The latest from Dlisted - Be Very Afraid
| Coming Up Next On Jon & Kate Plus 8..... | Top |
| DIVORCE! Yeah, I totally thought the big announcement Jon & Kate are going to make on their show this Monday is that they are sending the beast on her head back into the forest to live with its relatives. Naw, they are reportedly going to announce it is OVAH between them. If you didn't see this coming then I'll have what you're having, because you are on some serious shit. A source (aka COMMON FUCKING SENSE) tells Radar that they were originally going to announce their separation on July 15th, but it's been fast-tracked. Jon will kindly ask for his nuts back next week by filing for The Big D! Jon & Kate haven't really been around each other the past few weeks. Mostly because whenever Jon comes around, Kate's hair starts growling. And when whenever Jon's no-nut area is around Kate, it starts whimpering. It drives everyone crazy. Does this mean TLC is going to give them two shows now? To be honest, I wouldn't mind a second show starring Kate and her possum head. They could travel the country in a Winnebago and get into all kinds of trouble. It would be like Milo & Otis .......except cuntier....and with chunkier highlights. | |
| More To Love | Top |
| This is a preview for Fox's More to Love which is just like The Bachelor , but with "real" people. And no, it doesn't take place in a Claim Jumper's. The first part makes the chicks look so pathetic. All the single BBWs I know don't cry about how they desperately want to find love. They cry when Hometown Buffet cuts us off, but not over being alone in life. You're never alone in life as long as pie exists. Come to think of it, the scrawny skanks of The Bachelor are also this pathetic, right? I guess that's just a universal thing. Black, white, skinny, fat....it doesn't matter. Being on a network reality dating show will automatically make you seem like you're a cat hoarder who spends her Saturday nights re-enacting the wedding scene from Muriel's Wedding with your stuffed animals. With all that being said, I will still be watching for the drunk fuckery. | |
| Taking The Bull By The Long Furry Peen | Top |
| You know Lady CaCa is flipping out at her stylist right now, because she has this same outfit in her closet just waiting to be worn. Bruno beat her to it! It's okay, Lady CaCa, your dick is still bigger than the fake one on Bruno's costume. Bruno continued to douse Europe with his brand of faggotry with a stop in Madrid today. When in Madrid, dress like a versatile bottom bull with a jaw-breaking dick! I think Katie Holmes is off the hook, because Tommy Girl just fell in love. | |
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