yahoo! Alerts
My Alerts

The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid


Calgon, Take Her Away! Top
Katie Holmes took Suri to buy a new friend at the American Girl Place store in Los Angeles yesterday, but she really should have gone to a back alley pharmacy instead to pick up a different kind of doll. The kind of doll that comes in a pretty orange bottle marked HALCION. That shit probably isn't allowed in The House of Cooze, but she should stuff it in Suri's dolly so she can smuggle it in. The saddest part is that Katie's "zombie with a hangover " face didn't come from excessive boozing. It came from being exposed to Tommy's excessive craziness. Somebody hit her snooze button. Here's more of the weepy little robot with Suri yesterday. Suri is becoming a master at discreetly flipping off us off.
 
Jennifer Aniston Is In On The Joke (I Think) Top
Maddox's nemesis was honored at the Crystal + Lucy Awards yesterday for her contribution to film and the tabloid industry . By the way, I knew two sisters in junior high school named Crystal and Lucy. They wanted to be cholas so bad, but their facial features just weren't made for dark lip liner and Sharpie eyebrows. They gave up on that dream and decided to get knocked up at the same time instead. It warms my no-heart that they have an entire awards show named after them now. If anyone deserves it, they do. While accepting her award, Jenny Aniston once again joked about her love life, " I have a strange parallel with movies I was doing and my life off screen. First, it was The Good Girl ...which evolved into Rumor Has It , followed by Derailed. Then there was The Breakup. Followed by the lighter side, Friends With Money. If anyone has a movie called Everlasting Love With an Adult Stable Man, that would be great! I'm at table six, and my agents are at table 12. " Then Jennifer laughed like she's never laughed before! Then slowly her laugh turned into a quiet cry which turned into a category 7 Tsunami of tears. Then she pulled pieces of her own hair out while mumbling, " You stupid, stupid, stupid, you stupid stupid... " But seriously, Jenny's next movie is called The Baster , so she maybe she should put on her sexiest dress and start cruising the kitchen utensil section of Crate & Barrel. Here's more of Jenny last night looking hot while wearing a beautiful dress made by Reynolds Wrap. She used her dress later to make a delicious meal of roasted chicken and vegetables....for one.
 
Usher's Mommy Will Be Dancing All Weekend Top
Usher has officially filed papers asking for The BIG D from Tameka Foster . No, not the " big dick. " Usher wants to quit that bitch after nearly 2 years of being tied down to her legally. There were rumors on Thursday that Usher filed that morning, but he actually waited until Friday. TGIF? A source told People that for about a year Usher has been staying away from Tameka. Probably because her nutstack hangs lower than his and he's always been self-conscious of that. It's understandable. The source said that Tameka hasn't been bothered by Usher not being around to crank her cock, because she spends her time focusing on their two baby sons and the three sons she has with another dude. You know Usher's mother is going to be doing the moonwalk all around town while singing her own acoustic version of The Hives ' " I Hate To Say I Told You So. " That image will get me through the weekend. And so will the image of Tameka hiking up her chonies (the ones with the dick hole) to battle Usher for that MONEY. Git it! Unleash your T-rex jaw of fury on Usher's checking account!
 

CREATE MORE ALERTS:

Auctions - Find out when new auctions are posted

Horoscopes - Receive your daily horoscope

Music - Get the newest Album Releases, Playlists and more

News - Only the news you want, delivered!

Stocks - Stay connected to the market with price quotes and more

Weather - Get today's weather conditions




You received this email because you subscribed to Yahoo! Alerts. Use this link to unsubscribe from this alert. To change your communications preferences for other Yahoo! business lines, please visit your Marketing Preferences. To learn more about Yahoo!'s use of personal information, including the use of web beacons in HTML-based email, please read our Privacy Policy. Yahoo! is located at 701 First Avenue, Sunnyvale, CA 94089.

No comments:

Post a Comment